My Parenthood Journey

Work/PFO

2012-02-09T21:51:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 20 Months Old

I haven't much felt in the mood for blogging lately. I think it has to do with work. Work is like really, really busy. It's good in a way. I don't watch the clock. I don't sit there and wonder what the boys are up to in their "other life" at school.

Despite my new found engagement at work, I find that I am one of the least flexible people on my team and I'm out of there at 5pm sharp. My boss had wanted me to travel for a week and I cut it down to two days (now it's no days due to travel restrictions). I'm invited to a weekly 8am meeting that I haven't attended in 2 months.

I even asked my boss if I could do a part-time gig and he basically shot me down. He needs a "full time manager", not a "part time manager" and times are difficult and there will be more cuts this year...how will my switch to part time be perceived? I understand that the switch would mean that he'd be losing resources but I'd really like to spend time with the boys during the week. I feel like I'm a part-time parent.

Our daily routine outside of work consists of getting the boys ready for day care and getting them ready for bed. The minute the boys wake up, Hubby and I pry ourselves out of bed. They get their diaper changed, a bottle, and I get them dressed for the day. As soon as they come home, it's food, neublize, bathe, change, and then Hubby and I hang out with the boys for 30 minutes to an hour. That's the best time of the day.

It's frustrating that time is quickly passing and one day soon the boys will need to go to real school so having days off during the week won't do me any good. J-Man is getting so big. I swear that he went through a growth spurt and there's no baby left in him. I looked around the young toddler classroom today and my boys and one other boy seem to be towering over the other kids!

I envy woman who have a singleton because if/when they can have another, they could (theoretically) take a long maternity leave to bond with both the new baby and the existing child. I don't have that option. Hubby's talking about getting the big V and and it makes me so sad.

I read an article recently that debated if the woman's movement unintentionally set woman back. Woman used to be able to enjoy their kids. Kids had a chance to bond with their mom. But now that we've added work on top of the equation, woman are expected to do everything and life just winds up being a blur. Don't get me wrong. I do think that woman should have equal opportunity. And there's no way that I could handle being a stay at home mom with two demanding toddlers. But part of me wishes that there just wasn't so much that had to be done and that I could enjoy my boys before they grow up. Some people pick their kids up from day care really early, like 3 or 4 and I wonder how they do it. How do I get in on that deal?

Well, there goes my free time for the night and I didn't even write about G-Dawg's cardiology appointment. I'll summarize. His heart murmur is very small...no worries there. He also has a PFO (heart flap that hasn't closed). Also fairly common and benign. No follow-ups necessary unless we want to see if it's closed in a few years.

Vocabulary Explosion II (and General Update)

2012-02-01T20:52:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 20 Months Old

I don't know what the hell is going on but I blinked and now the boys are almost 21 months old already. No wonder we're noticing such changes in our baby boys, they're aging at the speed of light.

Hubby said that all day he kept thinking about how the boys are growing up. My mom commented this weekend that J-Man really understands everything we tell him. It's so true. We were doing our normal bed time routine and at the end, Hubby said "time for bed" as we always do. J-Man dramatically threw himself on the floor screaming and would not get up. He totally understood.

It's important to note that he only tantrumed in his crib for a few minutes before relenting (thank you heartless sleep training) and has gone to bed without a peep ever since. G-Dawg on the other hand wined for a half an hour. I hear him squeaking right now. I think well have to let him do some crying because mommy and daddy can't continue to get up with him 1-2x a night anymore. Note: I started writing this two days ago so "right now" is really in the past.

So I wrote back in October that we had a vocabularly explosion. I can't believe that was almost 4 months ago! The boys are imitating all sorts of words these days. It's so very cool. J-Man often "talks" and I'm sure that he's trying to tell me things and I don't quite understand. I try to listen or at least pretend to because I hear that toddlers whose parents ignore what they say get even more frustrated (read: tantrums).

Here's a slice of what we've been hearing:

Dog
Ball
What's that
Look (I didn't know that J-Man was saying this but the therapist told me he was)
Banana
Mama
I love you (cutest thing ever, especially when they say it at the same time; it sounds like "i la la")
Duck
Kitty
Bubble
Yellow (J-Man's favorite word)
Purple
uh-oh
Choo-choo
Meow
Apple
Hello
Bye bye
Open this

I realize that in my Vocabulary Explosion post that I gave a general update so now's a better time than any...

G-Dawg
G-Dawg has given up his love of books for the most part and enjoys his electronic toys now. In fact, whenever I try to read him something, he closes the book and says "bye bye"! Lately he's taken a liking to wandering. He's perfecting his turns and moving his body around. Hubby thinks that in a few weeks he'll be walking less stiffly.

My mom is convinced that G-Dawg has musical talent. This is of course coming from someone who does have a great talent in music. G-Dawg still continues to sing "Frere Jaques" and she says that his rhythm is perfect for this age. I have hope but I do think that she's reading too much into it. G-Dawg's also been known to sing "abcd" along with his alphabet singing toys although it's an "approximation."

J-Man
Oh, Mr. J-Man...relentless, persistent, and temperamental. When he's happy, he lights up the room. My mama's boy is finally getting some of the shapes in the shape sorter correct when we point to the appropriate shapes. It only took 9 months of coaching. Nothing can be hidden from this boy and I swear he's going to be an engineer when he grows up.

J-Man is musical too, but more so in that he likes to dance. Well, squat. He's a squatting kind of dancer and it's the best sight ever seeing him get his groove on.

J-Man's favorite activities these days are coloring [everything], books with flaps (they both love them), taking things apart and putting them back together (particularly non-toy items that aren't for babies), sitting in mommy's lap, and letting go of mommy's hand and running around outside like he's getting away with something.

We were getting ready for bed yesterday and looking at him he looked taller all of a sudden. I swear he wasn't that tall last time I checked. Wouldn't you know that these past 2-3 days he's been able to get on the couch himself and reach the doorknob without using a stool? Growth spurt! I need to start a growth chart.

With the exception of when they were first born, we've always kind of known that J-Man's the more robust baby. These last two times he's been sick, he's gotten better all on his own: only albuterol, no anti-biotics and or oral steroids. As such, we've been focusing on giving G-Dawg asthma meds. As he gets stronger, I tend to think that J-Man didn't have asthma in the first place. Fingers crossed that he stays well for 2 more days to get his shots.

My Fight with J-Man and his EI Eval

2012-01-28T21:49:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 20 Months Old

Last week I was so proud of my J-Man (despite the illness and sleep issues). He had his EI evaluation and passed with flying colors. Thank God.

J-Man came in at an 18 month level for speech and gross motor skills. The therapist said to expect him to start running soon. I thought that he was running but I guess that she meant like really, REALLY running and not just shuffling his feet fast. Given that he’s in the 90th percentile for height, I imagine that I may have some of my own running to do.

His fine motor skills are at a 28 month level which sounds great but they said that fine motor skills generally rate high. Cognitively and in all other areas he’s at a 21-23 month level. No complaints here! I wanted them to ask him to do more than stack a couple of blocks because my J-Man can actually stack many blocks well by slowly and cautiously putting one on top of the other.

One of the evaluators is a child psychologist so I told her about Hubby thinking that he needed to see a shrink because of his tantrums and misbehavior. I could see the smirk behind her smile when she told me that his behavior was entirely normal.

Today when J-Man was resisting his nap I tried to remember her saying that his behavior is normal. I tried to remember how proud I was of him after his evaluation. You see, J-Man and I had a little fight.

He was exhausted from us making him cry it out last night when he wouldn't go back to sleep after waking in the middle of the night. The crying lasted an excruciating 60 minutes. So when he fell asleep in the car after our play date, I quickly and swiftly tried putting him into his crib but he wasn’t having it. Compliant little G-Dawg slid nicely into his crib and even slept through my taking off his jacket.

After rocking J-Man for a half hour, his eyes were closed and he was relaxed. His body hadn’t jerked as it often does when he falls into a deep sleep but my arm was tired so I put him in his crib, angered that my one break of the day was spoiled by his resistance. He wailed and wailed, all the while G-Dawg remained silent and blissful.

I finally took J-Man out of the nursery, defeated. I basically dragged him out and raised my voice at him. It took all of my strength not to hurt him. I swear that I don’t know how the human race has survived this long. J-Man stopped crying and sat there sheepishly. I proceeded to go into the living room and make use of this quiet time to cool down and do some web surfing. Not much of a peep so I peeked around periodically and he was still sitting there sheepishly, paci in mouth and burpie in hand.

J-Man went to the kitchen gate and started crying. I reprimanded him and he stopped. Eventually he started playing by himself, barely making eye contact with me, looking all grim. It then hit me that J-Man really is a toddler version of me. Two can play this game. I’m floored. How can I maintain a loving relationship with a boy that understands and acts just like me? He’s MY twin not G-Dawg’s.

Help soon arrived and my mom and uncle witnessed first hand the hair grabbing, biting, body flinging, and cheek slapping fun. My mom swore that he was overtired but I’m not convinced this behavior was due to not getting any sleep, only exacerbated by it.

Never before did I appreciate my mom and uncle so much. They stayed with me while I let J-Man cry it out for the second night in a row. It took only 35 minutes and ended when my uncle gave J-man his paci and burpie (his were on the floor). I can only hope he relented because he realized he wasn’t getting anywhere rather than his unfamiliarity with my uncle.

After they left, G-Dawg held his arms out wanting to be picked up and rested his head on my shoulder. I took a tired G-Dawg into bed with me and cuddled him until he fell asleep. It took a whopping 5 minutes. I watched him pull at his eyelashes (!) until he dozed off and took in the softness of his hair. Then I put him into his pack and play. This has been a more frequently occurring routine now that J-Man’s become unmanageable. Could it be that G-Dawg is becoming the proverbial apple of my eye? Or is my appreciation of him a consequence of J-Man’s poor behavior? Poor G-Dawg always gets jilted because J-Man’s my tail (as one woman in my mom’s group calls it). G-Dawg is starting to blossom and I’m looking forward to getting the opportunity to know him a lot better.

Tall Boys Don't Have Thrush

2012-01-27T21:54:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 20 Months Old

FUCK! I wrote this whole post and then pressed the backspace by mistake...gah!!!

The boys had their belated 18 month check-up on Tuesday, just 2 days after G-Dawg was diagnosed with thrush. By that time, G-Dawg had developed a mysterious rash all over his body so I had stopped the anti-fungal meds (Nystatin) and J-Man's coughing had taken a turn for the worse.

The pediatrician took one look at G-Dawg's mouth. "It's a good thing that you stopped the Nystatin because G-Dawg doesn't have thrush. And it's a good thing that he doesn't have thrush because at this age that would mean that he may be immunocompromised." She wasn't concerned about the spots on his body because J-Man had some too (although he always has some spots) and figured that it was a virus.

And J-Man was clearly sick by the time we got there. He has a 102 fever and was clinging on to me for dear life. Needless to say he didn't get his shots that day.

I feel so guilty. The night before we had tried to let J-Man cry it out. He's been fighting bed time lately and we figured it was time to use all of that sleeping training expertise that we digested when the boys were first born. J-Man didn't just cry. He wailed. For almost an hour before I sheepishly went into the room and rescued him. It took a few hours to get him to sleep. As it turns out the poor boy was really legitimately sick.

Hubby discovered that J-Man will sometimes lay down if he lays down next to the crib. There have been a few mornings where I've woken up and Hubby's been sleeping on the floor of the nursery. When I try that it doesn't work. Out of desperation I tried it again the other night and J-Man was so desperate himself that he tried to climb out of the crib! He was unsuccessful but it makes me wonder if we'll have even bigger problems soon. All of my anger dissipated when I saw my little man try to climb.

Our video monitor has a microphone feature and for fun, one night when J-Man was crying he said "J-Man, lay down." Immediately, J-Man dropped down and we watched him looking around the room, wondering where the big booming voice came from. Hilarious! And it actually worked to get J-Man to go to sleep a few times. Unfortunately the novelty has worn off.

I digress...the fun part of the check-up was the stats:

G-Dawg: 97% for height and a little over 26 lbs
J-Man: 90th percentile for height and a little less than 26 lbs.

TALL boys! Funny, they don't seem that tall to me but it makes me so excited and proud even though it's not really something that I can control.

What surprised me was that G-Dawg weighs more. It could just be that the scale was off with J-Man because he was flailing around. J-Man has a belly and a big chin and looks so robust. The pedi isn't concerned with G-Dawg's weight and thinks he's tall and skinny. Hubby thinks that he's too skinny and recently we've been forcing Pediasure on him before bed to get something in him when he refuses to eat. I guess that we don't really have to do that.

I didn't mention in my last post but I did wind up putting ome garlic oil in G-Dawg's ears. I can't help but wonder if that helped his throat infection somehow. It just perplexes me how thrush can be misdiagnosed. I've heard that its obvious and G-Dawg hadn't had milk right before his diagnosis. The pedi's fine with trying garlic as long as the infection isn't terrible.

I had taken the boys to their check-up myself and afterwards I've felt a soreness in my body that I only felt once before: when I took the boys myself to a local play space. I figured that I must be out of shape and Hubby didn't seem to care so much, thinking that I was just being a drama queen. Well, he feels the same way too now so it must be a virus. He apologized and now we're wondering if the boys felt that way too. Poor G-Dawg. Sore all over and here we're shoving anti-fungals down his throat.

Speaking of the play space, I set up an event there tomorrow and I'm wondering if I should take the boys. Hubby will be at a funeral (his best friend's brother died - very tragic) and I may want to get out of the house but J-Man was still not feeling well today. Day care said he wasn't himself and didn't have a fever but he was warm and blew chunks like I've never seen when I gave him pineapple tonight (admittedly the pieces were probably too big). That's the sucky thing about running a mom's group. Everyone else gets to play thing by ear but since I'm hosting, I kind of feel like I need to be there. Tomorrow should be interesting, I just hope the boy sleep okay (how many times have I said that?).

Thrush

2012-01-22T21:11:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 20 Months Old

The shenanigans continue with J-Man and G-Dawg taking turns keeping us up all night. J-Man has had no excuse. He only has a cough (although it seemed to be getting worse tonight). G-Dawg, as it turns out, has thrush. It's one of those things that I've heard of before but never really knew what it was. Apparently it's more common in babies and the elders. G-Dawg also has a throat infection which probably doesn't help the situation. He's ears are slightly red but nothing to worry about.

It had started yesterday. The first snow of the season was coming down (unless you count the unusual storm we in October). I left in the morning for my last massage at the spa (my masseuse will be making house calls instead). G-Dawg was cranky but had gone down for a nap. I stopped to get pizza since K and family were coming over. The pizza took longer than expected and when I as about 3 blocks away, I knew something was up when Hubby called to see how far away I was. J-Man was a whirlwind of tantrum and G-Dawg was upset.

We had a good time with K but G-Dawg needed to be held the whole time. He looked a little pale and had a slight fever. J-Man was coughing. K was probably wondering what we were doing having people over but I swear that things were not like this before the boys' nap when I invited her over. I get so used to them being sick that coughing and crankiness have become the new normal.

G-Dawg wouldn't sleep last night and was not himself. I was up late but as usual, Hubby was up later with G-Dawg since he has the patience of a saint. Our pediatrician's office is closed on Sunday so I called the pediatrician across the street and he fit us right in. What a difference it makes going to someone so close! What took a half hour there would have taken us a few hours at our regular pediatrician's office. I'm considering switching pediatricians again just for the convenience factor he isn't in every day of the week. What's funny is that the receptionist is in my mom's group and I'd met her before (although I didn't recognize her).

The pediatrician suggested seeing a pulminologist because of the coughing issues that G-Dawg's had. He doesn't think that an ENT would do anything since G-Dawg's ear infections tend to be related to coughing and congestion. I don't quite understand but I'll ask our regular pediatrician about it on Tuesday when the boys finally have their 18 month check-up (and they better be well for their shots because I can't stand going there anymore).

G-Dawg's had a terrible time pooping recently. We've been giving him both Miralax and Benefiber but he still struggles, sometimes for days, to get things out. The pediatrician said that he could feel that G-Dawg had a lot of poop in him and suggested giving him a suppository for 3 days to help clear him out and continue with the Miralax and Benefiber for 2 weeks until we see regular poops for 3 days in a row. He suggested we get his thyroid tested which I think that we've had done but I have to double-check.

Today I managed to look at a 3 bedroom apartment nearby. There are definitely pros to moving there but I'm a bit ambivalent because there's no where in walking distance. I've gotten spoiled having 3 parks and several restaurants that we can walk to.

As I type this, Hubby is diligently washing bottles. He cleans and dries out the bulb syringe that he tortured G-Dawg's little nose with such love. All this after being up all night and rocking G-Dawg to sleep. Hubby has become quite a fan of G-Dawg since today when G-Dawg would only sleep on his shoulder. What an amazing man he is.

No Rest for the Weary

2012-01-19T21:49:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 20 Months Old

Hubby and I wound up at the casino on our day off and didn't win anything. In fact, our trip was anti-climatic and we should have stuck to sleeping in and morning sex. Getting old Lady Luck to make an appearance is not so easy on just a few hours of sleep.

G-Dawg had been up the night before but his cough has progressively been getting better. After all of the frustration that I was having getting G-Dawg an appointment to check for an ear infection (how hard could it be to get someone to look in someone's ear?), I resorted to the Internet for medical advice.

Granted the Internet is for porn, not medical advice, but I was desperate and determined from my searching that garlic would a natural remedy for ear infections. Heck, it could scare away vampires so why not a virus? I could not find any garlic ear spray so I bought some garlic oil tablets from the vitamin store. You know when someone's eaten garlic. You can smell their breath from a mile away. All I could picture when I asked the store clerk for garlic ear spray was how he figured that I'd be walking around smelling like pesto and warding off all of the vampires in the tri-state area. In his head he was pleading with me not to smear any garlic in my ears until I left the store.

G-Dawg was spared of the garlic bath since the coughing has calmed down and last night he slept from 7:15 to 7, a fucking miracle given the fact that J-Man was making noises all night. Yes, it was J-Man's turn to torture myself and the Hubs.

It was 2:30am that J-Man first started shouting (although the Hubster swears that it was 4:30). I woke out of a drunen stupor. I was dreaming that we cloned G-Dawg and there was something very evil about his clone. Last night was a fun mom's night out and in an unusual act of gluttony, I had downed the remaining bottle of wine at home and took comfort in watching the season finale of The Big C on Demand. Waking up so early was no fun .This is what payback must feel like.

Hubby could not get J-Man to go back down, unlike the previous night where J-Man politely stood up, took a paci, then laid back down. Imagine my excitement when Hubby brought J-Man into bed. I had hopes of watching him peacefully sleep next to me. Instead, J-Man would only lay down if he was ON me. Literally. This is not the first time this has happened either. What kind of outrageous separation anxiety is going on here?

We moved from room to room, trying everything to get him to relax but he was hyper and cranky. We spent some time in the kitchen where I heard him try to say "banana" for the first time (G-Dawg said it the other day too - so cute). I let him open the cabinet and he grabbed a package of toddler Mum-Mums. "Ka-Ke," J-Man said. Another word! He knows his food! When Hubby tried to watch him and let me get some sleep, J-Man banged on the door and said "mama!" This mama business is new and I have to admit that I'm eating it up.

By 6am, I did something that I am super embarrassed about. I ran J-Man over to day care as soon as they opened (at 6:15) and demanded that they put him down for a nap. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Give him a nap early so that he could catch up.on sleep in the morning. I couldn't put him down at home because I had to work and G-Dawg was miraculously still sleeping.

The woman at day care seemed confused. She wanted to put him down in the play area but that area would be teaming with noise once the kids started trickling in. I asked that she put J-Man down in a crib in the nursery even though there is no one in the nursery that early. "Put him down or I take him somewhere else," I threatened.

Well, J-Man refused to nap until the regular nap time and I could tell that the girls must have been talking about me when we picked the boys up. Mom guilt. But seriously, what do stay at home moms do in these situations? There's no way I could take care of the boys after a night like that.

Despite all of this, I've been putting a lot of thought into seeing if I could work part time. Working from home doesn't cut it. I'm not able to spend any time with the boys on those days because taking them anywhere is a whole half day ordeal. J-Man thinks that I'm the most important person on earth and I don't want to waste this time with him.

G-Dawg does not feel the same way as J-Man. He remains aloof but does show some affection. When I wasn't looking, he apparently kissed some of my family this past weekend when they kissed him. Then one day last week I swear that he hugged me but he hasn't done it since (Hubby's been trying to teach him how to hug). Now sometimes when we're in the nursery before bed, he'll come up to me and put his head in my lap. He also loves resting his head on mine and Hubby's shoulder. I try to think of those thing when he cries when I pick him up from day care.

Thank God tomorrow is Friday!

Fabulous Weekend with MIL

2012-01-15T21:38:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 20 Months Old

So there is good news and there is bad news. I'll start with the bad news and get it out of the way. G-Dawg is still coughing. He woke up at 3:30 last night and had trouble getting back to sleep. Once he fell asleep in bed with us, he kept crying out. That's all. Enough with the negativity.

Then there's the good news. My MIL was here for the ENTIRE weekend. It was the first time that she'd visited in months and even though Hubby sort of guilted her into coming, we had a grand ole time.

Friday night was kind of a wash. I was itching to see a movie but the show times didn't cooperate and I was tired. I fell asleep in Hubby's arms for the first time in ages. At 9:30. And slept until 8:30 with only one brief interruption. And we had MORNING SEX. Yes, that's right. Sex in the morning. It seems like such a foreign concept. Luckily the boys can't quite open the door themselves yet. Oh the horror it will be when we can't even keep them from opening doors.

The day got even better. We got to see a matinee. Sure, there was a reason why The Artist was the only flick playing before noon. It appealed to all of the residents next door at the senior center. It was entertaining though and the $7 popcorn and giant soda were worth it. We returned and the boys were still napping.

Then Hubby's family came over and his aunt and mother pulled out nearly a truckload full of presents. I held my breath as we'd told them several times over that we don't want gifts for the boys, particularly new gifts. My mom's eyes nearly bulged out. All that she brought over were two mechanical bugs (which is fine, we really didn't want more) and failed to amuse even the cats. Toy after toy were presented to the boys as they ran from one end of the living room to the other in awe. I imagine that this is what Christmas morning would feel like.

I thought "Its' fine, we have the gift receipt, we can exchange for something that we need." Recently, I exchanged a wallet for a soda making machine (which is a life-changing piece of equipment I might add). To my dismay, Hubby's mom and aunt started opening everything up, removing items from their package one by one. Even this morning Hubby's mom took two things out of their package. Oy vey, we'll never be able to send all those Little People back home!

Now the pack and play has become our storage bin and now it's really going to fill up. My aunt asked what to get the boys for the holidays and I had her get a Little People garage that I saw on Amazon. The boys don't really bother with it. After sitting in our living room for about a week, I came to realize that the garage was oddly familiar and when I asked my mom about it, it turns out that I had the same garage growing up! I guess that the Little People have been around for a while.

We had a light dinner with the family and G-Dawg amused the crowd by repeating "I love you"! Despite all of our attempts, we couldn't get it on camera. That night we basically rushed the boys into bed and went out with some friends to the city. We went to this crazy Indian restaurant with decorations down to your nose. My friend K had missed out on throwing me a surprise for my birthday so I got the Indian themed version, complete with a half scoop of ice cream. Even the cheap wine that turned out to be like candy (8% alcohol) couldn't mess up that night.

G-Dawg was up half the night, perhaps from teething. One of his bottom molars is finally breaking through after been swollen all week. My MIL took over around 7:30 and Hubby and I slept. Afterwards, we tearfully sent her home. Our place is not the same without her.

Hubby and I took the boy to the children's museum after their nap and they had a blast. It was worth the $40 bill, however the place was kind of old and grungy and J-Man made a running leap into a toy and got his first boo boo. He handled it pretty well though.

Tomorrow is MLK and Hubby and I both have the day off. Day care is OPEN! We are super excited and may do some gambling. Or maybe some morning sex and a movie? The possibilities are endless!

G-Dawg's Bottom Molars and Twenty-Somethings

2012-01-11T14:48:00.000-05:00

The Boys are now TWENTY months old

My little guys aren’t teenagers anymore…they are venturing. Into. The twenty-somethings!

In preparation for the big occasion, G-Dawg started sprouting some bottom molars. We didn’t know it at first, though. On Saturday he had a 102 fever over and a bad case of the cranks. He also woke up two nights coughing. One albuterol treatment seemed to suffice and he was good for the rest of the day. Now that we’re using the mask, the albuterol seems to worry really well. He seems to like it or at least know that it helps him. He puts his face up to the mask and happily watches the Disney XD channel with us. We started him on Flovent a few weeks ago and I couldn’t help but wonder if that was preventing him from getting worse.

On Sunday, he broke out crying (for no reason) and lo and behold, while his was is wailing position, I saw one molar popping through and the other side was super swollen. For the first time, the Baby Orajel actually seemed to work and he stopped crying. His little lips smacked in relief.

I thought that was it. All this could be explained by the teething, right?

Wrong.

Yesterday the boys both started coughing. A lot. So did the teething trigger the fever and lower the immune system? Is the sickness not related to the teething? Is the asthma medication even helping? What was this fever all about? 102 is pretty damn high to be related to teething.

These boys better get well by their 18 month check-up (which has been delayed several times due to illness). Despite the fact that we took them in to get their shots the other week, they’re still behind on some shots and I don’t want to have to reschedule again.

Oh, and perhaps this will help G-Dawg chew better. He seems to be eating better now that he’s walking but he could definitely use the help. We’ve been taking advantage of a kid’s eat free deal at a local Mexican eatery and he enjoys the quesadillas. Sometimes he bites off pieces but when it shoves a big piece in his mouth, they’re a little difficult to chew and swallow!

Poor Kitty Update

2012-01-07T13:09:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 19 Months Old

Well, it's been over 2 months since I've blogged about our poor kitty, S. Barring expensive medical tests such as an ultrasound, we've tried just about everything but he does not seem to be responding to the treatment.

We had started off with 2 units of insulin twice a day and steadily increased that 5 units, the absolute max. At one point, he gained some weight back but he continued to urinate and drink water at an alarming rate. Our home tests showed that his sugar was still high with no keytones. A blood test confirmed the high sugar, however there was a slight trace of a potential kidney problem, something that we had not seen in his initial blood test when he was diagnosed.

Because it was a slight trace (I forget the exact details), we continued trying to treat him even when it looked like he was losing weight again. He stayed at the vet one day to monitor his glucose throughout the day to see how the insulin was effecting him and the vet (who has been fabulous in treating him and following up) even ran a urine culture pro bono to make sure that there wasn't an infection that was effecting the efficacy of the insulin, which there wasn't. S is now back on 3 units of insulin after the results of the monitoring showed that his insulin levels were not on a curve like they should be and he seems to have gained some weight back. Perhaps he was becoming hypoglycemic.

There's not much left to do now. We're operating under the assumption that S has some sort of kidney disease. We'll continue giving him this insulin and the wet food that him and our other kitty have come to enjoy. The vet says that he could live 6 months or another three years.

I'm sort of non-plussed about the situation. Either I'm in denial or I've just too wrapped up in other things to really think much of it at this point since S, aside from the drinking/urinating situation, is acting fine. I do feel like Hubby and I have done what we can. As much as S drives Hubby nuts with sleeping on top of him, walking all over our pillows, filling the litter boxes so quickly, and meowing in his face at night, he loves him and continues to take care of him. When I suggest that we put him down (half jokingly), Hubby says "no way, he's part of the family." So we'll continue what we've been doing and take S in for blood tests every 6 months and hope for the best.

I haven't told my mom yet. When she learned about S, she sent us a magazine with an article about strategies for diabetic cats and even highlighted some things. She did a ton of research too. She's a cat lover and may take it hard.

I tried to find some recent pictures of S but I can't seem to find any. I'm always focusing on taking pictures of the boys and he of course avoids them, knowing that he will be poked and pulled at. I'll need to make a point to take some pictures of the old man while he's still looking and feeling okay.

Big Boy Table and Chairs, Coloring, and Sitting Everywhere

2012-01-07T12:24:00.001-05:00

The Boys are 19 Months Old

We spent our New Years Eve at Ikea and picked up a table and chairs set for our big boys. J-Man has figured out how to get in and out of the chairs and I'm encouraging him to do his coloring (i.e. crayon banging) on the table. So far, most of the crayon is on the furniture but not in the coloring book. I have to figure out how to get the crayon marks out of the table (magic eraser perhaps?) although I'm debating leaving the marks for decoration. A badge of honor so to speak that my J-Man is excited to start coloring.

I haven't used the feeding chairs in a couple of days. It's so nice not to have to lift them up and strap them in. Now they can get in and out of the chairs without much of a fuss. No tantrum about being strapped in or wanting some other prize that's on our dining room table. The trays don't need to be cleaned either, just the table needs to be wiped down.

My hips are thanking me for sure. They've been killing me recently and I'm doing my best not to pick up the boys. I hold their hands and walk them everywhere instead of carrying them. I change them on the floor. And now we have this table and chairs set.

The set comes at a good time because J-Man has recently taken a liking to sitting in or on things: the stool, the push toy, the stroller, the basket that we keep the diapers in.

He's recently developed a particular fondness for sitting in my twin breastfeeding pillow. I guess that that thing has some use after all. I'd like to get them a cozy toddler chair. I can't believe how much stuff we're accumlating for them and wish that there were some things that I could purge!

GDAWG. IS. WALKING!!

2012-01-06T21:57:00.001-05:00

The Boys are 19 Months Old

As of Wednesday, January 4th,G-Dawg is officially a "functional ambulator"! We had noticed last weekend that he was standing unassisted more frequently but imagine my shock when I walked into day care on Wednesday and saw him walking around. My mouth dropped open.

The caregiver there was so proud of him and said that he had been walking around all day. That night, he did a floor to standing transfer and since then, I've barely seen the boy crawl. He can even turn in different directions, do a running walk, and do a floor to standing transfer using only one hand.

Hubby and I can't help but stare in amazement every time he walks by us. I guess that G-Dawg just decided that it was time. 2012 is his year.

The PT conducted the bi-annual questionnaire evaluation and G-Dawg came in at a 15 month level for gross motor skills. G-Dawg has met the main goal that we had for him: walking. He thinks that G-Dawg could still use PT so to make sure that he wasn't disqualified out of EI, the numbers had to be skewed slightly. It was music to my ears to hear him say that over the next 6 months that we can see how he progresses and go from there. The main goal now is to get him to an age appropriate level.

What to work on next? Walking with heavy objects, reaching down from independent standing to pick up objects, and continue getting G-Dawg to walk up and down inclines and obstacles. I'd like to get G-Dawg to be able to get onto the toddler chairs and the couch by himself. When he wants to go up onto the couch, he looks at me and raises his leg a bit like he's a dog that's about to pee. Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot that we can do besides show him how to use a stool and getting on the couch will come once his legs start to get stronger from the walking (even J-Man still isn't so competent when it comes to getting on the couch).

G-Dawg's friend Z is right behind him. He took 19 steps recently. Those boys are going to be running around together in no time!

A few times the caregivers at day care have asked how to get our PT to see a girl that's in the nursery. I only found out today that she's 19 months old! She's crawling but not walking. I wish I could get our PT to work with her. He's absolutely wonderful and the girls at day care are always raving about him. Hubby and I agree that G-Dawg may get there on his own but would be much further behind if it weren't for him.

As far as the other areas are concerned, G-Dawg test higher than his last evaluation by the PT in all areas except for expressive language. 9 months was where he was at before (about 5 months ago), 9 months was where he was at the other week for his speech evaluation, and 9 months is where he remains. The new speech therapist starts next week so not I'm getting anxious to get that started!

On the bright side, G-Dawg tested at an 18 month level for cognitive skills. I'm so proud of him!

Speech Therapy It Is

2012-01-03T14:36:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 19 Months Old

G-Dawg had his speech evaluation last week. I was hoping that given all of the words that he says that he wouldn’t qualify for services but he does. Based on the assessment, he is at a 9 month level for expressive language and a 14 month level for receptive.

My heart sank when I read that he rated at a 9 month level for expressive. I felt really defeated like we can never do enough for him and we’ll be catching up for such a long time. The evaluator told us not to pay attention to the number because it’s based on the fact that G-Dawg does not make many consonant sounds.

G-Dawg does make consonant sounds, at least in my opinion. His “bye-bye” is pretty clear now. I suppose that he should be making more and a lot of his babble when she was there was more like oohing and aahing. I think that I’ve heard him babble in more of a nuanced fashion but for whatever reason, my brain can’t remember. It’s terrible that I see him every day and don’t know my son well enough to answer some simple questions.

The evaluator confirmed that G-Dawg has oral hypotonia. Why this took so long to diagnose and treat is beyond me. We’ve seen so many doctors and the only place it’s come up is the speech assessment he had done a few months ago where the therapist said that we didn’t have to get speech therapy right away if we didn’t want to.

I’m putting together a calendar – a year in review calendar of the boys – which I’m really excited about. I’ve been going through hundreds of pictures. When I got to the 10 month old pictures, G-Dawg was frowning in every shot. I remember that I was frustrated that he looked so unhappy. Now I realize that his mouth posture even back then may have been a result of his low tone. Nowadays, he always makes this long face. It’s like he’s opening his mouth and lowering his bottom lip and jaw. I call it his “ugly face” but don’t say that to anyone lest they judge me for having a negative comment about my own son. It is kind of ugly though. I love him anyways and don’t think that HE is ugly, just the face that he makes.

When I demonstrated G-Dawg’s use of a straw, the evaluator pointed out how he sips from the back of his mouth. She suggested that we cut out the sippies (not that G-Dawg uses anything but the Born Free sippies anyway which have a plastic mouthpiece and are kind of like cheating anyway). Now we’re switching to straw cups. Not only that, but she suggested we cut the tips of the straws to force G-Dawg to use the muscles in the front of his mouth. The boys have hard time with straw sippy cups because they’re always trying to tilt them upwards. The woman at the day care this morning said she’d work with G-Dawg and I’m hoping that she’s successful. I had just found these NUK sports sippies that the boys seem to take to but I guess we’ll have to consider switching to straw cups if this works.
Some other suggestions included massaging G-Dawg’s mouth muscles and putting my finger on my lips when saying words with consonants.

In addition to speech therapy, the evaluator suggested that G-Dawg go back to getting DI once a week. We had scaled back to once a month, although we weren’t great about keeping up with it. I’m torn. On the one hand, I don’t think that he needs it – he hands me things, he points, he waves, he puts items in a bucket and can stack one thing on top of another. He even knows the meaning of “hi”, “bye”, and “open”, although I’m not sure that the evaluator was convinced of that. On the other hand, G-Dawg does seem baby-like and when I see other kids his age, he really does seem younger (in his behavior). The only thing that makes me feel better about all of this is the fact that she said that “G-Dawg has some good skills”.

So here we are, going from two therapies a week to THREE therapies a week. I’ve been pretty good about attending G-Dawg’s PT sessions but am resigned to picking one to go to every week, perhaps speech since that is the one that I’m least familiar with. I failed to mention to our coordinator that Hubby started a new job. With his salary, our co-pay would be so high that we wouldn’t be able to afford it.

Oh, and they suggested that we have J-Man re-evaluated too since he only says 5 words. *sigh*.

Happy 2012!

2011-12-31T22:00:00.001-05:00

The Boys are 19 Months Old

In just a few hours, I will no longer be able to say that the boys were "born last year". It will be the "year before last". Before you know it, it will be "a few years ago". Whoever said that the days go by slow but the years fly by is so right.

I was reading some blog posts from this time last year. The boys were a mere 7 months old! They were about 20 lbs and about a half a lb apart (they are about 26 lbs now and still a half a lb apart). I had just talked to the pediatrician about my concerns with G-Dawg not rolling over and she had told me that he'd be rolling by 9 months. I had talked about how J-Man acts so much older.

It's funny how things change but stay so very much the same. G-Dawg is way past rolling but still behind physically. We now know that he has congenital benign hypotonia and asthma. J-Man continues to present as older than G-Dawg (not in terms of looks but behavior). Just today I asked him for a kiss and he put his face up against mine. Then he nabbed a book out of my hands and pretended to read it to me (no words, just babble). G-Dawg periodically circled his arms around and around as if we were singing The Wheels on the Bus. He didn't do it while we were actually singing the song though. The woman that evaluated him for speech says that he does that to get a positive reaction since we do act happy when we sing the song.

Last year this time, my worries about autism were emerging and I would soon be staying up all hours scouring the Internet for any information that I could find that would explain G-Dawg's behavior. Now I just think that he's an odd fellow. I'm concerned about learning disabilities later in life but I don't drive myself nuts about autism.

This was the first full year that my grandmother was not with me. One time when I was thinking about her, my laptop screen lit up unexpectedly from across the room. I couldn't help but think that she was there, knowing that I was thinking about her. Now when that happens (I recently got a new work laptop so not sure if that will happen again), I think about her.

What I wouldn't give for my grandmother to see the boys. I'd love it for her to see J-Man running down the hall in his cute pajamas or getting tickled and buckling with laughter. G-Dawg would melt her heart with his smiles and his belly pointing. I'm so grateful that she got to meet the boys but she never got to know them.

2010 was a year of transition and 2011 a year of stabilization. I think that 2012 will be the year when we start to come together as a family. This year we'll be able to talk to the boys and get hugs and kisses from them. We'll be able to cuddle them and watch a good movie with them on the couch. Maybe they'll even start crawling into bed with us. Hubby will settle in in his new job. The boys will establish relationships with our friend's children, perhaps lifelong relationships. This year, 2012, will definitely be a great year.

More Lights are Turning On

2011-12-29T15:30:00.001-05:00

The Boys are 19 Months Old

The other day, I asked J-Man to hand G-Dawg some Cheerios. He did although he tried shoving them in G-Dawg's mouth! Imagine my disbelief when he followed my instructions!

Ever since, I've been asking J-Man to do things....

"Sit in Mommy's lap, J-Man," I'll say. J-Man will sit in my lap.

"J-Man, hand the Elmo doll to G-Dawg." J-Man will hand the Elmo doll to G-Dawg.

"J-Man, hand Elmo to Mommy." J-Man will pick up the Elmo doll and run around the room with it.

"Come here and put your jacket on". J-Man will run in the opposite direction! He hates having his jacket put on but loves shoes and socks time. He'll even try to put my shoes on.

J-Man will point to his nose and mouth when you ask him to. He even knows where his feet are.

One of the caregivers at day care she said that J-Man is understanding a lot more lately. She confirmed that he says "ball", something that I heard him say the other day (that brings the count up to 4 words: uh-oh, bubble, ball, and "all done"). She also thinks that he'll start talking a lot more soon. I'm excited but nervous! Is it time to start watching what we say?

Hubby and I love one of the sets of twin girls in the class. A&E just turned 2 and they are super cute and friendly. They run into my lap and Hubby swings them up in the air every time he sees them. Whenever Hubby and I pick the boys up, they go to grab them and bring them to us.They've taken a liking to G-Dawg in particular and dote on him. G-Dawg doesn't walk all that much and apparently they've been holding his hand and walking him around! Also, apparently G-Dawg won't let J-Man walk him around although if J-Man tried, I would be shocked.

The boys don't pay much attention to eachother unless they're stealing food or toys. Sometimes J-Man will run or crawl after G-Dawg and they'll both laugh in delight. Those are the best moments.

We went to my aunts the other day and she has a door that leads to the bedrooms in her apartment. We closed the door so that the boys couldn't get to the rooms and G-Dawg threw a pitiful tantrum. He stood up at the door and shouted "opa! opa!", meaning "open". I was so proud of my little G who clearly knows the meaning of open.

What a pain in the ass it is taking the boys anywhere that's not entirely baby-proofed. As much as I'd like to leave the boys at my aunt's for a day so that she can see what we go through, I think that I'll keep them places that at least have outlet covers!

Goodbye Tooth and HPV

2011-12-29T15:09:00.001-05:00

The Boys are 19 Months Old

It's the holiday break and I haven't gotten a whole lot accomplished nor have I relaxed very much. It's a bit perplexing how the time just slips away.

Hubby has gone into work but is not happy about it. He had taken off but after I found out that he wouldn't be getting paid time off, I suggested that he go in. After not having his salary for a few months, I thought it only the logical thing to do but now I've spent most of the week alone and he's been sick and miserable. On the bright side, we've discovered a new show, Homeland, that we're having fun watching.

I've had a few doctors appointments. My temporary crown fell out while eating a bagel one morning. It's been replaced by a permanent crown that will be cemented in the new year when my insurance resets. The situation was fairly innocuous as the tooth opening was sealed, however I'm sure the experience will fuel more nightmares over the coming years.

Ironically, I had a dream the night before the tooth fell out that the two owners of the local falafal shop were performing some dental work on me. That must have scared the tooth out of my mouth. Or maybe it was the cost of the work, which in hindsight I would not have done but I guess that I wasn't thinking logically when I was at the dentist's office. I'm still really pissed off about it.

I had my annual exam today and according to test results from my pap a few months ago and the one from last year, my HPV is gone! Well, perhaps it's just hibernating but now I can move on from having multiple paps a year and worrying about cervical cancer. Very exciting!!

I saw a new GYN this time. As it turns out, my GYN is out on bedrest and is pregnant with twins. I wish I went the week previous so I could talk to her about it. I really liked the GYN that I saw. Ever since my mid-twenties I've been avoiding male GYNs but he was easy to talk to. He told me that my c-section scar is low but looks good. I don't think it looks very good, especially after finding out that K's scar has faded while mine is raised and purplish. Based on his assessment, it sounds like it could have been worse.

He asked why I had a c-section and thinks that there's no reason why I couldn't have tried for a vaginal birth. He thinks that younger doctors just don't feel comfortable delivering twins and that the risk of brain bleeding is low. Recently I've been coming to terms with the loss of having the chance at a natural birth but this brings all of my feelings back. I never did call the doctor that delivered the boys to see why a c-section was the way to go. I feel like there's a limitation on when I can call and ask her about that, especially because the other doctor in the practice saved my pregnancy. I don't know why I can't just let it go.

The Holidays 2011

2011-12-26T12:35:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 19 Months Old

I think that having kids has changed my perspective about the holidays. I used to be a big scrooge. Growing up, my grandmother constantly reminded me that I was Jewish and that Christmas was not our holiday. That was fine during the years that we celebrated Hanukkah with our family. As I got older, those celebrations went away (why I'll never know) and despite my nagging, I never had a real Christmas tree. Christmas day was always kind of boring with no real presents to open. My aunt had a party but it was with her friends, not family.

So Christmas has always been an annoying time of year. Whenever someone asks me about the holidays I give them a snide "I don't celebrate".

While we didn't get a tree or buy the boys presents or go caroling around the neighborhood, I do think that I've lightened up a bit. Not only did I host a holiday party but I celebrate Hanukkah with some friends. K had a Hanukkah party at her apartment and I ran to the drug store at the last minute to get some presents for the kids. They were actually better than the presents than we got from our friends (chocolates and plastic cups with menorahs on them) but I really enjoyed buying and exchanging the gifts.

Yesterday, we delved way out of our realm and went to a Hanukkah party at a local temple. Hubby even wore a yamaka. We took the boys to the park briefly on an unseasonably warm day and then K and her husband and daughter came over and we got some Chinese food and goodies from a local bakery. We had a fun time, much better than the sitting at home and doing nothing that we used to do.

K and family got a feel for J-Man's tantrums. He was non-stop until he got a bottle. I've taught him how to sign for "milk" and he can do that but he still thinks the sign is for "want". I had no idea that he wanted the bottle.

They also got to see J&G debut some new pants. I had bought them these legging type pants a few months ago which are super adorable. Hubby thinks that they look like tights. I think that I need a different shirt to make the outfits go well but I'm not giving up on them. J-Man also debuted his Diesel jeans which are now only a little too big on him I would think that Diesel clothes would run small but they seem like they may fit a 24 month old better (they are sized 18 months). It's still kind of cute to see J-Man's diaper sticking out of the back.

Finally, the day care had a holiday party and took a picture of the boys with Santa. I was stupidly the only parent that was there waiting for Santa, not realizing that they were already taking the pictures for us. I had re-arranged my day around it and taken the bus back and forth when I forgot my camera so boy did I feel stupid.

When Santa didn't show up on time, I left my camera there. Amazing, they got the best Christmas card worthy photograph that I could ask for!! I cannot look at this picture without laughing hysterically.

BENIGN Congenital Hypotonia!

2011-12-22T21:56:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 19 Months Old

G-Dawg's genetic tests came back negative!!! After months of waiting to draw blood from the little guy, we finally can rule out a wide variety of genetic abnormalities.

The Genetics department called us at about 6pm tonight to tell us the news before the holidays. Hubby and I were so excited to get the news so much sooner than expected.

The counselor mentioned that there was a "minor metabolic variation". Several of the doctors looked at it and didn't have any concerns. The main geneticist will review it when she returns from vacation. Googling "metabolic variation" only comes up with results in lingo that I cannot comprehend. We tried to call back to see if this was an actual genetic test or the result of a thyroid test but we couldn't get through because they had closed at 5pm - they had called us after hours to tell u the good news. I'm not going to worry about the metabolic result. If they're not worried then neither am I.

The end result is that we can now classify G-Dawg's condition as "benign congenital hypotonia" and stop worrying about if there's an underlying cause.

Today was my last day of work for 2011 and with this news, it's been a good day!

Toy Snatching

2011-12-22T21:42:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 19 Months Old

It's no secret that J-Man enjoys snatching toys and food and pretty much everything away from G-Dawg. In fact, J-Man's been taking delight in this activity for quite some time. Whenever something is pulled away from G-Dawg, J-Man looks over at me with a knowing sly grin. G-Dawg defends his toys but often loses. I defend his toy but often lose. I don't have the energy to fight.

It came as a bit of a shock to me that J-Man snatches things away from G-Dawg and ONLY G-Dawg at day care. It's a problem that's been on my mind ever since I learned about it earlier this week.

My precious but assertive J-Man is BULLYING his sweet big brother who does absolutely nothing to instigate anything. G-Dawg minds his own business and never really bothers anyone unless he wants milk, a toy, or a lift to get on the bed. And even then he's relatively polite. Yet J-Man treats him this way and even pushes him out of my lap and cries when I give attention to G-Dawg.

What to do? I didn't realize that this type of problem would start so young and before they can even talk I feel so perplexed. Is J-Man too young for time-outs? Should I ignore the behavior and let the two of them work it out like my mom suggests? I know that Hubby and I have to stick to a plan and be consistent about it.

I worry about when they get older. Those boys really have nothing in common except for the fact that they shared a womb. I really hope that they get along and look out for each other when they get older. I really hope that they'll compliment each other.

The Ambulator

2011-12-22T16:52:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 19 Month Old

The dictionary defines the term "ambulator" as the following:

Am´bu`la`tor- One who walks about; a walker.

According to the PT, kids are considered ambulators once they're able to get into a standing position on their own.

I am happy and excited to report that G-Dawg is VERY close to becoming an ambulator!

The other night, Hubby and I were spending time with the boys in the nursery as we usually do right before putting them to bed. Hubby had his back turned to the boys and was messing with the humidifier when all of a sudden, G-Dawg goes from his crawling position to a squatting position in an attempt to push his body up and stand on his legs.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I said to Hubby "Look! Quick! Look at G-Dawg!".

Before G-Dawg had a chance to stand up, Hubby exclaimed "WOW, little buddy, what are you doing G-Dawg?!" Immediately G-Dawg toppled over, shocked and surprised by Hubby's reaction.

That was it. No standing up for us since. However G-Dawg saw the PT the other day and he stood on his own when the PT was in front of him!

We bought a $100 gift card for the PT for the holidays. He can get G-Dawg to do things that we never can and I am so grateful for all that he's done with G-Dawg.

G-Dawg continues to crawl everywhere but I noticed that when we do get him to walk, his legs are closer together. The PT says that he sees this happen often where kids can walk but prefer to crawl. G-Dawg's also standing on his own on occasion and getting more comfortable on his two legs.

Slowly but surely! And now G-Dawg has to catch up with another milestone that J-Man just hit: jumping! J-Man squats down and then pops back up. No doubt he learned that in day care!

Doctors and Picture with Santa

2011-12-18T15:26:00.001-05:00

The Boys are 19 Months Old

After a lovely holiday lunch with my mom's group, organized by yours truly (and friend K), I have some time to write while the boys are passed out for hopefully another hour.

I have not had time to write this week because I've been passed out myself. I've been hit with a sore throat and conjunctivitis. I had some weird pinched nerve pain one night and a headache a few other nights. J-Man and Hubby seem to be on the mend (they're on anti-biotics). Despite Hubby's worst fears, neither of them appear to be victims of whooping cough. G-Dawg's cough has come back but his lungs sounded clear on Friday and he's been sleeping okay so hopefully it's just short term.

Hubby's mom was supposed to visit this weekend but isn't because we didn't want to get her sick. I'm disappointed because she went to our holiday lunch last year and this was almost going to be like a tradition.

We've run the gamut of doctors this week. First, we took G-Dawg to the allergist. When we picked him and J-Man up from day care, Hubby and I encountered the most horrific of all horror shows one with kids can encounter: a room full of coughing toddlers. 17 toddlers in a small enclosed area coughing in each others faces. Hubby and I didn't even say goodbye. We grabbed the boys and ran as if there were a trail of germs hot on our tail.

At the allergist, G-Dawg tested negative to all allergies, including ragweed, cats, dogs, pollen, mold, and peanuts. It was good to hear that none of these things were triggering G-Dawg's asthma, however before we had time to celebrate, the doctor assured us that allergies can pop up at any time. Thanks for the pep talk, doc.

The allergist wrote us a prescription for Flovent, which is administered through a fast-acting inhaler. It comes in on Monday and I hope that the mask they ordered is small enough for the boys' faces. I'm so hopeful that it works properly because Hubby and I just don't have the time or bandwidth to nebulize both of them twice a day. We never do it consistently enough for the steroids to build up in their system either. When I'm at the doctor and they tell me how important it is to give them their Pulmicort, I feel like a bad parent for not giving them their treatments but even Hubby says that the treatments are unrealistic.

At the pediatrician's office, the boys were exposed to many other germs while waiting for our appointment. G-Dawg and I got some eye drops for the conjunctivitis and J-Man got antibiotics for his cough. The doctor hopes the Flovent works also but approves. We're hoping that we can bring the boys in for their MMR and flu shot (J-Man only) next week so that we don't get kicked out of day care. There always seems to be something in the way of them getting their shots.

G-Dawg had his follow-up with the neurologist. We got a clean bill of health - no worries about autism, good eye contact, come back when he's 2 and let her know the results of the genetic testing. She thinks that he'll catch up although there's no saying what learning disabilities, if any, that we'll see when he's school aged.

G-Dawg's getting better at walking but really isn't walking much these days, at least on his feet. He's not walking on his calves, something that I recall J-Man doing for a while. The PT says that its not unusual for kids to get stuck in limbo where they can walk but choose not to.

Whenever G-Dawg is in our bedroom, he wants to get on the bed and lifts his leg up like he's a dog going to pee, says "eh", and cries when you don't give him a lift to go on the bed. Now that's TWO toddlers that I have that want to get up on the couches and bed but are not able to on their own! G-Dawg's also driving Hubby and I crazy with his Ball Popper toys. As soon as we walk in the door, he's at the ball popper for long stretches of time and I swear that all the music on that thing is the same. If only these toys could also be CD players and play whatever tunes you choose. Now the damn machine is running out of batteries and the batteries cost as much as the toy!

For the holidays, my mom bought the boys two more toys. One toy that's also a ball popper but not as good and for 9 month olds and a laptop for 3 year olds. You can't tell that woman not to buy for them!

Speaking of holidays, despite my intention to be secular this time of year, I couldn't help but take the boys to a "breakfast with Santa". There are so many activities time of year, it's hard to keep up. I felt left out of all the activities so I gave in. Santa didn't like the idea of having two screaming toddlers in his lap at once so we got a picture of all four of us sitting around Santa. It sounded like a good idea at the time but now I notice that most picture are of kids with Santa without the parents. Oh well, we got some good ones, including a pic of G-Dawg looking at Santa with a huge grin on his face.

I'm not looking forward to this next week. I'm busy at work and agreed to trek in tomorrow for a potluck. Hubby's starting his new job as well. Really all I want to do is bury myself under the covers and take a nice, long nap.

Still no Sleep, More Steps, Geneticist, Eyes, Teeth, and Life Insurance

2011-12-11T12:13:00.001-05:00

The Boys are 19 Months Old (Today)

Crap! I haven't blogged in a week? The say is true that the days go so slow but the weeks and years go by quickly.

G-Dawg seems to have fully recovered from his cough, making me think that perhaps he doesn't have cough-variant asthma. He's definitely been sleeping better, although that doesn't stop him from waking up on occasion, upset from constipation, teething, or some other allusive toddler nighttime problem. I've come to think of night wakings (and inconsolable crying) to be par for the course, however the more that I talk to friends with kids, the more that I feel alone in this situation.

J-Man has had his fair share of night wakings recently too. Now HE has something that's bothering his throat. I suppose that it's lucky that it's only at night, but at least if it were during the day it would warrant a visit to the doctor or some sort of medication to clear it up quickly. I used to be anti-meds and now I can't wait to give them to get some sleep.

I thought that by this age kids slept through the night with only the occasional waking. I thought that Hubby and I would be sleeping in the same bed by this time. I thought that I would have enough rest to be productive at work. How long do we have to wait? My pregnant friends must be scared shitless about having two waking up at night. With singletons, they seem so oddly well-rested.

At some point during the week, we had separated the boys and G-Dawg slept in the pack-in-play in our room so that J-Man's wild roar wouldn't wake him up in the middle of the night. The course of events is a blur even a few days after things happen and I'm left wondering what I'd do without Hubby and why I'm so out-of-my-mind exhausted even though Hubby does all of the work

One day last week, I nobly went into to pat J-Man on the back and give him a paci after he woke up. He would not go back to sleep and shouted at the top of his lungs every time I tried to put him back. Eventually, we let him stay up and he excitedly ran around in circles like he knew he was getting away with something. After an hour, we let him cry it out and got about 3 hours of sleep that night.

I suppose that there's some good news. G-Dawg walked over 200 steps at his PT session. I wasn't there but am told that he didn't even reach out for anything! He continues to primarily crawl at home.

The boys did have conjunctivitis but luckily it was very minor and cleared up on its own in a few days.

Hubby took G-Dawg to the geneticist and at long last, they were able to get the blood samples that they needed. We'll get the results in 4-6 weeks, hopefully ruling out any genetic disorders. The geneticist said something interesting. Being that she's studied genetics, she looks for similarities and differences in families and noticed that G-Dawg gets a lot of his features from Hubby, including his chin. Looking at the both of them, I think that that's probably true. I still don't think that he bears a striking resemblance to either of us though.

For the past few weeks, I've had a feeling in my eye like there's a piece of dirt in there and it's particularly bad when I lay down and at night. After doing an evil Google search, I was convinced that I had a corneal ulcer or that my eyes were permanently damaged. I hesitated telling Hubby, who was afraid that I would have complications from the LASIK surgery.

As it turns out, my eyes are fine. The flaps have healed and there are no ulcers to be found. My eyes had been sore lately and I had pulled out most of my lashes and used some eyeliner to fill in the missing lashes. Apparently my pores were clogged and the eye surgeon had me scrub them with baby shampoo. He also gave me a prescription eye drop but since cleaning my eyes, the problem has cleared up! I feel like a fool for not thinking to clean my eyelids but was afraid that I'd do more damage. The eye surgeon did say that he doesn't think that the issue is related to my pulling at my lashes and that this would cause dry eye in the future. I had liked the surgeon the first few times that I met him but didn't like the way that he talked to me. His face when he was telling me about the dry eye stays with me.

Also in between a busy work week and sleepless nights I found out that one of my old crowns has come lose and the two teeth around it have cavities. The dentist quoted me $700 to re-do the root canal and install a post, but when it was done, the price tag was $1K because the insurance company had already paid to have the cavities filled and I was out of benefits for the year. I'll have the permanent crown put on in January when my benefits renew but the total cost will come to $1480! Who can afford this?

I was so mad and tired that Hubby nearly took the boys to my moms that night. I wanted to be alone. It took some convincing but Hubby agreed to stay and set up the air purifier in the bedroom and set it on high so I could sleep uninterrupted. And I did. Until 8:30am! I was still tired, though, and slept late again today
thanks to Hubby. Now that I'm caught up, it's time to go back to work.

Being that I have two totally innocent and defenseless little human beings under my care, I signed up for life insurance; the max amount of life insurance available. Little did I know that a physical would be required. After falling off of the wagon several weeks ago, I put it off until the last minute. A home drug test came out negative. Let's hope that this does too! For some reason, I'm not too stressed. I have a feeling that I'll pass. It seems a bit silly that a mother of twin toddlers would have to worry about something like a drug test. It makes me feel like a reckless teenager.

GDAWG.IS.WALKING!!

2011-12-04T20:39:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 18 Months Old

Wow. My next post was going to be entitled "Out with the Exersaucer, In with the Baby Gates", but there is news that trumps these other things. On Friday I got a call from the day care. G-Dawg was independently taking steps across the room. Caregivers were clapping and VERY excited! G-Dawg had done this periodically at home but not to this extent.

Today I got some friends together. By some miracle, both of my pregnant friends were able to make it and sat next to each other. All of a sudden I heard them screaming and hugging and I knew that they had told each other the news! I think that K is now over E not inviting her to her party. What I hadn't thought about before is that they'll be on maternity leave at the same time. Okay, so that part makes me a tad bit envious.

K found out that she's having another girl. After the tech saying that he saw a little dingaling at around 11 weeks, we were all convinced that she was having a boy but we were all wrong. E spent some time telling K that determination of girls can be wrong, but it's most likely a girl. My guessing streak has been over since a co-worker friend of mine had a boy recently.

Afterwards, we took the boys to the park where G-Dawg purposefully let go of my hand and walked almost EIGHTY steps!! On a grassy incline!!! I excitedly texted his PT who is getting a BIG holiday gift (even though I don't usually give gifts). G-Dawg always happily looks back at us to see our reaction and even claps for himself sometimes. It never gets old watching him walk.

Just this morning, Hubby said that he thought that we are turning a corner with the boys' development. I think that he's right. When I ask the boys where their belly is, they lift their shirts up and point to their belly. Cutest thing ever! I think that they understand a whole lot more than we give them credit for. This past week, J-Man has become a better eater and eats with a fork (especially at dinner) and G-Dawg has said more word approximations like "hippo".

Not everything is getting easier, though. Going out to eat with the boys is no longer very pleasurable. In fact, it's work. Yesterday we took them to my friend's holiday party and we spent the whole time chasing or preventing the boys from climbing up the stairs (an obsession of theirs). G-Dawg complained and J-Man either tantrumed or squealed with delight the entire time that we were there. We got there early so when most of the guests started arriving, we headed out. Hubby was really disappointed, but we got home in time to put the boys to sleep at a normal hour and passed out from exhaustion. J-Man ate up the eggplant parm which made me very happy.

Our place looks a little empty without the exersaucer, though. We kept it for a while because G-Dawg liked pulling up on it but it was time to let it go. Because the kitchen is a huge source for J-Man's tantrums, we broke down and Hubby installed gates at both ends of the kitchen. One of the gates has a door that is so difficult to open that I swear that it's there to prevent ME from going in and snacking. I've since become adept at using the kitchen without actually going into the kitchen - by reaching in the window and over the gates. The cats have even coped by finding ways to jump in. Whoever designed the gate with the swinging door forgot to make a way to keep the door open for when the kids are asleep!

Speaking of sleep, G-Dawg slept through the night the past 3 nights with only one quick wake-up thanks to a trip to the allergist. The night before I was supposed to take him to the allergist, G-Dawg's persistent cough took a turn for the worse. I was so pissed off and exhuasted that when he wouldn't sleep that I was ready to give him up for adoption. The allergist wouldn't conduct the scratch tests (we have to go back), but luckily he's an asthma expert and was able to evaluate G-Dawg, who had an ear infection and a tight cough. More Albuterol, Orapred, and Amoxiccilin for him. G-Dawg slept like a baby for the first time in weeks. And thank God, because Hubby was at our rental house overnight, making repairs (that's a whole other story).

About a month or so ago, the pediatrician said that G-Dawg had a slight ear infection and gave us a prescription for antibiotics, saying to give them to him if he starts pulling on his ear. Well, the pulling never happened and neither did a fever. Hubby and I are annoyed with ourselves for not just treating him right away. All of those sleepless nights wondering if G-Dawg was hungry, constipated, bothered by his coughing, or teething (I saw the bottom two next to the middle start breaking through today and there are two molars slowly coming in). It must have been the ear infection! I wonder if this treatment will clear up his cough completely or he really does have cough-variant asthma.

Despite the wonderful past three days, I remain exhausted. I have some new responsibilities at work which I'm happy about. I'll be working with a very close friend of mine who is stretched thin but I'm worried that I'll disappoint her. I have appointments for G-Dawg's genetic testing tomorrow, I may have to take him to the doctor because his eyes look gray and he may have conjunctivitis. I have to get a potential cavity looked at tomorrow, schedule G-Dawg's PT sessions, take him to the allergist, and get my annual exam. When is there time for work??

Hubby's time as a self-employed man are sadly coming to an end. He starts a new job mid-December and things will get even more complex then. I use the term "sadly" with a grain of salt. I'm so VERY grateful that he was able to find something so quickly, and at a better salary than his last job with a small signing bonus. I am relieved to have two incomes again and extremely excited that his commute is only 6 miles away. But I'm sad that he'll be putting his dream of creating a mobile game on hold to go back into the corporate world, working at a job that he may not really enjoy. Maybe when the boys are older and we're not paying for day care he can try again.

We had talked recently about getting a new car next summer but now that Hubby has to drive to work, we may be looking sooner than we thought. The question is do we get a small beater car just for his commute or do we get something bigger and nicer that allows us to stretch our legs out. Basically, do we move up our purchase of a nicer car to this year? My pregnant friends, both with SUVS are thinking that they need something bigger! It's laughable really, how they don't think that they'll manage yet we do very well with our compact car (despite the legroom issue). They want to be able to sit in back with the kids. Pfft...Americans! I rented a Kia Soul this week for work and now I'm thinking that it would fit us really well. The thought of buying anything, though, with all of the expenses we have right now is unimaginable!

Another Baby and Egg Allergy

2011-11-28T22:26:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 18 Months Old

Imagine my shock when not 24 hours after K told me that she was pregnant and due in May than our mutual friend E told me that she's due with their second child in May too! Well, I use the word "told" loosely. She brought me a holiday card and anxiously told me to open it. When I didn't catch on, she told me to actually read it. "New Year...New Addition E, J, R, & ..."!!! In the picture, her daughter is holding a sign that says "Guess who's going to be a BIG SISTER?" Hilarious!

I'm bursting at the seams to hear what their conversation will be like when they find out that each other is expecting their second at the same time (their firsts are about a month apart). I'm going to try to get them together next weekend because they wouldn't otherwise normally see each other. K is hurt that E didn't invite her to her husband's birthday party. She had smuggled Cuban cigars in for a present expecting an invitation. E had mentioned the party and now K feels "uninvited". I wasn't invited but I'm not friends with her husband so I wasn't expecting it.

In other news, the boys went back to day care this week after a week-long Thanksgiving holiday hiatus. I picked J-Man up early so that he could get tested for allergies. G-Dawg didn't seem to care very much that I was there and blindly walked indoors with one of the caregivers when it was time to go inside, not even paying attention to me. It made me sad. Most days I think that G-Dawg is going to be just fine but moments like that are deflating.

I'm just hoping that G-Dawg acted that way due to exhaustion. He kept Hubby up all night, intermittently coughing and perhaps teething (he still only has 6 teeth and one tiny piece of a molar peeking through). The girls did not put him down for an early nap as I had requested, saying that the nursery was full and they didn't have the staff to stay there and watch him. I was pissed and talked to the director who was really sweet about it and said that she'd talk to the caregivers about it. So all this time when they nodded when I asked them to put G-Dawg down early they just ignored my requests? No wonder G-Dawg is about to pass out after his PT sessions on Fridays.

At the allergist, J-Man was tested for allergies to dander, wheat, soy, peanuts, and eggs. We're all clear except for the egg allergy which we already knew about. In 6 months, we'll test again and see if the allergy (diameter of the inflammation from the scratch test) is diminishing. We then tested him for an allergy to the flu shot and he was fine. So, we will make an appointment for the boys' 18 month check up and get J-Man his flu shot. Hubby and I are debating the MMR vaccine, which I'd like to hold out on.

We talked to the allergist about G-Dawg, who has intermittent coughing fits and coughs frequently but isn't actually sick. He'll run testing on him on Thursday to see if there could be anything triggering his asthma but he's thinking that G-Dawg could have "cough-variant asthma". So we're starting to nebulize him again (we had kind of slacked off) but don't want to continue with the Singular because he was waking up so upset. The allergist agreed that could be a reaction to the Singular. I also read that reflux could cause the coughing too so I'll call the GI and ask to see if there's a way to test for that. I'd rather have him taking Prevacid than a steroid.

Off to bed. I have to be away from all of my boys for work for the next two days. Nothing is important enough to make me want to leave them for what seems like such a long stretch of time. I already can't wait to be home!

Babies Babies Everywhere

2011-11-26T21:31:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 18 Months Old

Sure, people have been having babies for millions of years but is it possible that I'm only noticing (and getting excited about it) now that I've had kids of my own?

My good friend K from my moms group usually organizes our moms night out. Now K is no slush but she does enjoy a good bottle of wine. Recently, we went to moms night out and she ordered some iced tea. Being the mom's night out organizer and all, I found this a little odd and sat there looking over at her, debating if I should ask the million dollar question: "Are you pregnant?"

There were new members there and through all the chit-chat, I half paid attention, looking over at K, wondering if there was a good reason why she was nursing an iced tea. Eventually, I made my way over and just blurted it out. Being that I was asking a totally personal and intrusive question, I asked in my as-sweet-as-possible voice: "Are you? ... Pregnant? Because I just noticed that you were drinking an iced tea and you know, you usually get a drink..." There, I said it. But once I said it, I felt totally stupid for putting her on the spot.

K seemed a little shocked and smiley all at the same time, and explained that she had a bad stomach bug and was in the hospital. I felt like a total idiot.

I saw K earlier this week at the baby gym class (which the boys LOVED btw) and she looked worn out. I thought about calling her to make sure that everything was okay but wound up not wanting to pry...again.

Well, Hubby and I went out to dinner with her and her husband (Korean BBQ can work with 3 toddlers but not all that well). I noticed K and her husband hug, which I thought was sweet. "Why don't Hubby and I do that out in public," I thought. Out of the blue, K's husband looks at K and blurts out that they're having another baby. Ha! I shouldn't have been shocked but I was totally and completely shocked. And excited for them. And wow I guess that I DID put K on the spot at moms night out.

At the beginning, K's hormone levels were so high that the doctor had asked if twins run in their family. K had to wait another week to get an ultrasound and she said that it was one of the toughest weeks of her life. I can only imagine. It turns out that she's having a singleton. How she kept it from me is beyond belief. It would kill me not to say anything.

They want us to watch their daughter when they go to the hospital and I couldn't be more honored that they trust us. It helps that we live so close but so does her mother and sister, yet she chose us. I am totally honored to be part of the experience. And so excited to have a little baby nearby again (that I don't have to wake in the middle of the night for).

My co-worker S recently had her baby. Besides having morning sickness, she had a beautiful pregnancy. She walked the whole time like it was nothing and her doctors didn't even tell her to stay still. I am so jealous. She looked gorgeous, no weight gained anywhere it shouldn't be. She also carried the baby until almost 42 weeks and had to be induced. It took only 4 hours and she had no chance to get any drugs. Despite her being petite and having an 8 lb baby, she had a vaginal delivery. Jealous again.

S did however, hope for a girl. In fact, when I was pregnant with the boys, she had said that if she had kids, that she'd want a girl. I remember so vividly that I told her that I was having not one, but two boys. I really like S so I was on her side. Everyone else, not so much, and a friend of mine was hoping that she'd have a boy just because you never get what you want. Well, S had a boy.

It doesn't make me particularly happy. I don't feel like shouting out "See, that's what you get!" I like S too much. And I feel bad that I haven't been able to visit the baby and won't get to for over a week. He won't be so little anymore!

I've heard that 3 is the new 2 and my co-workers are no exception. Two of my co-workers just had their third within the same week. I'm close with with one of them and she had her third girl. I really do believe that some people have a propensity to have a certain gender. We had a farewell lunch for some co-workers so I got to see her and the new baby. Me and another co-worker of mine immediately scrubbed up the minute that there was any mention of holding the baby but the baby kept sleeping. No baby cuddles for us.

Several of the woman in my moms group who had babies around the same time are now expecting their second, including K. They say that the pregnancy goes a lot faster and you're not as much in awe. I think it would be sad to be pregnant again and think that it's old hat. But I can't actually imagine having a baby so quickly. Just the logistics are boggling, but I guess that it's different when you have singletons.

Will there be another baby for Hubby and I in the future? If I had all the money in the world (and could hire more help), I definitely would. But there are days like yesterday when J-Man throws awful temper tantrums and I think never. Then there are days like the other day when G-Dawg purposefully let go of what he was holding on to to try to walk to me and I think that maybe, one day, when Hubby and I get our sex lives and financial situation back in order that it's not a complete impossibility.

STEPS!!

2011-11-20T20:35:00.001-05:00

The boys are 18 Months Old

To my amazement, during G-Dawg's PT session on Friday, the PT not only tricked G-Dawg into standing on his own but got him to take 5-6 steps!!

Basically, you have to stand G-Dawg up, hold him on his thigh with one hand, then let go. If we position him in between two people, he will sometimes take steps from one person to the other. He's more like flinging himself onto you but it involves steps. G-Dawg was squealing with delight and I nearly burst out crying. The day care ladies were excited too and gave us a a "way to go" certificate.

Hubby had decided to stay home and missed all of the action. I texted him with the news and he responded "WHAT?!"

We've been trying to get G-Dawg to take steps all weekend with only a little luck. No luck getting any action in front of the camera either. The PT really does a fantastic job. What to get such an influential man for the holidays? J-Man has become super possessive and is always getting in between Hubby and I when we try to get G-Dawg to take some steps. He even goes as far as to try to push him away!

J-Man did do something pretty funny and unexpected today. I was reading him one of his favorite books, a Sesame Street board book about bubbles that I bought at Target for a whopping $1.

"Bubbles bubbles on my nose, bubbles bubbles on my toes, bubbles bubble in my hair, bubbles bubbles everywhere." J-Man ripped the paci out of his mouth and enthusiastically shouted "Bubble!". He usually only says bubbles when we actually blow bubbles but he was all worked up. He flipped the pages and babbled as if he was reading the story to us. G-Dawg chimed in saying "bubble" too. So cute!

World Prematurity Day

2011-11-17T22:41:00.000-05:00

G-Dawg at just a few days old....

G-Dawg at 18 months old!

J-Man at just a few days old...

J-Man at 18 Months Old!

Today (and yesterday, and the day before...) have been so difficult. Tantrums and night wakings and trekking to work like a zombie, sending the boys to day care with jarred baby food due to shear exhaustion.

Today is also the first World Prematurity day. It's important to take this time to reflect upon how lucky Hubby and I really are despite the difficult time that we're going through. I want to thank the scientists and doctors and NICU staff for making our family possible. We are so lucky to live in a day and age where our 32 weekers were able to survive. I often wonder what would have happened had they been born at 32 weeks only decades ago before such amazing technology and medicine was discovered. And would I have even made it to 32 weeks had I not had a cerclage?

I also want to honor those babies who were born too soon. My heart aches knowing that not everyone was as lucky as Hubby and I have been. Alison, I stumbled across a picture of your daughter on FB today. She was so beautiful. I think about you and her often and hope that time somehow makes life more bearable. To my nanny's former boss' son and the woman who I bought my double snap n go from who all lost one of their twins after they were born. To the poor couple that I saw on FB today who had their triplets at 24 weeks and lost one after a week, one after 5 months, and the third after 7 months. How anyone can move on after that, I can't even fathom.

Before having kids, these stories would not have phased me. I would not have stopped to honor a day such as today. But now I know that these little tiny babies have such life in them. They have a future, with friends and schooling and careers and families of their own. They're REAL people. This mom of twins is thankful for getting to experience parenthood and the wonderful insight it brings. Now this mom is going to bed!

18 Month Update

2011-11-14T22:09:00.001-05:00

The Boys are 17 Months Old

I have so much to write about!

Tantrums
J-Man has been in tantrum hell. Anything can set him off: he wants a bottle, not a sippy, he wants to get on the couch, he want to play more with bubbles and I’m putting them away, etc. Often, it’s not even clear why he’s so upset. His face (especially his mouth) will scrunch up, tears will flow, and he’ll sit on the floor hunched over so that his head is on the ground. A few times he’s even hit his head to the point of making himself black-and-blue.

There’s another cause for the common tantrum: jealousy. Sometimes when I have G-Dawg in my lap, J-Man tries to push him out. He’s even started to grab really hard at G-Dawg’s hair (while watching for my reaction). I hug my confused, crying G-Dawg and tell an indignant J-Man “NO”, and before I know it there’s chaos: two very upset babies. I have been noticing J-Man making a grimacing face more without going into a full-blown tantrum.

I’m flattered that J-Man wants me all to himself but when will he be able to understand the concept of sharing?

I’ve gotten to the point where I feel comfortable enough to walk away from a tantrum but I do usually come back and give him a pat on the back. Everywhere I’ve read says to ignore the tantrums so as not to encourage him, but it’s hard. I want to hug and kiss him, even though he doesn’t seem to want the attention.

Sometimes he can have 3-4 tantrums in a 10 minute span leaving Hubby and I exasperated and longing to put them to bed.

We’ve been super tired and a little lax lately, skipping bath times and teeth brushings. I used to enjoy giving the boys a bath but they’re over 25 lbs now and mama’s is tired and achy. I really need to figure out how to get those boys bathed together in a regular bathtub. It might mean getting them undressed and dressed in the bathroom.

Communications
The boys are communicating more and more every day, pointing to everything in sight. J-Man makes the cutest sounds when he “talks” and insists on putting the phone and any other phone substitute to his ear (the baby monitor, his hand, etc). He can sign both “more” and “milk” but still doesn’t use them properly. I’ve noticed that he signs “more” less and less, perhaps because pointing is more direct. I can’t go into the kitchen without him hounding me for something and wanting to get into the fridge.

G-Dawg’s finally putting his arms out for me to pick him up! It breaks my heart, though, with both of them reaching out for me at the same time and not being able to pick both of them up. G-Dawg the big talker these days. Funny, I was reading a past blog entry and I had predicted that he would be the first one talking (although I do think that J-Man’s going to talk incessantly once he starts putting words together).

The other day, G-Dawg woke up and was so upset that Hubby took him in to bed with him and I slept on the couch. I woke up to hearing G-Dawg saying “hi”. Apparently he was also waving, but not towards Hubby. That’s the cutest sound to wake up to. We had always thought that “hi” would be G-Dawg’s first word, although I’m not convinced that he knows what it means.

Sometimes when G-Dawg’s done with his bottle he says “all done”. He says “ball”, although it sounds more like “bo”. He often elongates his mouth (when he’s talking and just in general) and makes this really ugly face. One of his favorite words is apple, although he also calls red tomatoes and cherries “apple”. He understands a lot more words but doesn’t say them yet.

In the last few days, I swear that G-Dawg’s been sort of singing or humming. It sounds like he’s singing “Frere a Jaques”. I’ve never taught him that song.

J-Man understands a lot of words that he doesn’t say as well. Unlike G-Dawg, he’s not very consistent with bringing me things or pointing out things that I ask for. That boy definitely has a mind of his own and gets his impulsivity from his mama.

Update: I wrote this earlier in the day today but this afternoon we had a follow-up with the developmental pediatrician. Her main focus was on speech and she strongly recommends that we should get G-Dawg speech therapy. Apparently, his words should be clear (and are more like “word approximations”), he should point to some objects that we’ve not even taught him (e.g. “house”), and understand simple instructions. Really? And here I thought that words were hard to understand at first. And if G-Dawg needs speech therapy, so does J-Man, who says maybe like 2 words.

I swear that if we have to take one or both of them to speech therapy, Hubby might a well give up his job search and become a stay at home dad or I should quit my job. Who can afford and fit in all of these therapies?? The doctor admitted that it is a lot said that it’s possible that G-Dawg could catch up. I’m frustrated that all of these doctors say that speech therapy is beneficial now but EI doe not offer ST until 2 years old. I will make some phone calls to see if any other places have affordable, in-home visits.

Physicality
Physically, G-Dawg is getting so much stronger. The PT got him to stand for an entire minute and sent me a text message with a picture! That happened on my birthday so I had lunch with a friend and wasn’t there. There have been several times when G-Dawg looks like he’s really trying to reach for something. Hubby and I watch with excitement but then he just sits down and gets back up. He’s also taken to crawling with one hand so that he can bring us something (usually a book) in his other hand.

We decided not to get G-Dawg orthoses, however I did get him a nice pair of shoes at Stride Rite the other day. The trip to just that one store drained me, even though my mom was “helping”. Of all things, we ran into the PT at the hospital today and she approved hi new sneakers. Good thing, as I may not see her for a while. I still struggle with whether or not he should wear sneakers or go barefoot.

J-Man’s walking has gotten much more sophisticated. He doesn’t usually fall and knows how to walk up stairs (although he needs to hold someone’s hand or the rail). He also has finally discovered how to get on and off the push toy although he doesn’t actually push it. J-Man still gets frustrated that he can’t get on the couch or chair by himself; he’s just not tall enough yet. He knows how to use the stool but I’m trying to show him to actually position it where he wants to go so that we don’t always need to give him a boost (or put up with a tantrum).

Fine Motor/Cognitive
J-Man still loves stacking and sorting. Certain things, like the ring stacker, he has mastered. After about 6 months of trying, he still hasn’t quite figured out that the shape sorter has different shapes but no longer really tries. He’s gotten pretty good at stacking blocks though.

Hubby and I spotted G-Dawg putting two big Lego-type blocks together the other day. He’s been taking them apart for a while now but it looks like he may be showing interest in putting thing together. He doesn’t really stack things and just threw the blocks when the developmental pediatrician was trying to get him to stack them. G-Dawg understands the ring stacker and can usually get the big ring, but sort of throws the rings on the giraffe’s head and often misses.

J-Man’s almost mastered his pincer grip. G-Dawg is getting good at it too although he’s not quite as accurate and often winds up palming and stuffing things into his mouth.

Sleeping/Napping
The boys have somehow made the switch to one nap a day. When they first transitioned to the young toddler room at day care, they started taking one nap on the weekdays but we would put them down for two on the weekends.

Eventually, their first nap turned into 2 to 2.5 hours so we don’t bother giving them another nap because it would be too late in the day. Their nap happens at around 10am because honestly Hubby and I are just desperate for sleep and don’t want to keep them up until noon. Plus, when they go down at 10, they’re up in time for us to go out to lunch (which seems to be our favorite weekend activity).

G-Dawg is waking up once or twice before midnight. Hubby is valiantly taking charge but is getting weary. A bottle of milk usually calms G-Dawg down but we don’t understand why; he wakes up hysterical and he does this even when we feed him a lot before bed. I suppose that he could be teething. He only has 6 teeth and one molar breaking through. There could be a lot going on in his mouth. Now he’s probably getting into the habit of waking up and we’ll need to do some sleep training but I fear that the poor boy is in pain (and Orajel doesn’t seem to help).

Teeth
I mentioned that G-Dawg has 6 teeth with one more coming in. Well, J-Man has 5 teeth (we have a random, full-blown molar) and SIX teeth coming in at once! The two next to the middle two at the top and bottom as well as two top molars. He does wake up and need a paci on occasion but has been pretty tolerant. I think that G-Dawg’s are more painful and slow to come in.

Eating
I’ve resorted to the squeezy pouches of pureed fruits/veggies to get some veggies in the boys. This is also one of the things that G-Dawg will eat more consistently. Screw homemade crap and affordability!

G-Dawg still takes forever to chew and will start to eat something and as soon as I get all excited, he starts flinging the food across the floor. For a hypotonic boy, he sure has a good throw.

These past few days I’ve been very proud of my J-Man. He’s eaten lasagna and some other things without rejection. The boy also INSISTS on using the spoon and fork himself. I know that it's probably not the safest thing but he's getting good with the fork, so I let him us a plastic one from Ikea. The spoon is a disaster so I steer away from it.

J-Man has, however, been rejecting his sippy cup because he sees the bottles sitting on the rack. Damn bottles. Can’t seem to completely get rid of them and I really want to switch to only use the Playtex brand so we don’t have to keep washing/replacing so many parts. G-Dawg will use those sippies on occasion but really love his bottles and born free, 5-piece sippies (which needs replacement parts), much to my dismay.

Future Appointments

We need to take J-Man to an allergist. Without knowing the extent of his egg allergy, the pediatrician won’t give him his flu or MMR shots. We need to do this by January, the height of the flu season, and she’ll also give them their 18 month check-up at that time. Just yesterday, he had helped me eat part of my shwarma sandwich (yes, he took bites out of it!) and the area around his mouth turned red. It went away in about a half an hour but was clearly a reaction to something. Hubby and I bought some Benadryl to keep in the diaper bag just in case.
Still outstanding is a trip to take G-Dawg to the geneticist. I’ve been putting it off because we’ve had so much difficulty having blood drawn. The developmental pediatrician says that the veins sort of mature so hopefully they’ll have better luck next time.

I’m sure that there’s more that I missed. I’ve also been thinking a lot lately about things that the boys no longer do that I’m just realizing! Some examples include:

G-Dawg no longer sucks on his hands and fists. In fact, it’s been a long time, but I was reminded of it earlier today when he was sucking on one of his fingers (I’d never seen him do this).
G-Dawg doesn’t flap his arms that much anymore (yay!).
J-Man doesn’t splash in the water any more. That used to be so much fun.
J-Man doesn’t walk with one arm up in the air for balance anymore.
J-Man no longer purses his lips or touches things with his index finger when scrutinizing them.

There’s much more and I keep meaning to keep a running list on my Blackberry as I remember things. I have to write more often so that I don’t wind up with such crazy long posts (I’m writing this in Word and I’m on page 5!).

Big Birthdays: 18, 35, and 60

2011-11-10T22:00:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 17 Months Old

Lots of milestones abound. My mom turned 60 today, I turn 35 tomorrow, and the boys will turn EIGHTEEN months old...yes, tomorrow. It's a big day, that 11/11/11. A long time ago, I had envisioned that the alignment of the 1s would mean something spectacular. I've always loved when dates and time lined up like that but somehow my age overshadows all of those 1s. I can't fathom how I got pregnant when I was only 32 yet now I'll be 35 already and the boys are only 1 1/2. Shouldn't I only be 33? I think that I had tricked myself into thinking that I had kids well before 35 (35 was my cutoff because I didn't want to be of "advanced maternal age").

So at the last minute, I cut myself some slack and decided to take the day off tomorrow. I'll take the boys to the bookstore for a book reading (depending on how they feel because J-Man's had a "double ender" today - vomiting and diarrhea) and to lunch with a friend. We're scoping out a venue for our mom's group holiday lunch because we have a whopping 50+ adult plus babies/toddlers coming!

The only thing I'm really looking forward to is the messages that I'll get on Facebook. Good ole' Facebook. What were birthdays like before Facebook was invented? My mom bought me like the 5th massager that she's gotten for me in the last few years. This one is powerful but still not as good as a real massage. She'll come over on Saturday night and watch the boys so we can go out. Hubby was looking forward to a steak dinner at Outback and I kind of started to look forward to it too but he's still not feeling well and has lost about 12 lbs in the last few weeks.

I'm feeling bad for not having planned anything special for my mom's 60th. When my grandfather turned 60, we had a huge surprise party for him. I was young so my memories are vague, although there are some pretty pictures of me from that day. My mom's friends are having a small get together for her but I should have really put some effort into it. Just the other day I was talking with K about what to do for Hubby's 40th - why wouldn't I do something for the woman who bore me? The injustice!

Our old baby nurse called to check in and I got G-Dawg to say "hi" to her over the phone. She asked if G-Dawg was walking yet and I was disappointed to tell her "no" and "by the way, he turns 18 months tomorrow". I realized that the last time we spoke, G-Dawg wasn't crawling yet and we were going away to the Caribbean. She suggested that I bury him in sand - it's what they do to get babies moving in her culture. We never buried G-Dawg but don't think that it didn't cross my mind several times. To this day, I often wonder if he'd be moving more if we had some faith in the sand.

What's most shocking about the boys turning 18 months old is that it feels like we literally just had their 1st birthday party. Does this mean that I have to start planning for the next celebration already? The last 1st birthday party that we went to set a new standard, however I may just stick to something simple like a Gymboree. What 18 months does mean is that I definitely need to schedule a professional photo shoot. They've never had one before. All of these fantastic clothes that we have and I can't think of one thing to dress them in. I'll add that to my to do list for tomorrow!

How Could This Happen?

2011-11-10T21:02:00.000-05:00

The Boys are 17 Months Old

I just came across this news article about a woman who killed her newborn sons: http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/10/justice/tennessee-twins-killed/index.html.

I am shocked and devastated. How can anyone kill their own newborns? How can anyone hide a twin pregnancy and deliver the babies themselves?

All I can picture is my boys sleeping in the other other room, how innocent and precious they are, how I fought to get them to almost 33 weeks and how this woman who assumedly has no prenatal care carries them to full term and destroys them.

The horror.

My Neighbor with an Autistic Son

2011-11-08T22:26:00.002-05:00

The Boys are 17 Months Old

Recently I came across a post on a mom’s group from a woman (I’ll call her “B”) whose 20 month old son had just been diagnosed with autism. She posted her story with a link to the MCHAT, which of course I took right away for G-Dawg and for the most part, he passed.

There was an outpouring of support on the message board. I sent B an e-mail about what I went through with G-Dawg, worrying myself sick about autism, telling her how we’ve seen nearly every doctor in town. We exchanged some e-mails.

It turns out that B lives just a few blocks away from me. I re-arranged my schedule on Friday so that I could join her for a play date that she was offering to the group and took G-Dawg with me.

B’s son was a ball of energy, running in all different directions. He doesn’t have any words and didn’t engage with me but I wouldn’t have noticed anything wrong had she not pointed it out.

The play date was awkward. “Doesn’t he seem normal to you? I don’t think that he’s that bad and I was mostly concerned about his speech,” B would say. She talked about how she must be in denial, how it never occurred to her that her son might be autistic, how if the doctor had administered the MCHAT today instead of a month or two ago, he may have never been evaluated or diagnosed for a while since her son has made some progress.

B continuously spoke loudly to her son, telling him to look at her, trying to get him to interact or pry him away from some activity that he was involved in. You’re supposed to constantly engage autistic children to prevent them from withdrawing, B explained later, however I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable. I couldn’t think of any comforting words so I said stupid things like “there’s a wide spectrum, and there are all of these signs of autism that he doesn’t exhibit so it could be much more severe,” as if I’m an expert or something.

There were a few other people at the play date. I wondered if anyone else had talked to her online about her son’s diagnosis or if I was the only one there that had some sort of understanding of what was going on. I’m not quite sure what I was expecting. I didn’t realize how grief-stricken B was before going (although I should have known). I had felt like we must have something in common given G-Dawg’s delays but in fact, I felt strangely like I wasn’t part of some club that she was expecting me to belong to.

B talked about how she goes between denial to sadness to rage. She quit her job and will be paying about $15K out of pocket for therapies per month. She is clearly caught up in everything that’s going on and I can’t blame her, I would be too. My heart goes out to her yet I can’t seem to get over how self-absorbed she is. I can’t put my finger on who she reminds me of, but she reminds me of people that I’ve come across before who never quite seem like they’re paying attention to you; they’re always thinking about the next thing that they’ll be doing. I get the suspicion that her demeanor isn’t just a symptom of the situation that she’s in.

Last night we got together for coffee (or in my case, a smoothie) and I felt the same way. She was there but she wasn’t. Another member of our mom’s group met with us and B was obsessed with figuring out where she was and when she was showing up and if she got lost on her way to the checkout line. It’s like she needed a break from talking to me. I clearly didn’t provide her with the right words nor did I really feel like trying.

The other woman who joined us was very nice and has a 19 month old son with a global developmental delay. He is a big, BIG boy. I would have guessed that he’s over two at least. He doesn’t crawl yet and is kind of doofy looking but cute at the same time. He can do things like feed himself and has stranger anxiety, but he doesn’t talk or point yet. So there are delays but there are also things that he does that are encouraging. He recently had surgery for strabismus and is going through EI and the local children’s hospital just like we are (although we may no longer be going to the children’s hospital anymore but I’ll save that for another time). He also appears to have reduced white brain matter from an MRI but that doesn’t really indicate any sort of diagnosis.

B suggested that we all get together once a month, but I’m not sure how interested I’d be in seeing her regularly. The woman that joined us I’d be interested in talking to more. I suppose that one thing that I got out of this, albeit narcissistic, is that G-Dawg may not be doing that bad after all. In fact, I don’t worry about autism or cerebral palsy anymore. My concerns are more about how to get him to stop slapping me in the face and trying to get him to eat more. When I think about, I got pretty lucky and should stop worrying so damn much.

Baby Mama Group Drama

2011-11-05T21:27:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 17 Months Old

If you're not interested in mom's group drama, I suggest you stop reading here...

I can't remember if I've mentioned the other mom's groups in my area before. A while back, one of the organizers of probably the most popular group sent me a message, inviting me to join. At the time, I thought that my group was the only active group in the area.

As it turns out, there are actually several groups in my area and many of them have very similar activities. The group that I run is specific to my town and the other groups cover a larger radius but many members are part of several groups. I just counted and I belong to a whopping NINE groups now! I'm not even part of some of the other big ones. Just goes to show how raising kids never goes out of style. Woman have been getting together and sharing stories and heartache of motherhood long before I ever discovered it.

For several months, I held joint lunch meetups with another small local group. I think that I've mentioned the owner, S, who's a little wonky. Those meetups have since fizzled, perhaps because I didn't take much initiative (it was really S that was scheduling things and they weren't very convenient to go to). I've since noticed that she does the same meetup with another group and doesn't invite mine which make me wonder if SHE thinks that I'M wonky.

Anyways, at the last meetup I had with S, I met a woman (I'll call her "Z") who runs the big group that I had been invited to. The first thing out of her mouth were questions about why I started a group when one already existed. She wasn't interrogating, but she wasn't warm either. I immediately did not like her. My impression of her related to her demeanor rather than her conversation. This is not a woman that I would typically find myself friends with.

At the time, I had just exchanged some e-mails with a woman, "V", who had recently started a business setting up activities for parents. She eventually became a friend of mine and started a meetup as well. Z seemed a bit perturbed by yet another person setting up events for kids in the area. She's clearly territorial. When V told me that she was starting a meetup group, at the time I asked her not to post stuff on my group anymore as to avoid confusion and I copied Z. It was an FYI more than anything else, but I think that Z got the wrong impression and thought that V was blindly spamming everyone in my group.

A few months later, I got a call from V, upset because she heard that someone e-mailed a nasty message about her publicly to Z's group, which she had recently been booted from without explanation. I put my friend "C" on alert (does this sound like a teenage blog yet??), who considers my group "home" and the other group a way to find daily activities with her son (I mostly do things once or twice a month on the weekends). Neither of us figured out what e-mail V was alerted to, however there was a message thread about an event that V was having and the thread had been closed..

I didn't tell V but I get the sneaking suspicion that I gave Z the wrong impression of her (when I copied her on my e-mail to V asking that she not post to my group anymore) and I felt just terrible. That night, I went to a mom's night out event with Z's group to try to get the scoop and Z didn't say two words to me. I never got any details and it was a bit strange. S was there of all things and she was chipper as always and never mentioned the fact that we don't do our joint lunches anymore.

Since then, Z has guilted C into setting up a play date. After that and what I had told her, C has developed a similar disliking for Z and declined going to her house for an event.

When V and I hosted a swap, someone mentioned the swap on Z's group. Z responded to the discussion thread and noted that she had heard about the swap but didn't post it because she "had an issue" with the woman running the group, assumedly V. Well, first of all, we didn't ASK them to post the swap because we wanted to keep it small and second, who is she to publicly mention who she takes issue with?

C, an active online participant, alerted me to the discussion and to stir the pot, asked Z why she felt that way. Z kind of blew it off and I responded politely, saying that I have collaborated with V several times and she's actually very pleasant to work with and that I hope that she can find that out for herself. Z didn't respond but didn't remove my post either.

Most recently, someone in Z's group posted a discussion that she'd like to get a monthly mom's night out going. I'm not very territorial but that hit a sour note because my group has a successful monthly MNO that my friend K runs. In fact, that's really the only regular thing that we do. I joked with my friend K, that is also a member of Z's group, to respond to them, telling them about our group's MNO. I guess that she didn't realize that it was a joke so she posted something about it. Z seemed to take it fairly well, "thanking" K for letting us know. However, Z removed the "you're welcome to join us" wording but said that she took out the link to our group "because people would have to sign up". K was shocked - not only had Z removed her wording but she lied about what she removed!

For whatever reason, I've been much more inclined lately to browse the groups and actively monitor the goings-on. It's a time suck. I already have too many distractions!

*Sigh*. Tonight's blog post was intended to talk about the woman I met yesterday whose son was recently diagnosed with autism. In my attempt to lead up to how I came to find this woman (through Z's group), I guess that I muddled through the details that no blog reader nor myself in 5 years will have the patience to read through. I'll save the autism post for another night I suppose. I'm pooped. Hubby's been sick for over a week now and it's only getting worse. The boys aren't sleeping through the night (a concept that I'm no longer convinced exists) and I've been doing my best to let the Hubster sleep (which he's done day and night, poor hubs). Off to bed I go!

Halloween

2011-11-04T15:11:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 17 Months Old

The snow melted pretty quickly last weekend so we didn't get to play outside. There were no Halloween activities and Hubby wasn't feeling well so we spent a quiet weekend indoors (that is, after the mall expedition).

On Monday, the day care had a Halloween party. I brought the boys in their oversized monkey and dino costumes. After seeing some of the other kids doctor and spiderman uniforms, I realized that the boys probably didn't have to be padded in so much material to be dressed up.

Getting the boys to day care is a challenge in itself; the theatrics are probably worthy of a separate blog post. While Halloween is meant to be fun, it just adds to the chaos: costumes, change of clothes, and money for the pizza party (it's just $3...can't the day care add an extra $1 to tuition and cover pizza a couple of time a year??). On top of that, we were supposed to bring a "treat" for the pizza party. I guess that I missed that detail.

I ran home and get one of the tubs of individually wrapped Halloween "bats and jacks' pretzels that my mom had brought over. I was thrilled to get rid of them. The boys became obsessed with the pretzels and if the tub was anywhere in sight, they'd ignore their dinner and point to the tub of pretzels and wouldn't let up until they had pretzels in their grubby little hands. They're getting better at biting pieces off of things and enjoyed munching on the pretzels (in addition to taking the packets in and out of the tub and rummaging through the packets). I'm glad that those are out of sight.

Back to the pizza party. Someone brought some chocolate. I don't know what shape or form it started out in but all of it wound up on G-Dawg's face. My aunt says that I should send the pic to Hershey. I posted it to FB and I didn't get much response. I have a feeling that only parents would find the cuteness in a picture like this.

Not only did we have to change G-Dawg before leaving, but J-Man had poop all over him. Luckily they were not wearing their costumes and I had brought a change of clothes. Poor J-Man still has diarrhea and a bad diaper rash. His testicles are bright red and we've been generously applying some zinc oxide.

That night I was supposed to go with some friends to a Halloween-themed night at local restaurant. One friend wasn't feeling well and neither was Hubby so my friend K and I just wound up trick-or-treating at some of the local stores and grabbing a quick dinner.

Those big chunky outfits barely squeezed into our stroller. I was impressed that the boys held onto their pumpkins long enough to get a picture and for some stores to put candy (or stickers...who wants stickers??!!) in them.

Pictured here are G-Dawg and J-Man, trying to pick out which type of candy mommy will want to eat later.

This weekend I'll try to get a better shot of the boys in their costumes.

I think that that was the third time that I saw my friend K that week. K and I have become good pals. I think that it helps that she only lives a few blocks away and that she has a strong personality. She's always great when I need an opinion on something. We're a bit different but I can relate to her for several reasons. What I appreciate most is that I can always easily find something to talk with her about. She's looking to move to a larger apartment or house, but luckily she's looking in the area.

K's daughter had three Halloween costumes. K thinks through all the details. On Halloween night, her daughter wore scrubs with a small stethoscope and "Dr. [last name]" embroidered on the front So cute!

What does next year hold? I'm sure both boys will be walking. They'll be able to say "trick or treat". They'll be wanting to eat their own candy. I won't be able to dress them in big puffy cutesy outfits anymore. They'll probably want to be a firefighter Spiderman. The mind reels!

Letting Go

2011-11-01T22:51:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 17 Months Old

NO, not "letting go" in the proverbial, figurative sense. That is not the subject of today's exciting post, oh no. Today's post is about a little boy who is literally LETTING GO, as in letting go of what he's standing up against or holding on to. Yes, that's right, my little G-Dawg is ready to proudly stand on his own two feet!!!

Tricking G-Dawg into standing on his own has been the focus of our EI PT sessions for at least a month now. We stand G-Dawg against the wall and blow bubbles to get him to move away from the wall. We put G-Dawg to stand against shorter and shorter props, making him work as hard as possible to maintain his posture. We walk him around in a variety of ways: with a baton, with only pinkies linked, walking against walls and over obstacles hoping that soon, one day, he'll have the balance to do it on his own.

Today was our make-up session with our favorite PT, Mr. J. (I had cancelled last time because of the Halloween party). Hubby was there and witnessed G-Dawg stand on his own for 10 seconds, a record by my count. He's been pulling up and cruising a lot lately, with much less grunting and effort than ever before.

My frustration with the boys not even taking a bite of their dinner was soon overshadowed by a happy and chipper G-Dawg pulling up and purposefully letting go of Hubby during our nighttime wind down routine. Well, the routine is meant to wind the boys down but it often gets G-Dawg all worked up, wanting to play and read books. He rolls around with burpies, squealing happily and it's getting harder to convince him to go to sleep.

I digress. For at least a half hour, G-Dawg was trying to stand on his own. He was so excited and worked up that he wouldn't go to sleep without a bottle of water.

Ironically, I got a call from our hospital's PT. G-Dawg hasn't gone in a few weeks because of an outstanding bill (they should have told me about co-insurance!) and Halloween. The prescription for G-Dawg's orthothes ("SFOs" I think they're called) came in from the pediatrician and we have to call some places to see who will take our insurance. With my current luck, I'm sure that my "co-insurance" will be several hundred dollars.

G-Dawg's feet still roll outwards. The hospital's PT said that kids with hypotonia usually have feet that roll inwards. She thinks that the boot-type orthoses will help G-Dawg to balance.

Our EI PT thinks that using orthoses are old school an that we shouldn't consider them until G-Dawg is two since his bones and feet are still maturing. I tend to agree with him. The hospital PT hasn't seen G-Dawg since he started pulling up all over and my guess is that G-Dawg's feet will quickly progress as he stands up more. I'll make the calls to get the cost of the orthoses but I may just hold off.

Halloween Party and Snowy Cancelled Weekend

2011-10-29T22:19:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 17 Months Old

Yesterday I experienced the tiresome challenge of hosting a Halloween Potluck for my mom's group. Several weeks ago, I rented out the community room in our complex and threw the event on the calendar. Lo and behold, people RSVPed right away. Then more RSVPed. Then more. Before I knew it, we had reached our max capacity of 20 and there were 17 people on the waiting list! Moms sure love to dress up their babies.

People started asking if we could find a bigger venue. Even with 20 people, I still was worried that the room was too small so I scoured the whole town. Our community center was surprisingly unfriendly. The American Legion was booked. The golf course had a perfect room that wasn't booked but despite all of my calls, the manager didn't get back to me. At the end of the day, I left it in the community room. Some friends thought that some of our members were rude to ask that we get a bigger space since I'm doing this just for fun. They were right, but I did feel bad.

A few people dropped out at the last minute and were replaced by people on the waiting list. I think that this was one of the few events where we had no no-shows.

The super was surprisingly accommodating. Him and one of the guys that works at the complex cleaned the place and help me set it up. I felt unprepared, though. I put up signs and bought plates and things but did nothing for decorations. A trip to Target proved that decorations would be too expensive and I wound up paying for a good part of the room out of pocket already.

Practically everyone showed up on time. A friend's husband and son showed up a half an hour early. Only a few people had trouble parking (something that I was worried about). I made several trips back to my apartment to grab the CD player and baby gate and frozen pizzas.

I had picked up a few small tacky prizes at Target for the best costume and that went over well. All in all, the party was okay. The space was small but not extremely cramped. The room was warm. Hubby felt like he had to navigate walking around babies all the time. I think I could have done a better job with the activities.

I dressed G-Dawg as a monkey and J-Man as a dinosaur. I wanted to do a twin coordinating/matchy thing but couldn't muster the energy. I copped out and bought the outfits at Old Navy. I have to say, they're much cuter on than in the store.

Before I knew it, people were leaving. I looked at the clock and we had been there for 2 hours!! I hadn't even eaten anything. Every time I looked over, Hubby was was eating, though. No wonder there were no hot dog bits left. We had tons of leftovers and Hubby was smart and threw out the leftover cupcakes and sweets.

There were two spills on the floor but I think that we cleaned them up sufficiently. I hope to get my $200 security deposit back. Hubby was a good sport and helped to clean up the room.

I got to meet one of my neighbors, who, as it turns out, uses the same cleaning lady and me and a friend of mine. Her 7 week old daughter is so precious, it makes me wonder how the boys were so little. She's so small she's almost not human.

My friends have assured me that the party was great and that the space was fine. Hubby wasn't so convincing. Only one person on my group rated the party - as opposed to the four ratings we got for our mom's night out this past week. Why it makes me paranoid I don't know. What I do know is that I'm glad that this is over and next year I WILL find a bigger space and have

On to the next big event - our holiday party. I'm co-hosting this one with a friend of mine which will hopefully make things a big easier. We're having it at the same place as our post-holiday party, the first event that I ever hosted where we had gotten almost 40 people. This year, we already have 43.

As much as a pain it is, I kind of like planning events. I like getting people together and and being the conduit for new relationships. Too bad I have a day job.

The rest of the weekend was a wash - literally. I was supposed to have a girl's weekend with my friend with the twins that used to live around the corner from me. We talked about eating and shopping and eating and the jacuzzi and going to the casino and drinking wine. All four of our boys were cooperating.

That did not happen. We had a snow storm. A BIG snow storm. In OCTOBER. I'm so bummed. It's probably for the best since the boys woke up before 6am and Hubby was not feeling well and slept all morning.

Hubby and I bundled the boys up and took them to the local mall to have lunch with a friend. It turned into a four hour ordeal. The power went out in the mall and in the restaurant, J-Man had a diarrhea explosion (a problem he's been having all week, along with an apparent fungal infection), it took an hour to get the check, and then another hour to get home. I was too tired to put the boys in their snowsuits and enjoy the white stuff. Maybe tomorrow.

Last Visit With the Old Nanny

2011-10-22T11:35:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 17 Months Old

My friend E texted me yesterday, indicating that her regular nanny had returned and it was M's (our old nanny's) last day. She was wondering if we had given her a parting gift, which we hadn't. I'm still annoyed by M's parting gift to me: her giving me a hard time about a week's pay that we supposedly owed her.

M didn't consider it "a real job" since she was only working a few days a week, yet she hung in there for almost 4 months while E waited for her regular nanny to return from taking care of her mother-in-law overseas. M and E had some differences at the beginning, but came to an understanding and E's daughter really took to M. E is excited for her old nanny to come back, who is inexpensive and more hands-on.

E's text reminded me to blog about a visit we had with her the other week. M hadn't seen the boys in a while and as much as M drove me nuts, I was excited for her to see the boys and how much they've grown.

M was quiet, yet happy to see the boys. She got a kick out of J-Man since he's grown into such a cute little boy from a chubby big baby (a baby, which I might add, that looked strangely Asian now that I look back at older pictures). J-Man uncharacteristically stuffed his lunch in his mouth. He was always a big eater when M was around and maybe she inspired him. Or maybe it's just because it was the Sam's Club rotisserie chicken that my mom brought over which he loves.

Last time that M saw the boys, J-Man wasn't walking yet and G-Dawg was totally immobile. It took a little prodding, but G-Dawg showed off and crawled and stood on his knees and fed himself. I couldn't get him to say any words.

Sadly, J-Man clung to me and neither of the boys made any indication that they knew M or were happy to see her. I suppose that taking care of babies IS a thankless job.

Poor Kitty

2011-10-22T11:02:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 17 Months Old (and the Cat is About 13 Years Old)

Despite our best efforts to control the cat’s diabetes (I’ll call him”S”), he’s continued to fill up two litter boxes full of pee every 4 days and drink like a sailor. Hubby’s been managing most of S’s treatment regime. I’m so grateful for Hubby’s efforts to treat the cat that sheds all over his clothing, uses his stomach like a bed, and claws at his legs like it’s a scratching post.

We’ve switched injection sites and cat food and the other day upped the insulin dosage to 4 units every 12 hours. S’s blood sugar remains high but luckily there are no keytones in his urine, which could indicate disease progression and/or organ failure.

The vet is pretty amazing and calls to check in frequently. I suppose he’s earned his fee. He wants the cat to come in for a blood test but Hubby and I are putting it off; it’s costly and it probably won’t tell us more than we already know. We’re dreading the day that his insulin runs because it’s so expensive

Poor S is looking so skinny. He used to be about 15 lbs but now he’s 13 or less. He feels as light as a feather. He’s licking his fur off and has bald spots and sores. I’d worry that it was related to the diabetes but he had the same problem about a year ago and it eventually went away. I haven’t read anywhere that the bald patches could be related to diabetes.

S is in general acting like his normal self, but he hangs around the water fountain and goes off on his own more, sleeping in the closet and bathtub and in other quiet places. He may just be avoiding the boys who probably give him more attention than he’d like. When the boys do bother him, he usually remains calm and doesn’t walk away until they start squealing.

Now that we don’t keep food out all the time anymore, both of our cats are constantly hounding us for food. Their food bowl was empty the other night and we woke up to a big cat fight at 5 in the morning.

I love S, I really do. He’s been in my life for 13 years now. I’ve known him from the day that he was born. He’s been with me since just after I graduated college. He’s followed me through six different homes and several boyfriends. If he could talk, I’m sure that he could blackmail me into installing a cat door and feeding him fresh chicken every day. When I spend a night away without S, I often feel him jump on the bed even though he’s not there.

In recent years, I’ve wondered what life would be like without him. No fur EVERYWHERE, clinging stubbornly to every piece of black clothing that we own (I joke that I take him everywhere with me). I wonder what it would be like to sleep in peace and not have a cat meow in my face every morning. I feel bad for Hubby who has to constantly change the litter box and endure S lying on his chest every single night. Without S, we would be left with one anti-social cat that does not shed so much.

Now I’m left to wonder what type of future commitment I’m willing to make for S. How far does my love for him go? I just wish that his health were more clear-cut; either he’s healthy or dying.

Hubby is optimistic. He thinks that since we upped the dosage to 4 units that S has been feeling a bit better. When he starts looking like his chubby self again, I'll believe it.

Baby Clothing Addiction

2011-10-17T12:53:00.003-04:00

The Boys are 17 Months Old

I’m catching up on my blogging today and I think that it’s worth mentioning that I’m a totally baby clothes addict. I love washing them, I love folding them, I love sorting them, I love putting them on the boys, and most of all I love getting a great deal on baby clothes and bargain hunting.

A few weeks ago, I snuck off to a mother’s market before the start of a friend’s 1st birthday party. I got a HUGE bag of 2T clothes for $20. A woman there let me stuff a bag for $5. I negotiated two bags for $8. In there were Gap 1969 jeans and tons of other Gap and Old Navy Items. Hubby was worried where everything would go but I found a place in the closet now that I’ve given a lot of the baby stuff away.

The week after, I went to the Twin’s Club sale. Compared to the mother’s market, this was a bit disappointing. Everything was marked, tagged, and sold individually. I did pick up a few things but my best purchase there was a single MacLaren Twin Triumph umbrella stroller. As it turns out, that was a good buy for $30. It’s a top rated single stroller and is ten times better than the cheapo $20 Cosco stroller that I bought at Target. We use our single stroller quite frequently.

Last week, I went to a yard sale and while I didn’t find much for the boys, I took it upon myself to score tons of clothes for my FIL’s friend’s daughter. For $30, I bought several pants and sweaters. Not a wonderful deal, but there were so many cute things and it gave me an excuse to buy some girl’s stuff.

At the swap this weekend, I was good. I didn’t really get anything for the boys. I did bring home and sort the leftovers that I plan to donate. There were tons of newborn girl’s clothes left over so I got those for a friend of mine at work who is due any day now. She wants a girl, so everyone is betting that she’s having a boy. Surprisingly, I’m rooting for her. In fact, now that I have all of these girls’ clothes, I’m really hoping that she has a girl so I can package them up nicely and give them to her!

All of this baby clothes shopping has me itching to start my own used baby clothes business. Thinking about the details kept me up two nights last week. A store would be too expensive but a website would be too much work.

Buying something for $1 and selling it for $4 or $5 sounds great, right? But by the time I acquire the clothes, take a picture, post it, pack it, and ship it, I’m making less then minimum wage. I haven’t totally abandoned the idea, however. I just need a way to make it more profitable. The lure of quitting my job is super strong these days!

G-Dawg Will Walk and “More”

2011-10-17T12:53:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 17 Months Old

While not working on the swap, I did get to take the boys to the park this weekend – twice! Now that I can set J-Man loose, it’s one of my favorite places to go. I get such a kick out of watching him explore.

There’s an area for kids their age. I put G-Dawg on the stairs and he was able to climb them! Hubby swears that he’s done this before but haven’t seen it. I stood G-Dawg up against the handrail and he feebly started cruising up the stairs too.

I’ve been putting sneakers on G-Dawg more often due to the PT’s suggestion. I bought the sneakers used on eBay so it worries me a little that they’re conformed to another kid’s foot, but they’re nice because they’re like high-tops and provide some ankle support.

When I walked G-Dawg from one end of the playground to the other, he took his own steps and didn’t wait for me to prompt him. He happily held on to my hands for some support. It occurred to me that G-Dawg IS going to walk, and sooner rather than later. My eyes were full of tears when I came to the realization.

How much fun will it be seeing the boys running around the playground together? I can’t wait to find out!

My mom joined us for the playground excursion yesterday after the swap. We had so much fun watching the boys. She bought two rotisserie chickens from BJs. The last time she brought them over, we all gobbled them up like we hadn’t eaten in days. It’s really some good chicken. She’s really excited to get us something that we can really appreciate (most of the “toys” that she brings over are really just “clutter”).

The minute that J-Man sees the rotisserie chicken, he signs “more”. From what I can gather, J-Man signs more for any food or drink that he wants. It’s cool because he signed more at the park so I knew that it was time to take them back and get them dinner (I was a bad mom and had no snacks with us). However, it’s still a little frustrating for us because it’s so non-specific. My friend’s daughter did the same thing and is 20 months now. I’ll have to check with her if she asks for more specific things now.

The Swap

2011-10-17T12:52:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 17 Months Old

My past two weekends were dedicated to preparing for a children’s swap. It was a TON of work. I am beat but happy that it was successful.

The planning started a few months ago when a friend of mine, V, who runs a for-profit parent’s group, suggested that we do a swap. It’s something that I’ve wanted to do for a while so I jumped at the chance.

V and I get along well however we have different views on what we wanted the swap to be. I see a swap as an event where people exchange things for other things. If I have a toy that the boys don’t use often, I envision bringing it in and getting a different toy or other items– the idea is to get something of equal value in exchange.

V’s vision was to have a swap/sale. In other words, people can “exchange” their items OR they can just come and buy things. I had a fundamental issue with this because there should be the same value of items available to choose from as are being dropped off for swapping. In other words, if people want to swap $100 worth of items, there should be $100 of items available for the swappers.

In addition, we price things low not for the sake of getting rid of them or appealing to bargain hunters, but rather to facilitate the simple and even exchange of items. If things are sold, who does the money go to? And how would swappers feel about their things being sold at bargain basement prices? They don’t get to keep the money and there would be less stuff for them to choose from!

We went back and forth and eventually agreed that it’s just a swap but people in the building can purchase things so that we could get the room for free (as per the board’s rules). I didn’t think that it was too much to ask people to contribute $5 towards the room but figured a compromise was in order.

To make matters even more confusing, the woman who was renting the community room in her building for the swap got involved (“M”). She was very short with me in her e-mails so I could already tell that I didn’t like her.

What I didn’t realize until yesterday was that there WAS a charge for the room - $50. When people showed up off the street to buy things, V and M didn’t stop them. When I brought it up with M, she got super angry with me, accusing me of wanting to throw people onto the street! I was keeping track of swappers and after determining that all swappers had already swapped, I agreed to let them purchase things. Luckily V, M and I brought a ton of stuff and didn’t really swap anything so we had lots of stuff for everyone.

I didn’t wind up getting rid of as much as I had hoped. In fact, I picked up some clothes for my co-worker’s new baby. We had planned to donate the items but the place that we had spoken to fell through and we wound up dividing it up and leaving a few boxes there. We each made $13 each but I feel a bit guilty since I really didn’t aim to make a profit. I may drop it off to the security guard that helped us out.

One thing that I’ve learned about myself in running this event is that I like rules. I like structure. I want to know how things work ahead of time. And while it’s great to have a partner in crime to absorb some of the risk and work, it also means giving up control. That is the most difficult part for. V wants to do something 5x the size again soon. She may be doing it on her own. Between that and the time commitment, I’m looking to some low key play dates!

G-Dawg's Speech Evaluation, Behavior, and Poop

2011-10-14T20:36:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 17 Months Old

Poor Hubby made little progress this week with setting up his development environment to write his iPhone game. The day care was closed on Columbus Day so he had to take care of the boys. Who celebrates Columbus Day anyway?? Tuesday he had a job interview and Wednesday he took G-Dawg for a speech evaluation which turned into an all day affair as usual.

D-Dawg's speech evaluation went well, although G-Dawg didn't say many words while he was being evaluated. This was a long overdue appointment that was recommended by the developmental pediatrician a few months ago. The speech therapist said that while it would be good to get G-Dawg some speech therapy, it wasn't critical at this point and we wouldn't be bad parents for holding off for six months.

It didn't come as a surprise - I don't think that there's much that can be done about G-Dawg's speech right now, nor do I think he really needs yet. What a relief not to need yet another therapy. I suppose that if we still feel that he's behind in six months or so, we can at least get speech therapy when he turns two through EI (that's their minimum age for giving ST).

With Hubby not working (well, for anyone else), our co-pay for EI therapy went down from $60 to $10 per hour. Make-up sessions and extra therapies don't seem so costly now.

However, we do have the new DI starting next week (ours took another position) and I already can't stand her. She is super long-winded and I have no patience for her on the phone.

The PT from EI saw G-Dawg today and G-Dawg was super cranky and tired. He cried throughout the entire session, which focused on standing and tricking him to let go and stand on his own (that's our main goal at this point).

Right before bed time, G-Dawg starting crying when I picked him up from the floor. He was in his poop-squeezing position so I went to change his diaper. No wonder the poor boy was crying. He had a hard, adult-sized poop. Bigger than my poops even. And it had some blood at the end of it. There was probably a little bit of tearing to get that monster poop out. I can't imagine how such a big poop can even fit in a little boy like that and wonder if that's why the physical therapy bothered him. He had a poop nearly the size of his thigh stuck in him. I felt awful. We still give him Miralax every other day but I'll give it to him every day starting tomorrow. Hubby may take them in for heir flu shot this week and he'll ask if we can give him a stool softener.

In other G-Dawg news, hitting has become a part of his repertoire. I think that I'm partially to blame. I play this game where I stick out my cheek and he pushes on it and when I let out air from my cheek, I make a noise. He gets such a kick out of it that it's hard to stop. But I fear that I've taught him to basically push and hit on my face. Now he cries when I tell hiim "no". SIGH...what can a mom do?

On the bright side, G-Dawg has other distractions. He loves playing with the ball. I roll it towards him and he squeals and tries to throw it. G-Dawg still gets a kick out of us rubbing him with his burp clothes. He puts them to his face like he's playing peek-a-book or cuddles up with them and squeals. He also loves reading books. We have several word books and we've taught him so many words that it makes me wonder how many he's actually retaining.

Sleep?!

2011-10-10T21:24:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 1 Day Shy of 17 Months and....

Sweet Jesus they slept from 7am until almost 6:45 in the AM of this very morning. Did we both actually get almost 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night?!

Goodbyes and Passings

2011-10-05T22:05:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 16 Months Old

Five people that I’ve worked with over the last nine years are leaving my company this week, and not by choice. It’s the last week to get a good severance package, so I suppose my organization was kind in letting them go at this time, but it wasn’t handled very well and they will be sorely missed (by me at least).

Amongst those leaving include:

The guy that talks too much - I can be walking backwards towards the door and he keeps talking. He’s too smart for his own good and prefers the sound of his own voice. We have a good rapport, though, and have shared many gripes in the past.
The woman who knew all the gossip – I heard from her a few weeks before big M&A activity what was going to happen. There will be a hole left, with no one to give me the scoop.
The woman who was my gym partner. She’s also a good friend whom I’ve had some good memories with. Her mother also manages my properties. And she took my fish when I moved. My fish killed her fish and she holds no grudges.
The man that has a bad marriage – He constantly complains about his wife who saw us in a work picture together and automatically assumed that something was up between the two of us. Despite all that, he’s a good, smart guy that will be sorely missed. I also think that he may be gay which may account for his wife’s insecurities.
The man that constantly worries – He’s a nice, sweet man who’s seen the company through many changes over the last 30+ years. Ever since I’ve known him, he was always worried that he was going to get let go. I suppose that now’s his time.

How I made the cut I will never know. I’m forgetful. I’m absent. I’m distracted. I’m ready to move on. Yet, I keep on ticking.

There were two other departures this week. The first is a co-worker with a son the same age as mine. We had once been in her office together while pregnant and made my now boss keep the door open for fear that we would faint from the heat generated by our close contact. After all, there were 6, not 3 people in the room. She’s early into her second pregnancy and hasn’t been feeling well (to the point where she was on disability for a month). She was given a big project the minute she came back from maternity leave and now she’s resigning.

Last, but not least, is a woman who works near me who I eat lunch with and chat to often. I had given her a large amount of our baby stuff and she was so sweet and gave me two BabyGap gift certificates for the boys. She’s 2 weeks away from having her baby and will be gone for 6 months. I can’t believe that by the time she comes back, the boys will be almost 2...shocking!!

Ironically, a co-worker that was on secondment for several months decided to make her appearance yesterday. She is back permanently. I prefer seeing her from my cubicle more than the interns that were here this summer (have I mentioned that I hate the sight of teenage girls and it’s probably best that I have boys?)

However, said co-worker has single-handedly replaced BOTH the co-worker on maternity leave as well as the guy that talks too much. We talk often. Too often. And for too long. She’s nice but has no idea how to end a conversation. Thank god for the slew of unsolicited phone calls that I’ve been receiving recently. “Oh, there’s my phone!”

On a non-work note, a family friend, J, passed away last night. She was almost 90 years old and very close with my grandmother and they lived in the same building for decades. She was diagnosed with mouth cancer 2.5 years ago. The doctors said that she would only live a year but she hung on. My aunt has been helping her these past few years. J was in hospice but wasn’t dying fast enough so they had moved her out and most recently moved her back in.

J is survived by her husband and her two sons. When my grandfather was alive, her husband had a heart attack and he rushed him to the hospital. Now her husband has Alzheimer’s and doesn’t even recognize J. Last time I saw him, it was awkward to be around him. Apparently he had a girlfriend at the home he was in. Who knew that he would live longer than her?

One of J’s sons is a paraplegic. He had a bad reaction to a vaccine when he was a baby. The other son I don’t hear great things about. My aunt may do a memorial service for J. I told her that that’s not necessary – that the burden is on her sons, but apparently she doesn’t think that they’d do anything. How awful! My boys better not be disrespectful like that. I’ll kill ‘em!

My last memories of J were at my grandmother’s memorial last year. She wore a face mask to disguise the damage done by her disease. She was robust and kind. She drove well into her 80s. She also kept her paraplegic son living with her until she went into hospice. He’s now in his mid-50s and has never lived outside of his parent’s apartment.

It may be selfish of me, but I’m happy that J outlived my grandmother. My grandmother outlived her 4 sisters and her brother (who went MIA during WWII), so it’s comforting to know that someone her age with good mental health capacity was right there around the corner.

Vocabulary Explosion! And a General Update!

2011-10-05T21:58:00.001-04:00

The Boys are 16 Months Old

Wow! We’ve come a long way since last week when the boys clearly exclaimed “bubble” when reading through their bubble book.

We have, with perhaps a little bit of uncertainty, "dog", "kitty", "ball", "hi", “book”, “apple”, “milk” or “more” (can’t tell which), "so big", and last but not least “apple juice”! Why we don’t have “no” yet I don’t question (although both boys shake their head no). “Mama” and “dada” are questionable but Hubby seems to think that the boys are familiar.

The boys are clearly understanding more and starting to understand the world around them. I stumbled across a BabyCenter article today that nailed their behavior exactly (I’m having trouble finding it now). They’re right on track for their adjusted age. In fact, the pediatrician heard G-Dawg say “book” the other day and she was so excited and said that she thinks that he’s going to catch up soon!

It makes me wonder what the world was like for G-Dawg. How is the world perceived through the eyes of a delayed child? Do they see what a typical child would see or are things fuzzier?

This is probably a good opportunity to catch up on what the boys have been up to lately (besides getting sick).

J-Man
J-Man is pointing like crazy to everything. It’s often a guessing game since there’s so much stuff lying around. How we keep the place from looking like a tornado hit it, I’ll never know. J-Man gets frustrated easily, like he always has. That kid’s personality was set from day 1.

He’s 100% mama’s boy. If he’s not sitting in my lap, he wants to be picked up. Then put down, then picked up again. Poor Hubby. As many sleepless nights as he’s spent with J-Man, J-Man just wants to go to me and nearly hops from Hubby’s arms to mine.

J-Man’s latest thing is climbing. He will step up on or climb on anything. Last night he finally started getting onto the couch himself. He’s a little too short so it’s a struggle for him. He’ll put one leg up and look at me and go “eh”, asking for a boost. Then he’ll get back down and do it all over again.

It’s frustrating taking J-Man out of the house. As soon as he learned to hold onto my hand, he decided that he wants to let go and run around everywhere, particularly on pavement (he seems to have a grass aversion) and wants to go up and down curbs. He’s stepping onto the stool we have in the living room and on anything that will give him a boost.

J-Man still has a love of tubes and bottle. He loves walking around with them and discovering things in my purse. He’s an expert stacker but still can’t distinguish shapes to get them through the shape sorter. Yesterday he took everything out of my wallet. He’s abandoned his love of books. Unfortunately, G-Dawg loves books and J-Man will grab them out of his hands and rush to the corner of the room with a maniacal smile, waiting for G-Dawg’s reaction.

The practical use of phones and combs are becoming apparent to J-Man. He puts my cell phone (and the video monitor) against his ear. He touches the comb to his head. Now he’s obsessed with spoons and forks, tapping them inside bowls and on plates, trying to imitate me.

G-Dawg
Speaking of books, we’ll be in the living room and G-Dawg will crawl all the way to the nursery to pull the books off the shelf and flip through them. It doesn’t matter that they’re the same pile of books, they never get old. Now he’ll point to the pictures in the picture books and say “e”, as if to ask what the pictures are called. I’m curious to know how many words he actually understands.

One of G-Dawg’s favorite games is when we sit in front of him and roll the ball back and forth. He doesn’t have a competent throw but often manages to get the ball going in the right direction. Ever since he’s seemed to understand the word “ball”, he gets super excited when we take it out and squeals and flaps with delight.

G-Dawg’s definitely catching up but still sort of acts more like a baby than a toddler. He flaps his arms and does some other random stuff. He does look to see if we’re paying attention to what he’s doing so my worries of autism are much less so nowadays.

I was starting to call G-Dawg aloof recently when my mom corrected me. “He’s independent”, she said. Perhaps she’s right. It’s not that he doesn’t care what we think but he’s not attached. He doesn’t get stranger anxiety and is perfectly happy flipping through books or playing with his activity cube (another favorite toy of his). Apparently, this is just how Hubby was when he was little. His parents didn’t have to worry about getting into trouble or breaking things. If it weren’t for J-Man, we probably wouldn’t have to baby proof much and that has nothing to do with the fact that he has gross motor delays.

G-Dawg has, however, taken to swiping and hitting us in the face. Occasionally there’s a grab and I’m reminded that his nails need to be trimmed. He shouts at J-Man when J-Man takes something from him too. Hubby worries that G-Dawg has some strange behavioral issues (he used to worry that J-Man had behavioral issues).

Eating
I also read on BabyCenter that concerns about toddlers not weighing enough are common because they seem to eat relatively little. Amen to that!

J-Man no longer picks out the food that he wants. If there’s one thing he doesn’t like (e.g. veggies and just about everything else), all of the food goes on the floor. He tests the food on the tip of his tongue before putting it in his mouth. Sometimes it has to be dropped on the floor and picked back up (another test?) to determine if it’s worthy. G-Dawg often just takes a few bites before vehemently shaking his head “no”.

I’m running out of food ideas. Things that used to work, such as pancakes, no longer work. Sometimes they like pasta, sometimes they don’t. Why they can seem fine with a meal one minute then reject it the next is beyond me.

Meals take forever, even though I try to give them simple foods. I have to make the food, cut it up, monitor their eating (i.e. preventing food from going the floor and encourage them to eat), clean up and wipe the trays. God forbid there’s sauce involved. That’s in between the 10 other things that we do in the morning and at night.

At least snacks are a little easier. Fruit is great, even dried blueberries. Unfortunately, cheerios and animal crackers no longer get them excited.

The good news is that J-Man’s pincer grip is getting better and better, so if he drops something on the floor, it’s usually deliberate!

Milk is no longer like gold in our household. The boys sip at it. I think that we exposed them to too much juice when they were sick. G-Dawg *can* drink from a 12+month cup, but he won’t usually do it. Yup, they still prefer a bottle.

Boys are Better, Finances and Feet are Not

2011-10-04T23:01:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 16 Months Old

G-Dawg is feeling SO much better. He was released from the hospital on Friday and is a totally different baby who finally slept through the night last night for the first time in over a week! J-Man wasn't feeling so great over the weekend. He was congested and was pulling at his ear. As suspected, he had an ear infection. J-Man goes back to day care tomorrow as the pediatrician had suggested we keep him out until he's better. Thank God he's sleeping better now too.

J-Man was waking up 4x a night and G-Dawg 2x a night. Between the both of them, I don't know how we got through it. Well, actually I do. Hubby is a night warrior and somehow figured out a way to put the boys back to sleep with a minimal amount of work. He says that you just need to get them used to the fact that you're not going to linger around to coddle them. We also separated the boys and G-Dawg slept in the bedroom pack and play near me. I fell asleep listening to him breathe. That part was nice.

At some point, Hubby had thought that J-Man was breathing fast and suspected that he would have to go to the hospital too. I had decided that after a $500+ hospital bill for one baby and a week's lost work (not just for me but on Hubby's iPhone game), that we could treat J-Man from home or day care. Hubby was upset with me but I was totally serious. I'm just so fed up with how quickly our bills are piling up and how much time I've had to take off of work. If Hubby didn't quit his job, he'd certainly be fired by now.

Let's break this down:

Vet bill to diagnose the cat with diabetes: $250 (and counting) - Cat is still not better and looking painfully skinny.
Insulin and needles, 25 day supply: $187 - Hubby dropped and broke the bottle and I threw my hands up in the air and crawled into bed afterwards. Luckily, I was able to get the pharmacist to give me a replacement for free by telling him that the bottle leaked. It's a miracle we remember to give the cat his meds.
Root canal and crown: ($800) - From when the dentist insisted that I had pregnancy gingivitis but I actually had a bad cavity.
Car repairs ($1800) - That's right, my car that's only worth about $2500 needs almost that in brakes, an axle, tires, and some other various things. Mechanic says we can get some good use out of it still so we're going ahead with the repairs
Condo repairs ($?) - My renter wants some windows fixed and there's mold growing in the ceiling of the storage unit.
House rental ($1750 per month that the place is unoccupied plus $1650 to rent) - The renters for our house bought their own house. And they want to get out of the lease early. At the worst part of the year.
Condo special assessment ($2000) - I've been putting this off. It's due at the end of the year and the association is being "kind" and asking me for a proposal to pay it off by the end of the year rather than demanding a lump sum. Well, with three more months left and only one of us working, I'm fresh out of ideas.

Those are just the bigger things. That doesn't include the several hundred dollars that we will owe EI for G-Dawg's PT and DI services (the co-pay will go from over $60 to $10 per session since Hubby is not working THANK GOD but the cost isn't retroactive and the bills come 2-3 months after services). That doesn't include the $1800 we're paying per month for day care while Hubby works on his game (oh, and he hasn't actually started it yet and we're in week 4). That doesn't include the insane amount of food that we seem to go through (yet we only have 50 lbs of baby in the house).

People must think that we're a bank. And we do have savings but I imagine we'll go through it quickly. I suppose that Hubby is more laid back with money than I am. I'm a saver. He's more of a spender. He transferred all of his savings into our joint account to make me feel better. It doesn't. It's moving money and it's savings, not spending money. I remember the days when I got bills for a random $10 or $50. What happened and how did things get so out of control expensive?

Also on the list of expenses are all of the meds that the boys are on. I'm not worried so much about the cost but keeping track of everything and nebulizing all the time can drive you a person batty. Luckily, the boys have seemed to get used to us shoving a continuous flow of chemicals into their face. Here' a breakdown:

- Budesonide - Asthma medication (inhaled through the nebulizer) TWICE a day for BOTH boys.
- Singular - Asthma medication that needs to be mixed with food such as applesauce
- Albuterol - Oh, albuterol, how I won't miss you. We have boxes of the stuff in all corner of the apartment from various illnesses over the last few months. Luckily, once J-Man is better, they'll be off the stuff and we won't have to give a total of 4 nebulizing treatments every morning and night (the albuterol plus the budesonide, which , by the way, is best administered seperately).
- Amoxicillin - For the ear infections. To make matter just a little bit complicated, each boy has a different prescription and dosage.
- Miralax - We haven't given it to G-Dawg in a few days. I think that the Amoxicillin, which would normally cause diahrrea, has made his poops more normal.
- Vitamins - I've forgotten this just about every day this past week. Too much to think about.
- Oripred - An anti-inflammitory to clear up the airways. This one is done so we can check one thing off o the list!

Don't even get me started about brushing their teeth.

I digress. Hubby took G-Dawg to the PT on Monday and she said that if G-Dawg's not walking by next month that she wants him to wear orthopedic shoes. She got the ball rolling since it takes a while to get them. She suggested having him wear sneakers to help him become steady on his feet. This is opposite of the advice that we got from our EI PT. Barefoot is best with him although he's not opposed to shoes once in a while.

I was kind of disappointed to hear all of this. I know that G-Dawg's feet roll outwards a bit but I was told that that may correct itself as he stands more. He pulls up once in a while but since he can get back down by himself (albeit awkwardly) he doesn't stand as much as he should. We can't stand him up against something and leave him there, knowing that he'll still be standing when we come back.

And here I thought that G-Dawg was doing so well. He's transferring into different positions as if it's second nature, crawling fast, "tenting" and seemingly trying to get his body off the floor as much as possible. He's feeding himself better too. But I guess that that's not enough as he gets older.

G-Dawg gets all excited when Hubby lays on the floor and bangs on his stomach. That's how he got G-Dawg to pull up for the first time. To our amazement, G-Dawg actually let go the other day. Hubby and I, well, our mouths just dropped open! It was for a brief second but he was trying to balance. He's so unsteady but I hold out hope that he will walk by November.

G-Dawg's little friend Z started crawling recently. I'm so happy for them! At 16 months, they can finally babyproof. They tell me that Z gets into everything now. It makes me wonder how atypical G-Dawg is. Unlike Z and J-Man, he plays by himself, not getting into any trouble at all. Sometimes he'll crawl into the nursery - to pull the books off of the shelf and flip through them. Oh yea, real trouble maker! Hubby tells me that that's how he was at that age. I'm so interested to see how alike Hubby and G-Dawg turn out to be!

Sickness Rules Again

2011-09-28T20:47:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 16 Months Old

It started on Saturday after a friend's 1st birthday. G-Dawg woke up from his nap with a cough. "Please", I thought, "let this be a passing thing. Maybe a tickle in his throat." On Sunday, my aunt noticed that he wasn't his usual bubbly self. He was kind of forlorn actually. By that evening, G-Dawg had a low fever. By Tuesday, he was coughing constantly.

Hubby took him to the doctor on Tuesday and we were given the typical albuterol treatment, along with an anti-inflammatory and antibiotics for his ear infection. G-Dawg had a chest x-ray at the hospital which came out fine, but the doctor mentioned that he may have asthma given how his cough lasts for so long. I marveled at how he was fine one hour and then the next he was not.

G-Dawg coughed all night. I felt helpless, the poor thing was miserable and just wanted to sleep. J-Man then took it upon himself to wake up around 10pm coughing, and didn't fall back to sleep until around 4am, despite Hubby's valiant effort of driving him around the neighborhood for an hour and a half.

Today the boys had their weight check-in from their last visit (they had lost weight and the doctor wanted to make sure that they were gaining). J-Man weighed in at around 25 lbs and G-Dawg at 24. Unfortunately, they were not given a clean bill of health. J-Man's chest congestion warrants some neubulizing treatment (2 medications) and an anti-inflammatory. G-Dawg had low oxygen levels so off to the ER he went.

As I type this, Hubby is with G-Dawg at the children's hospital. They are transferring them to a regular low-risk room for monitoring. G-Dawg's oxygen levels are still low and are in the 80s so he may have to sleep with an oxygen mask. They nebulized him with albuterol for a full hour using a mask. He fought a first but passed out from exhaustion.

I feel so guilty. I've been at work the past few days and let Hubby take care of the boys and bring them to their appointments. I figured that this was yet another virus and would be treated the same way. If he didn't bring them in, I probably wouldn't have. Hubby was stuck with both boys at the hospital for a few hours until I could get there. I borrowed my aunt's car and we both drove there from the city. He had to manage G-Dawg and J-Man by himself. And now, on top of everything, I've left him and G-Dawg there all alone in the hospital.

I already cancelled plans to have Rosh Hashanuh dinner at a friend's house. This is probably the 3rd or 4th time that I've cancelled due to one of us being sick. I'm sure that she thinks that we're hypochondriacs by now.

What also worries me is that we have to pay for day care and the boys weren't even there most of the week. On top of that, G-Dawg's hospital bills will be well over $500. And on top of that, Hubby is getting nothing done this week in terms of development work on his game. The bills keep on adding up. I just don't know how people do this, especially blue collar workers. They must know something that I don't.

A First Word, a First Molar, and Some Bad News

2011-09-25T20:07:00.001-04:00

The Boys are 16 Months Old

It turns out that J-Man WAS waking up for a reason last week. He has a MOLAR popping through! The first top two teeth are only halfway in so a molar was totally unexpected, but Hubby discovered the big, gruesome structure and I would never have thought to check. J-Man has been sleeping better since the discovery so hopefully we'll get a break, especially because G-Dawg is sick again (typical coughing and fever) and we have a long week ahead of us.

More importantly. the boys BOTH decided to say "bubble" on Saturday! First, J-Man said it loud and clear while I was reading a book about bubbles. Hubby even heard it from the other room! Since then, he sometimes babbles "bubble". He's said it again but not as clear. Hubby also thinks that J-Man said "dog" (even though he's met few dogs in his life) and occasionally it seems like he may be saying "dada" with meaning.

G-Dawg says "bubble" more consistently (whenever he actually sees a bubble) but it sounds more like "baba". It's better than the "deedee" sound that he used to make every time he saw a bubble. "Ear" may have been his real first word but it's so hard to tell if he's really trying to say "ear" when he says "E" and points to my ear".

On a sad note, we found out that my cat has diabetes. He was drinking and peeing inordinate amounts of water. Hubby can barely keep up with the litter box and we had to refill the water fountain several times a day.

We're doing the minimum which is giving him 2 units of insulin 2x a day and monitoring his glucose levels. To my shock, the supplies cost $187 for a 25 day supply. I often think about how great it would be if we didn't have to worry about the cats on top of the boys so it's ironic that now I'm stuck shelling out so much money to keep him alive. No more pets for us. That's it! Hopefully the cat gets better, though ,because the truth is that after having him for almost 13 years, I can't imagine him not being in my life.

Sick

2011-09-20T22:20:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 16 Months Old

Once again, sickness was the main theme of the weekend. This time, it was me that was the sicky.

On Friday, I took boys to the play gym for a music class and to meet up with some friends. I had organized the get together for my mom’s group weeks ago and blew off a work meeting to go. The meeting would not have benefited from my being there so I really didn’t feel too bad about it.

We had a good time and J-Man ran all over the place as usual. Some friends were super sweet and helped with G-Dawg while I chased after him. G-Dawg is always everyone’s favorite. He’s so smiley and friendly.

By the time I got home, my whole body was aching. I cursed my stupidity for bringing both of the boys. Another woman from my group only brought one of her twin boys and I should have done the same. I chalked my soreness to the return of my period (yay!) coupled with my out of shape body running after the boys more than usual.

I couldn’t get the boys to bed fast enough. That night, I started getting cold. Hubby swore that it was warm in the apartment but I was shivering. Valiant Hubby rubbing my legs TWICE (they are always the most sore when I get like this) and put me to bed under 3 blankets. I woke up periodically throughout the night, sweating and feeling terrible, never thinking that I’d fall back to sleep. Eventually I woke up at noon.

I cancelled the boys FIRST photo shoot, we didn’t go to a birthday party, and a friend f mine went out alone with her husband instead of on a double-date with us. I was disappointed to miss out but so thankful that Hubby took over and let me sleep.

On Sunday, I absolutely had to get out of the house so we took the boys to a local arts festival and the park (with a nap inbetween). We had so much fun at the arts festival. We danced with the boys and they had big smiles on their faces. A photographer took our picture and I wonder if we got in the local paper. I got a “deal” on a designer shirt for the boys (I’ve been trying to stock up on summer clearance items for next summer). I got three $5 handmade paintings for the boys’ room and we had some yummy Thai food.

I snapped some great photos of J-Man walking around the outside seating area of the Thai restaurant (bamboo and flowers was the backdrop). To make up for our missed photo shoot, we took pictures of the boys on the lawn. G-Dawg slouches so much still that he always looks short and rotund in pictures, especially this time because he had a jacket on. Very frustrating. And concerning.

J-Man looking fly in an outfit that happened to come together perfectly.

G-Dawg (left) and J-Man (right) - G-Dawg Slouching as Always

I hope that G-Dawg doesn’t grow up to slouch like I do. I’ve had doctors tell me that I’m going to be that little old lady with the hump and I’m not sure there’s much I can do about that. In fact, I now wonder if I also have low tone which explains why it takes so much effort for me to sit up straight.

Later that day at the playground, J-Man insisted on running about on the concrete, much to Hubby’s dismay. As always, he found stepping up and down and over blocks most exciting. He’s getting good at climbing and went all the way up the playground structure (not sure what it’s called!) almost by himself. He didn’t seem to understand that he could walk around the side of the structure to go up the shallow stairs with a rail, even though I showed him a bunch of times.

We took G-Dawg to the top of the structure and he became enthralled with one of the bolts and stuck his neck and tongue out several times to get a taste. It was pretty funny but kind of concerning at the same time. Did he think it was a snack? I tried to walk him around and he pushed me away! I was kind of hurt. Not only does the boy not come up to me or show affection but now he pushes me away? *sigh*

G-Dawg Taking a Savory Lick

My Boy Looks so Grown-Up in Pictures

That night I didn’t sleep so I worked from home on Monday. It wasn’t just because J-Man woke up several times throughout the night. For some reason I just wasn’t tired.

Last night both of the boys took turns waking up. Hubby and I were nearly out of our minds. They weren’t hungry or unusually wet. They weren’t hot or cold (that I know of). J-Man was upset and writhing out of my arms then he quickly fell into a deep sleep. It makes me wonder if he’s already having night terrors. G-Dawg would fall asleep in our arms and then wake up and cry when we put him back down. Neither seemed like they were having teething pain but I guess that is possible. G-Dawg’s 5th and 6th teeth have already broken through and J-Man’s first top two are show more every day. I wonder if more are following after.

How I’m functioning today is a mystery and my throat is still sore. I hope that one day in a far away land, the boys will decide to sleep 12 hours straight. Uninterrupted. I truly believe now that anyone that says that their kid sleeps for 12 hours straight without getting up is a liar.

G-Dawg Pulled Himself Up!

2011-09-15T21:28:00.003-04:00

The Boys are 16 Months Old

There's something about Hubby laying on the floor and banging on his belly like a drum that gets G-Dawg all excited. G-Dawg practically lept out of my lap and onto Hubby last night. Then he pulled himself up and crawled on top of him! Yes, pulled himself up, as in he was standing on two feet, bending over Hubby. Hubby didn't realize at first because it was so subtle, but we clapped and "yayed" and G-Dawg was like "huh"?

Later that night, G-Dawg was still wound up and had trouble falling asleep. Hubby and I watched on the video monitor, totally amused. G-Dawg started throwing his burp clothes over the side of the crib! J-Man will wave the burpies over the side of the crib like they're flags then drop them over to get attention, but he's been doing that for months. This was a first for G-Dawg.

We laughed and continued to watch. G-Dawg finally made his way to the side of the crib and pulled himself up. Hubby and I ran in, super excited! He didn't seem to know why we were running in and J-Man popped up, all confused and irritated that we weren't picking him up. J-Man quieted down (he falls asleep easily after spending the day in the toddler room). I rocked G-Dawg to sleep, and he quickly passed out in my arms.

Strangely enough, ever since G-Dawg started spending time in the young toddler room, he's become more temperamental. He shakes his head no when he doesn't want something. At first it was a game. He'd shake his head, then I'd shake my head, then J-Man would shake his head and so forth and everyone would have a good laugh. I never taught G-Dawg to shake his head "no", however he's doing it now when he doesn't want something. If he shakes his head and I put food in his mouth anyway, he spits it out all over himself. After several episodes, I'm pretty sure that he's shaking his head to say "no" and not for fun. At least that's what Hubby and the DI think.

G-Dawg now moans loudly when he doesn't like something or when J-Man tries to grab something away from him. In fact, G-Dawg is doing a lot of the grabbing these days. The DI instructed us to make him point to things that he wants and if he gets frustrated, to hold up two items and ask him to point to which one he wants. Apparently, if we just give him what he wants every time he groans, he'll never learn to properly ask for things. He also wants us to have G-Dawg put thing away before moving to a new toy because he has a tendency to quickly go from one activity to another.

When I go to G-Dawg in the morning, he cries immediately. When we walk through the door at the end of the day, he cries. When I change him, he cries. Maybe he's just getting out some pent up frustration from being so sweet and gentle for so long?

I just get the overall sense that G-Dawg is angry about something. I swear that sometimes he's giving me mean looks. It's not like he's scrunching up his face or anything, but it's just a look that's devoid of smiles or amusement. And when I get him to smile, it's often brief.

I'm sure that my sweet little boy is still in there, I just hope that the toddler aren't sucking the life out of him at day care. I must drop in one day and see what a day is like there. I felt so comfortable with the nursery that I feel a little out of my league.

Boys' First Haircut, Seeing Family, Hubby's Employment, and the Toddler Room

2011-09-13T21:12:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 16 Months Old

We had a great weekend and finally got to see Hubby's parents and hang out with my friend D.

Our first stop was having lunch with Hubby's dad. We went out to eat and the server handed the boys some crayons and paper. Wouldn't you know that J-Man started touching the tips of the crayons to the paper! He's been imitating a lot lately. Even today he insisted on taking my fork and spearing some pasta with it.

Afterwards, we went to Hubby's dad's house. When he asked that we come over, we knew something was up. The whole house was expanded upon. A carport, a sun room, a deck. The neighbors aren't happy as he lives in a development where all the homes are alike. Clearly, cancer has not slowed him down and he's been making use out of some of the employees that work for his construction business.

What was surprising were all of the people in the house. My FIL has been known for taking in woman that need help, but this was a little much. The girl that's staying with him is 18 years old and has an 18 month old daughter. She's sweet in a way and seems like a good person in a bad situation. She's on probation (I forget why) and isn't allowed to leave the house. She could use some direction and smokes around the child which I'm not thrilled about.

My FIL is giving her, her daughter, and her friends (a woman, her boyfriend, and their child) a place to live. He's charging the couple rent but not the girl. Hubby thinks that she's doing something to return the favor. I put it out of my mind hoping that it's not true. Supposedly her mom kicked her out but I'm not sure if I'm buying it.

The 18 month old was running around in a plain white onesie that wasn't buttoned up. This calls for a trip to the store. Anything to shop for some girl clothes (which I've never done).

J-Man had a grand old time running from the sun room to the kitchen. There's a threshold in between the rooms and he was very proud that he could get back and forth.

We made our way to D's house where the boys enjoyed lots of cool toys and a dip in the pool. D has the sweetest kids EVER. When J-Man went up and down the stairs (for the first time!), D's daughter supervised. J-Man did really well but became obsessed with the stairs. We don't have any in our apartment and D's daughter asked why...so cute!

Hubby played with her two kids (6 and 3 I believe) amazing well. I got a glimpse into our future and my heart melted seeing how they took to him immediately. In the 6 years that we've been together, I don't think that I've ever seen Hubby interact with kids that way (except babies). Before we had kids, Hubby didn't have any interest. Now he gets all excited to hold and play with babies. If a child is crying in day care, he picks them up. How did I get so lucky?!

We then headed to my MIL's house. Hubby's stepdad hadn't seen the boys since they were born. Cancer has taken a toll on him. Instead of looking like he's about to give birth to triplets, it looks like he's just having a singleton. He held G-Dawg and seemed genuinely interested at times and disinterested (e.g. changing the channel) at other times. It angers me that my MIL takes such good care of him when she's the one that someone should dote over. She waits on that man hand and foot.

Regardless, Hubby was happy to show the boys off to his stepdad. I thought that the boys would be interested in the dog but they didn't seem to care. Perhaps they were tired from the full day.

We made our final stop at the hotel where we got a free upgrade to a 2 bedroom suite! Despite some car trouble, my MIL was able to stay with us and we had plenty of space to spread out. The boys slept amazingly well and we had a great time. J-Man had fun walking around with the garbage pail and G-Dawg enjoyed the floor-to-ceiling mirror (it's the little things).

My MIL "just happened" to have her hair trimming scissors with her. Hubby swears that he didn't put her up to it. Why she carries them around with her I'll never know (she did used to be a hairdresser so perhaps she cuts other people's hair). With her help, we gave the boys their first haircut! Hubby didn't watch - he was out buying diapers - I swear that we always run out.

As you can see below, J-Man wasn't too pleased. We cut a little off the top so that he wouldn't have a tuft of hair in his face. I cringed as my MIL cut. We also cut G-Dawg's bangs and sideburns so that they weren't in his face. The therapists already noticed the difference but noone has said that it looks good! I'm not quite sure if I like the cut even though it's not too dramatic. We saved the cut hair for our momento box.

I'll have to get a better picture. This weekend we take the boys for their first photo shoot. It's a quick 30 minute session but I'm hoping to get a few good shots. I'm thinking about getting G-Dawg some baby hair gel.

And finally, there are some firsts this week. This is Hubby's first week being self-employed. He quit his job a few weeks back. It wasn't the right fit and he was miserable. He has 4 months to follow his dream of writing an iPhone game. I was nervous at first but since the decision has been made, I've been surprisingly at peace wtih the idea. Everyone should be given the opportunity to pursue their dream and he'll never know if he can succeed if he doesn't try. I know that he would do it for me in a heartbeat, so I'm trying to be supportive.

We haven't really cut our spending which we should. The boys are still in day care. This does allow me more flexibility with my job (not that I necessarily want to spend more time at work).

Day care costs will go down a whopping $5 a week because the boys started their first full week in the young toddler room this week. They tell me that the boys are doing well, although I did find out later that last week when they moved J-Man during to the new room during the day, he cried for a few minutes.

I love picking J-Man up and seeing him outside, though usually I find someone holding him. When I take him to the playground these days, he loves running around but I guess that he has to get used to the bigger kids being there. Today they took G-Dawg outside too. The boys were filthy when they got home Totally worth it but I hope that we don't have to go back to a bath every night!

Boys Moving to Toddler Room and Doing Big Boy Things

2011-09-08T21:54:00.001-04:00

The Boys are 15 Months Old
I got a call from the day care on Wednesday. The director said her usual "everything's okay, it's not an emergency" as I answered the phone. Of course, my first thought is that one of the boys has come down with something again.
As it turns out, the boys are really enjoying the young toddler room and she wanted to know if it's okay to move BOTH of them up next week. Yes, both...as in, including G-Dawg! Of course I said yes. I'm not only happy for G-Dawg but I'm also happy not to have to bring two sets of stuff with them. They're going to use a stroller to take G-Dawg out during outdoor time (it's been raining nonstop so that hasn't happened yet).
I'm hoping to catch the director to understand why they decided to move G-Dawg up. My guess is that it had to do with a mixture of sympathy and really making it easier on everyone not shuttling him in between rooms for certain activities.
So far, J-Man's new sneakers have gotten some good use. I bring them in every day. I can kick myself because Stride Rite had a buy 1 get one 50% off sale which we didn't take advantage of and I should have bought one pair just for day care. No worries, though, I'm in shoe shopping heaven and have already order J-Man a pair of Keens and Gymboree sandals on eBay. I've discovered that the one thing that I like about boy's attire is the shoes. I've always liked men's shoes better than woman's...and these are so darn cute! I wish they lasted longer, I'd stock up for sure. Hubby would have a fit.
J-Man has undergone some changes in these past few weeks. He's FINALLY (yes, I'm saying "finally"!) pointing, waving, and doing peek-a-boo. No words yet but I very much appreciate the reciprocity! MONTHS of waving like a crazy lady finally paid off, although he's not consistent.
The other thing that I've noticed is that J-Man is not all over food like he used to be. Not only has he become a picky eater, but he no longer throws a tantrum the minute that he sees food. I can actually eat in peace now.
The only thing that he cries for is his milk (as always). He'll also drink tons of water and drink pediasure from a straw. So if it's liquid, he's good. But most days, he'll take a piece of food, throw it to the ground, pick it up, and very lightly touch his lips with it. Then he throws it to the ground again. He's very cautious. And if I add veggies to the mix, he won't eat any of the food. Yesterday, he took peas out of my hand and walked them over the Hubby and put them in his mouth, one by one.

After the pediatrician noted that he needs to continue gaining weight, I've been giving him whatever I can to get him to eat. The only guaranteed eats are bananas, some Cherios, cheese Pediasure, and some fruits, particularly blueberries. In fact, he's more likely to eat nasty jarred food over some of the yummies that I cook.
Lately, J-Man's attached himself to me. I mean, he's always been fairly clingy and loving towards his mommy but now he comes and sits in my lap. Once he brought a book over...my heart melts.
G-Dawg has made some progress as well. He's not pulling up yet as we expected but I think that he lacks the motivation now that can stand on his knees. However, yesterday, he started tenting. Yes, tenting. Arms and feet flat on his ground with his butt in the air!! What does this mean? Could it be possible that he's trying to stand up without pulling up?? Imagine! I'm curious to see what the PT has to say tomorrow.

All this moving around and the Miralax hasn't helped G-Dawg's constipation though. After he got home tonight, it was a constant poopfest. The poor guy has such a sad expression when he poops. He pulls his legs together and bends them at the knee. His face turns red and he squeezes.
I cleaned out 3 pebble poops, the last of which I sort of had to pull out of his butt. I put him to bed and 10 minutes later he was crying. I checked the diaper. There was another pebble poop but there was also a bit stuck in his butt again. As I pulled it, a HUGE adult-sized, hard poop emerged. Imagine the shocked look on my face. Poor poor G-Dawg. I'm calling the pedi tomorrow to see if we can start Miralax daily.
In honor of the boys' toddlerhood, I took it upon myself to buy them a toy that a friend of mine introduced me to, the Fisher Price Home. They love this! I thought that Hubby would have a heart attack after seeing how big it is (and we JUST got rid of the play yard) but he seems delighted.

One final note of the day. Last night I gave the boys their first big boy bath in the big boy bath tub at the same time (I still bathe them individually in the baby bath tub). G-Dawg LOVED it as suspected. J-Man, not so much. He was ALL tears, despite the exciting new bath toy that my cousin gave us this past weekend.
The logistics of giving two a bath at the same time are beyond me. I had to let J-Man run around naked twice so as not to leave one boy in the bathtub alone. I was tempting fate but no pee touched the ground as far as I'm aware. I think I'll go back to the baby tub for now. I just don't have the energy to figure out how to bathe them at once!

2011-09-08T21:00:00.001-04:00

The Boys are 15 Months Old

I don’t want to jinx it but the boys seem to be doing much better. No more coughing, no more wheezing, and no more fevers.

This Labor Day weekend we decided to go with a friend to the beach and take advantage of the last “summer” weekend of 2011. The boys faired pretty well. J-Man had fun running his hands through the sand. He tried putting sand in his mouth once. I'm fairly certain that that will be his first and last time eating sand!

Our friends brought a big tent and we had a small pop-up one that is probably meant for only one baby. I didn’t want to monopolize their big tent so while the boys played in the shade, my back baked under the sun. I think that I get sunburn about once a year so I guess that this was my time.

We walked by a crafts fair and my friend had to stop at every booth that sold hair ribbons. Her daughter is 11 months old and she puts these ridiculous hair clips in her hair. She had stopped by the previous day to pick up our play yard that (we don’t use it anymore) and she put a hair clip in G-Dawg’s hair. I have to admit that it was cute. And it looked much better in his hair that in her daughters! G-Dawg doesn’t need the hair clip, though. Three times throughout the day, people assumed that we had boy/girl twins.

At one point during the day, we watched her daughter while her and her husband retreived the beach gear out of their car. Two on-lookers thought that we had triplets. One woman, upon telling her that she’s a friend’s daughter, said that she was going to gesture the sign of the cross. Okay, “crossing her chest” is probably not the right term, but it’s where someone touches their forehead, chest, and then the two sides of their chest. It’s a religious gesture. Wow, triplets are obviously more difficult than twins but that’s a bit much!

We saw Hubby’s aunt, uncle, and cousin afterwards. By the time we came back I was exhausted. Even though the boys are feeling better, I had something going on this past week. It started with cramps. It felt sort of like period cramps but worse. I’ve had a significant amount of discharge as well. Then came the diarrhea. Now that the boys are sleeping better (well, J-Man wakes up occasionally from teething pain – his first top teeth are coming in), I was not sleeping better and had to wake up several times to go to the bathroom. It was all very strange and I have no explanation for it. I realized recently that I haven’t had my period in a while. Could I be hyper-ovulating? Are my hormones all wacky from going off of the pill a few months ago? When I realized that it had been a while, I took a pregnancy test and it was negative. I went off of the pill because, frankly, sex has taken a back seat to sleeping and it didn’t make a lot of sense to stay on it. Needless to say, I’m perplexed and will bring it up at my annual check-up with the GYN. But Hubby’s a bit worried about me potentially being pregnant. My gut says that I’m not. I just hope that my body resumes normal operation soon. On Sunday, we joined my aunt, my mom, and my aunt’s husband in spreading my grandparent’s ashes. While my mom and aunt said goodbye, I held back tears. There’s a large hill and park next to where my grandparents lived and we picked a pretty, secluded tree to spread the ashes. My mom brought some flowers (my grandmother loved flowers) to lie on the ground. Afterwards, we fed the birds some bread, something that my grandfather enjoyed doing. The boys didn’t really understand and weren’t interested in the birds. I squeezed J-Man’s feet into some hand-me-down sandals that are too small for him and he walked all over the place. He enjoyed holding my hand and pulling me around. It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year since my grandmother passed away. Just about a year ago, the boys were finally big enough for us to feel comfortable taking them out of the house. Looking at pictures of when she met them, they were still so small yet at the time they seemed so big. My last visit to the nursing home sticks in my head. My grandmother had passed away just a few hours beforehand and she was laying in her bed. She was just a shrunken shell of her former self. In my head when I think of that visit, all that I picture is a skeleton without any flesh. I hear her asking “this is a bad dream, isn’t it?”. I had responded “Yes, It’s a terrible, awful dream.” I always wonder if there was something else that I could have said to her at that time to make the fear go away, but nothing ever comes to mind. I wish and hope that she could see how excited J-Man was this weekend to be running around outdoors (see pics the top of this post). I wish that she could have seen him pulling me in all directions or how happy he was yesterday to be running around in the first real pair of shoes that we bought for him. I’m grateful that she got to meet them but I feel like she didn’t REALLY get to meet them. She didn’t get to see what their personalities are like. My aunt thinks that my grandparents can see what’s going. I can only believe that she’s right. NOTE: This post was written a few days ago and I'm just getting around to posting it.

J-Man is Movin' On Up

2011-09-04T20:54:00.000-04:00

The Boy are 15 Months Old

After speaking with some of the girls that work in the nursery and learning that the little man that J-Man runs around with will be moving up, Hubby and I made the difficult decision to move J-Man up to the young toddler's group. Well, to be fair, I believe that it was me that grappled with the decision, not Hubby.

Even though J-Man has been walking for less than a month, he's pretty much given up crawling (except when playing with his brother) and is a whirlwind of activity. The girls thought that he'd be bored and that the scheduled activity would be better for him. I commend their waiting for me to ask about it before intruding with their opinion.

During the conversation, it made me sad that they didn't say anything about G-Dawg being bored. I mean, the boy is actually further ahead in some areas than J-Man (J-Man just started pointing the other day and clapping when you ask him to).

The kids are separated by whether or not they can walk. It doesn't make much sense to me. I mean, a child can start walking at 9 months or 24 months yet they may be at totally different cognitive levels. Up until now, I've raved about day care but this really pisses me off. It does seem like all the other babies in the class start walking before a year old but all the time I hear about late walkers and crawlers and they must have them occasionally. Holding kids back because they're late walkers isn't fair to anyone.

On the bright side, the day care agreed the to put G-Dawg in the young toddlers class to participate in circle time and some other activities. They'll "try" to bring him outside but the outdoor play area is really meant for walkers. I'd hate to think that G-Dawg was deprived of mobility (because he crawled late) AND sunlight. So I'm pushing for G-Dawg to get outside and may even leave our single stroller there to encourage them to take him outside.

Next week J-Man begins the transition. They'll first put him on the young toddlers schedule then put him in the room for an hour a day. If it works out, then he'll be in the next class up the week after.

The idea of J-Man getting only one nap a day (and a late nap at that) is my biggest worry. The boy popped the paci in his mouth around 9am this morning and laid down on the floor with his burp cloth, signaling that he was tired. He would have been down for a nap by 9:15 if we hadn't left the house (he slept in the car right away). So how he's going to get to 12 and wake up at 2 is beyond me. I suppose that it's their problem but I don't like my little boy to be forced to stay awake when he's tired. They've told me that if he gets really tired and is falling asleep that they'll put him to sleep early but why wait until he's falling over?

My next worry is that now we have to keep track of two sets of everything: food, diapers, wipes, clothes, etc. I'm hoping that the daycare will coordinate so I can drop off one set of things.

So, my little boys are growing up. It's funny because Hubby just came to me and said that sometimes he'll be going about his business after the boys are asleep and out of the blue think "Oh my god, I have kids!" Me? I think "Oh my god, I have really, live, little people!" In other words, I don't have babies anymore.

Developmental Pediatrician Write-Up

2011-08-28T22:20:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 15 Months Old

G-Dawg had his appointment with the developmental pediatrician over a month ago, yet we just received his study write-up in the mail. The evaluation was conducted on 7/18 and it's already so out of date...in a good way! Here is what the write-up says:

"G-Dawg is a 14 months old infant who was referred for a developmental pediatric evaluation. G-Dawg is one of a set of premature twins with a history of mostly motor concerns and poor eye contact. G-Dawg i not responding to his name; however, he made some recent good progress. Early Intervention Service based on a history of prematurity were started at around 9 months of age and G-Dawg is currently provided with physical therapy and DI services once per week each. He is also provided with physical therapy service at the ___. A PT evaluation in July of this year noted weakness, reduced trunk control, and joint hypermobility with low muscle tone and motor deficits. Physical therapy service and evaluation by developmental pediatrician were recommended. G-Dawg started rolling over since about 9 months from belly to back and started rolling over from back to belly since about 13 months. He is not yet crawling. He may maintain a sitting posture and has supportive reflexes. He also has been side sitting since about 10 months of age. G-Dawg is not yet standing independently yet. He may stand propped against a surface and he may turn himself around. G-Dawg does not wave or point. He doe not cuddle. He has no stranger anxiety. He may flap his arms an has a low tone pattern. An audiogram was done in April of 2011 to assess his hearing status and reportedly yielded normal outcomes.

Past Medical History: G-Dawg was one of two premature twin boys delivered at 32 weeks gestation to a 32-year-old woman who had a history of premature labor and was placed on progesterone during the pregnancy as well as on bed rest and also had an emergency cerclage placed at 23 weeks gestation. C-section occurred at around 32 weeks gestation and G-Dawg's birth weight was 4 pounds 4 ounces. His Apgar core was 8 and 9 and 1 and 5 minutes respectively. G-Dawg had some slow sucking and swallowing. However, he had a normal ultrasound of the brain and audiogram at 11 months of age was also normal. The twin brother's birth weight was 4 pounds and 4 ounces. His development so far has been typical and he is almost walking. G-Dawg was seen by a neurologist in July of 2011. At that time he had an ultrasound of the brain and also was referred for genetic testing such a karyotype and fragile X; however, the lab technician has been unable to draw the bloods. G-Dawg also saw a neurosurgeon. An ultrasound reportedly noted some extra fluid, however, was overall not significantly abnormal. G-Dawg has been rolling over since 9 months of age to 13 months of age. He is standing propped up and he maintains a sitting balance. G-Dawg is on no chronic medication. He has a history of reflux and was seen by a GI specialist.

Family and Social History: G-Dawg's mother is 34 years of age. She has a college degree and works full time as a manager. G-Dawg's father is 36 years of age. He is employed in IT technology. Maternal grandmother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She is 60 years of age. The maternal grandfather was diagnosed with mental health issues. Th same aged 14-month twin brother is in good health with no developmental concerns.

PHYSICAL EXAMINATION:

Height: 74-1/2 cm./ Weight: 25 pounds / head Circumference: 49 cm.

he had somewhat distinctive features due to blue eyes, fair skin, and curly blond hair. He had a broad forehead with a flat occiput. G-Dawg was noted to hold his bottle with both hands and was drinking from it. He used a thumb finger palmar grasp for picking up cheerios and he was using both hands. Chest examination was clear. Abdomen was soft and extremity examination was symmetrical.

NEUROLOGICAL EXAMINATION:

On neurological assessment, G-Dawg was cooperative. Cover test was negative. Deep tendon reflexes were 1 to 2+. He had significantly low muscle tone with joint hypermobility noted. His plantar responses were downgoing bilaterally. At no time were any seizures noted.

NEUROLOGICAL TESTING:

On further neurodevelopmental assessment, G-Dawg was overall cooperative. He was holding and touching blocks. he turned pages in a picture book. he did not point to body parts yet. He cried when he wanted his bottle with milk and stopped crying when it was given to him. G-Dawg did not point to the light. He did not point to his mother and also would not use a finger point to point for items of his wants and he was crying instead. Range of motion was increased for both upper and lower extremities.

On further neurodevelopmental assessment, G-Dawg smiled; however, he would not follow instructions. Some repetitive vocalization such as "digi digi daga" was overheard.

On the Capute Scales assessing hi language and problem solving skills, the following scores were noted: G-Dawg was holding and transferring a ring. He made some vocalizations and searching for dropped objects. He transferred and was holding blocks with both hands. He used a palmar grasp/scissor grasp. he reportedly understands "no" and oriented towards the bell. His language age equivalent is at a 9-1/2 month level. The CLAMS DQ was 80 within the low average range using a corrected age of 12 month for reference. The problem solving age equivalent is at the 11 months level. The CAT DQ was 92. The full-scale development quotient was 86 using the corrected age of 12 months, which is within average range. G-Dawg was given credit for releasing a cube into a cup, fingering the pegboard, combining a cube with a cup, and retrieving an item form behind a plexiglass screen.

DIAGNOSTIC IMPRESSIONS:

1. Mostly motor deficits with joint hypermobility and hypotonia (781.3)

2. Status post prematurity (765.10)

3. Borderline language delays and atypical vocalization

RECOMMENDATIONS:

1. Close monitoring of overall developmental progress and continued provision of Early Intervention Services to include physical therapy, DI, and implementation of speech-language therapy services as indicated.

2. Follow up with developmental pediatrician to monitor progress.

3. Continue physical therapy sessions privately."

The first time I read this, I was impressed with how thorough the write-up was. As I typed it though, I not only realized how much redundancy there was in the write-up but there are several inaccuracies. I'm not worried, though. The report would sound a lot different if G-Dawg were test today and it's only been a little more than a month.

We Survived the Big Storm

2011-08-28T20:21:00.001-04:00

The Boy are 15 Months Old

We were ready for disaster. The cabinets were stocked with Pop Tarts, Ho Hos, and Chef Boyardee. The windows were marked with an "X" with painter's tape. Instead of protecting us from wind, I gather that it made us a target for onlookers who thought that perhaps we were silly to be so overly cautious. After all, we're not right on the river,we're a few blocks away.

The bathtub was filled with water but it slowly leaked out by the time went to bed. The boys soundly slept in their pack n plays in our bedroom as far away from the windows as possible.

I got up once to nebulize G-Dawg through the pack-n-play mesh around 2am when he had a coughing fit. Miraculously he didn't wake up but somehow I managed to do everything but blow actual albuterol in his face. I swear that I filled up the nebulizer attachment. The container was open and empty on the table in the morning. Yet the attachment and hose were dry (Hubby's always drying the tube out) and I didn't see much steam come out. But it was dark and I was tired. I feel like at least I put in the effort. G-Dawg, despite all the meds and treatment, is still coughing and congested.

The boys and us slept until an astonishing 6:30am and we all slept through the wind and rain. At 8:30, right around the time that the storm was supposed to peak, I lazily fell asleep - until 1! I opened my eyes up once and it was storming...I opened my eyes up again and it was bright and sunny. The ground is soggy and there are leaves and some branches on the street but it's not so bad.

We had debated staying at a friend's house who lives further away from the river. They called for voluntary evacuations at 4pm yesterday (why so late I'll never know) and by 6pm, I was on the phone with a friend of mine down the street debating what to do last minute (we both stayed put).

Since our plans were cancelled, we had lunch with that friend on Saturday amidst preparations. Then we had lunch with her and other friends on Sunday - we all had a bit of cabin fever and no other plans. I'm planning a girl's gambling weekend which I'm super excited about.

Tomorrow the office is closed. I hope to see the dentist about this tooth that's been bothering me (the same one that was in question while I was pregnant - of course). That is, if the day care is open.

I feel for all of the people for whom the storm really has effected but I have to say that the whole thing was quite fun. Shopping, having lunch with friends, listening to the rain, spending time with the boys, having off of work. Not such a bad weekend after all.

And the boys had an eventful first year. Their first earthqake, their first hurricane and one hell of a blizzardy winter. Supposedly it's been a record-breaking summer in terms of heat too but I'd never know, I'm always indoors.

Twin Love Part V

2011-08-28T20:10:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 15 Months Old

For more twin love, see
Twin Love Part 1
Twin Love Part II
Twin Love Part III
Twin Love Part IV

Now that the boys are entering toddlerhood, I feel it that it's time for another twin love update. What I love about the boys...

J-Man

I love how J-Man holds one arm up in the air with a big grin while walking all over the place. Often, he has some object in one arm and is smiling like he's getting away with something.
I love how J-Man holds his arms up for me to pick him up (although now he's up and down, up and down all the time).
I love how when J-Man's tired, he puts the paci in his mouth and walks around with the burp cloth against his face.
I love how J-Man immediately relaxes when I give him a paci and burp cloth and sit with him in the glider.
I love how even though J-Man is in the middle of getting all upset and crying when I'm about to leave him at day care, he continues to shovel his morning snacks into his mouth.
I love that J-Man is ticklish. His laugh is contagious.
I love the look on J-Man's face and how he comes running with his arms out to me when I pick him up at day care.
I love how J-Man relaxes when I rub his head. I like rubbing his head and belly and legs so that he knows how much he's loved.
I love how J-Man gets a kick out of me raising my eyebrows.
I love it when J-Man smiles with the paci in his mouth and he manages to keep it in there.
Hubby loves J-Man's cool attitude.
I simply love my mama's boy.

G-Dawg

I love it when I ask G-Dawg where my ear is and he proudly points to me ear and says "e".
I love how G-Dawg proudly points to any part of my face when I ask for it.
I love how G-Dawg could be upset but will still point to a part of my face when I ask for it.
I love watching G-Dawg feed himself. He puts one hand on top of the other and moves his face around to get something into his mouth (his aim isn't perfect yet). He also snatches food out of my hands and shoves it in his mouth when he's hungry.
I love how when G-Dawg gets excited he sometimes spins around in circles while sitting on the floor.
I love how when G-Dawg puts his lips together, the top of his mouth juts out and he looks all goofy with his top teeth sticking out (it looks like he has an overbite).
I love how when Hubby is laying on the floor, G-Dawg comes up to him, gets on his knees, and bangs on Hubby's chest, laughing hysterically and squealing.
I love how G-Dawg crawls up to me when I'm sitting on a chair or on the couch and looks up to me.
I love when G-Dawg purses his lips. I'm trying to get him to make a kissy face and blow kisses on command.
I simply love watching G-Dawg crawl and explore. It amazes me every day to see him mobile.
I love how G-Dawg rolls over when I put him to bed and puts his butt up in the air.
I love how G-Dawg reacts enthusiastically to Wolfy.
Hubby loves G-Dawg's sense of amazement of everything. G-Dawg seems to appreciate getting to experience things and is very attentive (whereas J-Man gets more excited by his place in the world and running around with bottles, tubes, and sippys doing what he wants).

Both Boys

I love how the boys are starting to interact and laugh with eachother. G-Dawg laughs when J-Man shoves his hand in G-Dawg's face. It's the most wonderful thing in the world to watch.
I love how both boys are near each other and facing away from me, all I see are curls.
I love how when I'm done driving somewhere with the boys, when I get out of the car and peek into the backseat, they're both smiling at me.
I love handing food to the boys when we're driving. I reach back, not looking, and hand them some food (e.g. a french fry) and a little hand grabs it out of my hand.

Come On Irene

2011-08-26T21:56:00.001-04:00

The Boys are 15 Months Old

I guess that I shouldn't be surprised that our weekend plans have gone to shit. I mean, after the last several weekends, I should know by now that we're literally never getting out of the house during the summer. Like, ever. Now that the boys are somewhat better (although the pediatrician does say that they're contagious), Ms. get-out-of-the-fucking-way Irene rears her ugly head. That's Sunday. And it's going to rain on Saturday while people are evacuating.

We're staying put, us badasses. After the boys' 15 month check-up and G-Dawg's PT, I lugged the boys to the local Target to pick up some supplies. We snatched up as much of the remaining water as we could fit in the cart (i.e. one case). J-Man had fun amongst the Diet Coke and Cheddar Bunnies. Note the overpriced Pediasure a the bottom of the cart. Somehow even though the name "Pedia" is in "Pediasure", I still feel like I'm buying some type of geriatric product. The place was such a madhouse that a woman at the door checked my receipt and told me that J-Man needs to be sitting in the car (which he didn't - try to picture me holding him while pulling the shopping cart).

A friend that's further away from the river offered her basement which has an extra bed for us to stay. It was so sweet of her, especially knowing that the boys are contagious. Depending on what the latest news is tomorrow, we may take her up on that. It could actually be fun but I fear that we won't be able to get home after the storm.

Despite the potential destruction, I must say that I find the thought of a hurricane exciting. I remember there being a hurricane warning growing up and I had the day off from school. I stayed home and watched cartoons all day. Good times. Paired with the earthquake that happened earlier this week (which made me think that I was having a flashback or vertigo), it's been a very unusual week. And did I mention that Hubby quit his job? Yup, strange week. More on that another time.

So the boys' first professional photo shoot (other than their party) is already rescheduled. Scattering my grandparent's ashes is postponed. I can't believe that it's been a year since my grandmother held the boys for the first and last time and passed away. Also my powwow session with my mom friends regarding the casino trip that we want to take will have to wait (although we may go for a walk tomorrow, weather permitting). I suppose that the best that I can hope for now is no flooding or damage and the boys sleeping through the night (yeah, right)...*sigh*.

15 Month Check-Up

2011-08-26T21:33:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 15 Months Old

The boys had their 15 Month check-up today. My to-do list for the boys just got WAY out of control. Here's the low-down:

G-Dawg's constipation issues aren't going away despite the tasty prune concoction that I've been feeding him. Yesterday he squeezed until he vomited all over the clean shirt that I had just dressed him in. Now he's developing a hemorrhoid for his troubles. Enter Miralax. It's helped a friend's son with his constipation issues. The big challenge will be keeping his brother from stealing his sippy/bottle with the Miralax in it. J-Man swiped it today and before I knew it, he had downed the whole thing. He's been pooping about 15 minutes after his morning bottle every day (I've learned not to change him when he wakes up). It'll be interesting to see what kind of Miralax mess is in those diapers tomorrow.
Vitamins. Somehow we stopped giving the boys vitamins several months ago. Gotta do that now too.
J-Man still has a small cough but nothing to be too concerned with. We're to nebulize him with albuterol 3x a day for 2 days. 3x a day means every 8 hours. But he sleeps at night for more than 8 hours. You do the math. No way I'm nebulizing him in the middle of the night.
G-Dawg is wheezing still. Back on antibiotics he goes. And an anti-inflammatory. And a nebluzer 4x a day for 2 days then 3x a day. You do the math. In the interest of him not sustaining lung damage from prolonged coughing, we'll do it. The pediatrician says not to wake him up, just to hold the nozzle over his face in his crib while he's sleeping. It will be comical to see how this plays out without waking the boys up. We had nebulized the boys for 5 days 3x a day this past week and it didn't seem to help. Apparently that's because the congestion built up at night. I hate that damn nebulizer.
My buddha baby J-Man has LOST weight since his last check-up. He's a little over 23 lbs and he used to be over 24 lbs. I have no explanation for this other than he's walking all over the place. G-Dawg lost a pound in the past week and is down to 23 lbs 9 oz. It's very bizarre. I had them weigh him twice. My only explanation is that we took him off of jarred foods and maybe day care is not making sure that he eats all of his morsels. Now we need to keep a food log, give them Pediasure, and bring them back for a weight check in a month. I bought some of the Pediasure and it's $10 for a 2 day supply. Maybe I'll just trying feeding them more instead, although I already feel like all they do is eat.
We'll do their MMR and chicken pox vaccines at the weight check. The pedi doesn't feel comfortable giving it to G-Dawg with his wheezing. And since when is there a chicken pox vaccine?
The boys should have 3 words by now. I guess that I haven't looked at BabyCenter for milestones in a while. I think that G-Dawg is saying "ear" and "bye" but who can tell at this age? We're to work on getting them to say "Mama" and "Dada" with meaning. We have been doing that, although it hasn't been a concerted effort.

I like the pediatrician, I really do, but I was exhausted by the time we were done. Just the thought of nebulizing alone made me want to take a nap. The pediatrician asked if I was alright, saying that I looked sad. What does she expect from a mother of 15 month old twins?

G-Dawg's Long and Curly Hair

2011-08-22T20:33:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 14 Months Old

Lately I've been debating whether or not to snip some of G-Dawg's big curly mop. What was once a little Alphalpha curl at the top of his head that popped up when he was 6 months old is now a sea full of curls. At first it was at the top of his head, like a curl mohawk, but now it's all over and a bit nappy in back. The curls at the top were spirally but are starting to get a little more weight to them.

I love his curls. They're so soft and perfect for nuzzling my face in. But I'm starting to get a little embarrassed that I haven't snipped anything yet. Some people tell me to leave it as is, others say that a little trim won't hurt. I'm totally unsure as to what a trim might look like or how to trim it. Do I do it myself or get a barber? What does one do with boy hair? My gosh, the bills definitely add up but I hadn't added the cost of haircuts to the mix.

Truth is, I kind of want the boys to have longer hair. Not like hair down to their waists, but down between their ears and necks wouldn't hurt. Kind of like Zach and Cody or little longer (like the Disney XD reference?). But right now, G-Dawg's hair may be the culprit for getting asking if I have a boy and a girl all the time.

And then there's the fact that it's summer. And it's hot. And it's totally unfair that boys can't put anything in their hair to hold it back. I did try one day. And man did G-Dawg look pretty. The picture below doesn't do it justice how pretty he looked. I had take the boys out on this day and ran into someone that I knew from my mom's group. I was so embarrassed and felt the need to explain the hair clip. People can put huge big honking ugly fake flower things on girls' heads and get away with it but God forbid I put my son's hair back to get it out of his face.

Part of me thinks that it may look cuter if it was trimmed a bit. G-Dawg's face gets lost in the curls some days. I guess that it depends on how it's combed after I wash it. Perhaps it's time to get some baby hair gel and real shampoo (instead of just the regular baby wash). And now the cradle cap is showing much more so I guess that I should do something about that too.

J-Man's hair was at the perfect length but now the hair in front in crossing over his forehead. He has little curlies in the back and it's more wavy on top. I really like the length that it's at. In fact, someone had asked me if I cut it that way because they liked it. His hair has a copper tint in the sun. Poor guy has my hair. I knew that twin B was going to have a Jew fro!

When Will it End?

2011-08-21T16:44:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 15 Months Old

The boys' coughs aren't over yet. Oh no. J-Man delighted us with a night full of coughs on Friday. Sometimes he reminded me of one of our cats throwing up a hair ball. He would almost be squeezing out the cough as if it were stuck in the bottom of his throat. They literally came one after the other.

Hubby and I have both lost our patience with him (although generally he IS a delight). The night before, he woke up in the middle of the night. I gave him some water and rocked him for a while. He seemed like he was going to go back to sleep but instead popped back up in his crib crying. Hubby had to take over. I was tired and pissed off at the situation.

Then on Friday when he was coughing all night, Hubby rocked him for three hours and then when he went to change J-Man, J-Man screamed at the top of his lungs. I woke up to an exasperated Hubby who was pissed off at J-Man, who cried bloody murder after Hubby wiped the poop off of his butt. I guess that I forgot to mention to Hubby that J-Man has a pretty bad diaper rash and it was dark in the room. Then Hubby felt bad for getting upset at him when his whole but is blazing red.

Another trip to the doctor revealed nothing as usual. Since J-Man's been coughing for over a month now, the doc prescribed an antibiotic, an anti-inflammatory, and told us to use albuterol (through a nebulizer) every 6 hours. Damn that nebulizer. I despise that thing. I hate forcing it in the boys face. I hate that it takes 5 minutes for every treatment. I hate that there are so many parts to wash. I hate having to distract two babies at once to get it done. I hate that it doesn't have any obvious results.

Hallejhuah, though, J-Man immediately started to feel better after taking the anti-inflammatory. He napped for a few hours and slept through the night until 6:30.

Sounds great, right? Hell no. G-Dawg now has the cough. While we were at the doctor, we had him checked out because he was coughing on occasion and they didn't see anything wrong with him. He has a little fluid left in his ear from his ear infection but that was all. I had a feeling that last night would be bad, though, as he coughed more and more as the day went on.

Hubby (aka "my hero") got up with G-Dawg twice before eventually calling in the reinforcements (i.e. me) around 4am because he woke up J-Man. Thank God J-Man went right back to sleep until 6:30 (as stated before). G-Dawg was difficult to console. We gave him the phone which sometime distracts him. He cried. Hubby used the plush wolf (aka "wolfie") to bark at him. He got a few giggles but that turned into crying.

Some water, some milk, a few Baby Einstein videos, and a bucket of Cheerios later, G-Dawg took a huge poop and I was able to rock him to sleep. The funny thing is that he had been squeezing all day with no results and I was about to give him a suppository. Hubby had cut it to the right size (we cut the children's ones in half) and brought it in and right at the moment, G-Dawg squeezed it all out of him (while vomiting all over from the squeezing). Poor guy, the poop was so hard. I had been hoping that him moving around more would get his bowels moving but that's not the case. Since then, we've seen some surprisingly good sized clay-like multi-colored poops from G-Dawg. I guess that since they're clay-like and not totally hard like usual it's his version of diarrhea.

For two days in a row now, Hubby and I have taking turns sleeping during the day. My mom came over last night and of course it was right around the time that Hubby and I had both had caught up on sleep enough to be sane. She's been very sweet though, looking up remedies online and offering to bring over tea, acidopholes and yogurt (to counter the antibiotics). I couldn't sleep much today. Hubby took the boys to his usual spot, the computer store, so I could get some rest. No sleep for me so here I am blogging and watching Disney XD.

This is weekend #3 or 4 that the boys' illness has thwarted our plans. Why do I even bother even making plans anymore? We were supposed to visit Hubby's parents and my good friend D for an overnight visit. It would be the first time that either of Hubby's parents have seen the boys in a while (because of Hubby's father's cancer and his stepdad's cancer). It would be the first time that his stepdad would meet the boys. It would also be the first time that I would have been able to spend time with D, whose kids I haven't seen in over 2 years.

I'm disappointed and Hubby considered taking the boys, sick or not. He was trying to think of a way that we could swing it but at the end of the day, we didn't want a repeat of the other weekend where we thought that J-Man was better when he was not and spent a total of 10 hours needlessly driving back and forth.

I think that having kids has made me a bit more mature. I don't like canceling pans. I'm the kind of person that once something gets in my head and you can't talk me out of it. A few years ago if something like this came up, I would have either gone anyway or stayed behind and been really pissed off. Like REALLY pissed off.

Instead, I'm just trying to get through the rough patches and am hopeful that we'll have another opportunity at a weekend away. Before the summer ends. I feel like the boys are robbed of their summer. I can count on my hands the number of times that we've really been outside. When one kid is okay to go out, the other is sick or sleeping or Hubby and I are exhausted from lack of sleep.

When people say that kids get sick often when they start day care or school, they seriously aren't kidding. I figured that they would be sick on and off, not continual sickness. I have a newfound respect for single parents. They have one of the most impossible and unforgiving and tiresome jobs and are doing it all alone. There's a woman I saw on the twins board who is single with young twins. Whenever I think about how difficult things are for us, I think of her and how it's even twice as hard for her.
As it turns out, the director at the day care asked Hubby if we wanted to move J-Man up to the young toddlers room. Part of the reason why I couldn't sleep today was because I was debating the issue. I'll talk about that some other time.

UPDATE: I didn't finish this post before Hubby returned home with the boys. We nebulized G-Dawg and gave him some ibuprofen and he seems to be feeling much better. He even napped for 2 hours. What I wouldn't give for the both of them to sleep through the night!

6 Month EI Follow-Up and Neuro Follow-Up

2011-08-19T15:02:00.002-04:00

The Boys are 15 Months Old

I've been delinquent in blogging again. J-Man is STILL waking up coughing at 5am. A trip to the doctor on Monday revealed absolutely nothing. Between getting up early and my eyes being drier than usual from the surgery, I've been exhausted. Oh, and work has picked up too. That's not such a bad thing though. Despite more co-workers being laid off, I finally am feeling like I'm back into the swing of things exactly a year after coming back from maternity leave.

J-Man, as suspected, hasn't entirely abandoned crawling, but he's walking all over the place. He still holds one hand up in the air for balance. The other day I caught him standing up on his own without pulling up on something first. I'm not too keen on poisoning his perfect little feet with shoes, but I did put on a few pairs that we have and walked him too and from the car a few times.

I feel guilty not having him run outside more often. Since they're in the nursery at the day care, I don't think that they go outside and on the weekends we haven't gotten to the pool as much as I had hoped. I keep hearing people talk about how the summer is almost over and it makes me sad that the time went by so quickly and we didn't do much outdoors. G-Dawg still has PT on Friday and then naps so most of my half day Fridays are shot.

G-Dawg is crawling and getting into sitting more fluently this week. He can cruise from one piece of furniture to the next. It takes him a little while but he's more confident and I can finally leave him standing up without standing right behind him in case he falls. He can get and stay in kneeling position and during his PT session today, he used the walker properly, moving it forward and taking steps. The PT didn't think that he'd be able to do it but he did!

I imagine that in the next few G-Dawg will be pulling up and going back down. I think that he gets the idea, but he just needs the strength to do it. Every night, G-Dawg fights going to sleep now. I lay him down, he gets back up. While I'm trying to calm J-Man down, G-Dawg tries to pull up in his crib and lays back down tired from the effort. Then he tries again several times before finally going to sleep.

We had G-Dawg's 6 month follow-up with Early Intervention today. I can't believe it's been 6 months since his initial evaluation. He's done so well that we're moving DI to every other week instead of every week for two months. Then if everything goes well, well do it once a month. We don't think every week is necessary any more, but it will be good to keep an eye on things to make sure that G-Dawg doesn't plateau.

In a few months, if we are concerned about G-Dawg's speech, we can get an evaluation. He's too young at this point, although that's not stopping us from getting an evaluation at the hospital next month (at the recommendation of the developmental pediatrician). My main concern is that instead of babbling with vowels, he's making noises like "we" instead. It's not a huge concern but worth checking out.

I've noticed lately that G-Dawg is doing a lot better with eating and chewing, thank God! I was getting tired of feeding him jarred foods like chicken with noodles. How gross is jarred chicken? He's been enjoying pizza, fish sticks, and chicken nuggets and it's not taking him forever to swallow everything. I think that he's really starting to coordinate his muscles and that's translated into his oral motor skills. He's still a little clunky at self-feeding. Today he planted a piece of yellow pepper on his cheek and he still palms the food with two hands (one hand over the other) but it's nice to be able to give him some food and walk away knowing that some will get into that little mouth of his. So, the speech evaluation will probably be just for speech and not oral motor skills.

We'll continue with PT through EI once a week. Right now he's about 25% behind (as opposed to the 40% behind he was last month). If by November he's not walking, we'll bump up PT through EI to twice a week. We'll continue to bring G-Dawg to PT at the local hospital for about a month or until he's more competent at pulling up an crawling. I'm hoping that we can drop that and just do once a month or so there for check-ins (mostly due to concerns about his feet).

All-in-all, progress is being made every day. Every week the PTs talk about how much G-Dawg is improved over the last week. It's a busy day. We take G-Dawg to his 3 month follow-up with the neurologist this afternoon. I expect not to find out any more information.

I often wonder if it would be best to transfer J-Man from the nursery to the younger toddler room at day care. The PT at the hospital made a comment that most day cares have organized activities and other walking kids in the toddler room so it could be a disservice to leave him in the nursery. Part of me doesn't want to separate them. I don't want him to leave G-Dawg behind. Plus, J-Man has two little boy friends that he walks around the room with.

The other part of me feels guilty that there's only a little bit of summer left and J-Man could benefit from some time outside running around with the other kids. I may have a conversation with the director and see if he can have the best of both worlds and spend some time outside with the other kids. That of course would mean that I would definitely have to get J-Man's feet sized and make sure that we have a good pair of shoes that fit. SHOES! How the hell did that happen??

UPDATE: G-Dawg got a clean bill of health at the neurologist who is very happy with his progress. She said that his low tone is mild and doesn't concern her.

She noted that while she would still do the genetic testing (which I've been putting off due to the difficulty in drawing G-Dawg's blood), she wouldn't go crazy with the tests.

I asked her if she saw kids like G-Dawg who are like this and turned out to have autism. She responded "No, I often see kids like this that don't turn out to have autism." I play that comment over and over in my head. It's music to my ears.

We have one more check-up in 3 months to check on his progress with walking. Hopefully by the he IS walking. I won't rule anything out now that he's crawling all over the place!

Leaps and Bounds

2011-08-12T15:38:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 15 Months Old

I am exhausted. J-Man's been waking up with a hacking cough every morning this week before 5am. Sometimes I don't know how I make it through the day. Hubby swears that J-Man is being manipulative because he won't go back to sleep. He doesn't necessarily want to play and he's really cranky. I think that something's bothering him. Perhaps it's his first top tooth that's poking through but it's hard to say.

G-Dawg's progressing in leaps and bounds. He's cruising. It started with him sliding his foot over and now he's able to make his way around the activity table. He's a man on the move.

He's also trying to pull himself up. The PT always talks about how many kids pull themselves up by pulling and dragging both legs up while holding on to whatever they're pulling up on. G-Dawg does it the correct way: by bending his leg and planting one foot on the ground. Problem is that he doesn't get enough leverage and isn't very strong so he gets stuck. The PT told me to show G-Dawg how to put his arms up further on what he's holding to get more leverage.

That all being said, at day care, the girls have seen him standing next to things so he has been successful. It's just that one one's really seen it in person. In fact not only has he pulled up but once he fell down on his own. Where he used to stiffen up his body when letting go, he understands that he needs to bend at the waist in order to land on his butt.

The PT saw him on Wednesday and now today and said that G-Dawg's made progress and is crawling faster even in two days.

Oh, and G-Dawg is definitely catching onto "bye-bye". He doesn't always wave but he really tries to say it! Cutest thing ever. I have to catch it on video!

G-DAWG.IS.CRAWLING!

2011-08-09T21:14:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 14 Months Old

After a fun weekend of caring for sick babies, it was a relief to drop the boys off at day care. I came home and the bed called to me. "You can wait until 9 to start work," it said. Later it said, "Business won't come to a halt if you lay there until 9:30." And lay there I did. Until the phone rang and startled me.

The caller ID showed that it was the day care center. My heart stopped. I debated not answering it. "If I don't answer, I can pretend that I don't know that one of the boys has a fever again," I thought. Then I answered it, the Sally that I am.

It was the day care director. "Hi Mrs. ___, did you know that your son is crawling?" she said.

I paused. Stupidly, I asked "What do you mean? Are you talking about G-Dawg?"

"Yes," she said. "He's crawling all over the place."

Okay, so he stood on his knees one time this weekend and the way that he's butt scooting these days, he's clearly interested in moving, but this I did not expect. FOUR days at home with him and he doesn't crawl. Then the minute that I drop him off a day care he's "all over the place." Figures!!!

Needless to say, I didn't go back to bed. Instead, I made phone calls. I didn't go to visit G-Dawg right away as I thought that I would jinx it. When I picked him up, he had a little certificate honoring his new milestone.

I took G-Dawg to the PT (he hasn't been in a few weeks due to illness) and she was happy. She said that he still was at a 7-8 month level. I brought the camera but G-Dawg was too tired to really perform. He had fallen asleep right before we got there.

G-Dawg's regular PT was excited to hear the news. He had been right: G-Dawg WILL crawl by the end of the month! The next morning when G-Dawg had more energy, I managed to snap a video of him crawling and I sent it to EVERY family member I could think of (I can't post it here due to anonymity reasons).

Also on video I managed to grab some footage of G-Dawg who's trying to pull up already. It's kind of pathetic. He really wants to pull up and sort of knows what to do but he doesn't have enough strength to do it. No fear, it will happy VERY soon.

Some commentary from G-Dawg's cheerleaders:

My mom says: "Talk about having to hold back tears!!!!!! We've been waiting G-Dawg to crawl and he comes through! BRAVO precious Grandson!"

My aunt says: "I'm going to start nailing down our wires - it's time to babyproof! Honestly, the best possible news!!" and "OMG - HOW FABULOUS!!!! It's Grandpa's birthday -- maybe he gave him a little push -- that's the BEST news!

There's no end in sight to the madness over here. Both boys sick for a few weeks and taking turns getting fevers, LASIK (I'm recovering well, just some dryness), now me and Hubby are sick and J-Man's first top tooth is poking through. It's all okay, though, because G-Dawg is on the move!

My Toddlers

2011-08-07T13:34:00.001-04:00

The Boys are 14 Months Old

Catching up on blogging now that my eyes feel okay and G-Dawg's fever seems to be tapering off (and the boys are miraculoulsy takin a second nap). I will forgo watching Disney XD or napping myself in light of these important updates.

In the news today, J-Man and G-Dawg are becoming toddlers :) :(

J-Man is literally toddling all over the place. This is a new development as of a few days ago. Today he walked all the way down the hallway with his sippy cup in his hands. In fact, he often walks while carrying something...the video monitor, a bottle, a tube of Ambesol, a diaper. He's more than happy to transport things from one end of the apartment to the next.

I love watching him walk. He totally knows what he's doing and smiles every time he toddles. His legs stiffen a bit while he walks to prevent himself from falling and it makes him look like a baby Frankenstein. His hair is at the perfect length for his face and he is such a handsome baby. That boy is going to be a lady killer.

Sometimes he catches himself from falling and is able to get back up after his knees are bent. Sometimes he just falls back down. I can't believe that we've been saying that he'll be walking any day now for about 3 months and the time has finally arrived. Next I suppose that he'll figure out how to stand up without pulling up on something.

G-Dawg's developments are not to be believed. My little G-Dawg has made SO much progress this past month. He's totally come to life! I'm pretty sure now that autism is out of the question. At the risk of repeating anything that I've written in my last posts, I will bullet point everything here. G-Dawg:

Points or grabs the following when I ask for them: My nose, my ear, his little monkey figurine, the cat, the remote control, and his foot. I swear that a few times he said "ea" when he pointed to my ear. He may understand glasses too because when I showed him the glasses in his picture book, he looked up at my face (and of course the glasses are no longer there).
Tilts his cup or bottle back to get the liquid out. Well, boy boys have been doing this for a while now but I figured that I'd document it here. When that happened exactly, I'm not sure.
Flips through books.
Takes blocks and toys into and out of bins and buckets.
Tries to stack two blocks
Presses the button on the ball popper to get it started and knows how to put the balls in the ball popper.
Is starting to lift his arms up when I reach out to pick him up.
Makes it VERY clear when he's not interested in food or a bottle. He pushes it away and spits it out, often smiling afterwards (if he's in a good mood).
Claps and does "so big" on command.
Feeds himself small bits of food (usually puffs or crackers). He places the food in his left hand, even if it was picked up from his right hand, and puts it in between his thumb and forefinger. He doesn't exactly use a pincer grasp but rather slides the food forward in between those two fingers then bites it with his teeth.
Speaking of teeth, he's been grinding his teeth since the top two came in . It's a horrible noise. I push his cheeks in when he does it but I don't think he realizes that I'm trying to get him to stop.
He will scoot his butt all the way to the toy box and take everything out and explore. I truly hope that because he's able to do this that his development isn't severely impacted by not crawling or walking yet.

It's funny because J-Man is much further along in terms of motor skills. In fact, J-Man's getting closer to using a pincer grip. However, G-Dawg seems to be much further along in terms of comprehension and social reciprocity. J-Man sometimes claps when we clap but even though I think that he understands some words, he doesn't really let on. G-Dawg is definitely the people pleaser. Funny and amazing how things change so quickly.

I think that there are some things on the list that I'm missing but that'll do for now!

The Illness Continues and a Disney XD Addiction

2011-08-07T09:44:00.001-04:00

The Boys are 14 Months Old

The day after I had LASIK, I had taken off of work to recover and go to my follow-up appointment. After my appointment, I stopped by day care to say hi to the boys and G-Dawg was burning up. The minute that he saw me, he refused to eat lunch and started crying. They took his temperature and he was over 103. "He has to go home", the woman told me. No shit.

The truth is, G-Dawg felt a little warm when I dropped him off but I was really hoping that I was just imagining things and I had to go to my appointment. That was bad mom moment #1. I spent the day with G-Dawg and of course G-Dawg was up throughout the night. His fever went over 104 and we gave him a bath at around 3am. The on-call nurse didn't seem too concerned but said to bring G-Dawg in the next morning to get him checked out because he was still coughing.

Bad mom moment #2: I did not take G-Dawg to the doctor the next day. My eyes were super sore because every time I was about to fall asleep, G-Dawg woke up, and therefore I woke up. It felt like I had been sleeping in my contact lenses for days. On top of that, I was exhausted. Normally I take the boys out just to get out of the house but I was lethargic. And I only had G-Dawg that day; J-Man was in day care.

G-Dawg didn't seem TOO bad. Luckily, he doesn't sweat and shake like J-Man does when he's sick. Instead, he cries. Not a screaming type cry, but a pathetic whimpering type cry that makes you want to run in and hold him tight. Funny, when he's sick, G-Dawg is more open to being cuddled. Normally he pushes me away. He was also putting his arm across his eyes as if to block out the light and putting his hands to the sides of his head.

The last two nights Hubby took care of G-Dawg, who progressively seems to be getting better. Hubby miraculously seems to have endless energy and patience. Have I said before that I don't know what I'd do without him, because I don't!

Hubby took G-Dawg to the pediatrician yesterday, and it turns out that G-Dawg has a moderate ear and throat infection. We cancelled our plans to go out to dinner with some friends last night and my mom came to visit. I wish that she would be able to actually help out but she can't even seem to figure out a comfortable way to hold the boys. I had her try to rock G-Dawg the other day and she was awkward at it.

G-Dawg's now on antibiotics and a nebulizer 2x a day. And now he'll probably have diarrhea too since Hubby and I both gave him his antibiotics this morning by mistake. I am REALLY hoping that G-Dawg gets better by tomorrow but more for narcissistic reasons. I have to catch up with work and I need to make an appointment with the dentist. That cavity I got while pregnant is rearing its ugly head and I think I might need a root canal. I can't eat without feeling a tinge of pain.

The other thing that I want to do tomorrow? Watch the Disney XD channel. That's right, the DISNEY channel. In my attempt to distract G-Dawg these past few days, I've watched countless hours of Pair of Kings, The Suite Life of Zach and Cody, I'm in the Band, and Zeke and Luther. I long to watch episodes uninterrupted and forwent sleep on Friday while G-Dawg napped to watch. Zeke and Luther is my favorite. At first I found Luther over the top but he's wonderfully wacky and Luther is nice to look at. I even like the "I'm Burning Up" video with Adam Hicks (who pays Luther). What has become of me?!

LASIK

2011-08-06T21:03:00.001-04:00

The Boys are 14 Months Old

Well, G-Dawg did in fact wait until I had LASIK to get sick. On Wednesday, Hubby and my aunt accompanied me to get laser eye surgery. The procedure took all of 10-15 minutes and wasn't as gruesome as I had feared. In fact, I would say that it was easier than all of the tests that they did to check my vision and ensure that I was a good candidate for the procedure.

Recently I saw a trailer for Final Destination 8 or 9 (who can keep track?). The advertisement opened with a girl strapped to a surgery table with her eyelids held open with a metal device. It looked sort of like the metal piece of a mousetrap. The lights go out, the equipment malfunctions, and the laser beams burn through her eyes and she's unable to escape.

Okay, so that's not exactly what I envisioned when I pictured myself on the operating table, but I couldn't fathom how my eyes would be held open for any length of time long enough to repair my vision.

The surgery came in two parts: the opening of my eye flaps and the actual laser to correct my vision. Prior to the surgery, the surgeon explained the procedure in greater detail, but I tuned him out, simply not wanting to know what was actually being done.

After my eyes were numbed, a plastic piece was placed around my eye to keep it open, then a big machine with what looked like a telescope at the end of it was placed over and suctioned to the plastic piece, shutting out all light. After about 20 seconds, the flap was cut and I didn't feel a thing. Each eye was done one at a time.

Then we moved to another room where my eyes were held open by another plastic piece (note: no metal was involved. The doctor opened the flap up and placed another giant machine over my eye. The minute the flap was open, my world went fuzzy. I was told to look at the green light. There was mostly a red light and it was fuzzy. As I tried to look straight, the laser was turned on and I could smell my flesh burning. Later, Hubby and my aunt said that they knew that there would be a burning smell. I'm so grateful that they hadn't mentioned this beforehand.

While working on my left eye, the doctor and the tech both kept telling me not to let my eye wander. They sounded pretty nervous about it and I was too. The laser took about 20 seconds in my right eye but on my left, it seemed to take about half of that time and I was worried that they weren't able to finish because of my wandering eye.

The surgeon spent a few minutes in each eye putting the flap back. I thought that I would be terrified of someone in my eye. After all, I wasn't able to wear contacts until college when I could finally get close enough to my own eye to touch it with a contact lens. But it wasn't like that at all. While the surgeon was working on my eye, it didn't feel like he was in my eye. It actually felt like I was watching everything going on, as if I were looking through a microscope.

Hubby and my aunt didn't even get to watch. The state no longer allows people to watch on television monitors and while they waited to be notified that the operation was going to begin, it had already taken place.

That day, I miraculously walked out with 20/20 vision. My right eye (not the left one that I was so worried about) has been bothering me. At first it felt like a grain of sand was in my eye but now it feels kind of yucky, like I've been sleeping in my contacts. I've let Hubby and my mom Google this and they tell me that it could take weeks to months for this feeling to go away. I've personally stayed away from Google, which is evil and only displays the most gruesome of results.

A few blood vessels in my eyes have popped too (apparently from the suction machine). When Hubby first told me that my eyes look red, I thought that he meant that they looked bloodshot. But they are actually RED! I've been wearing sunglasses but I'm afraid to go into the office next week. I look like I've been on a bender! Hopefully they'll look normal in a few short weeks.

I'd like to say that I feel liberated, but I haven't yet thrown my glasses on the floor and done a happy dance on them. I took an opportunity to get my vision fixed but I didn't actually hate my glasses. Well, only in pictures. I used to be able to hide behind my glasses when I was having a tough time with pulling out my eyelashes. Now they're fully grown in out of fear of being discovered. Plus, there was sort of a camaraderie with Hubby. When we kissed, sometimes our glasses would knock together in geekdom.

The idea that I have perfect vision hasn't really hit me yet. Sometimes I still reach up to adjust my glasses but they're not there. I won't miss wearing contacts and I certainly won't miss having to pick out new glasses (or pay for them). But in a way, I still feel like I'm an eyeglass wearer.

I keep thinking about what's next. That nose job that I've been wanting for eons so that I don't look like a witch from the side, the teeth strengthening that I've also wanted for decades, and the keratin treatment that I had to cancel a few weeks back because Hubby had to work late. But for now, I just need to get through this and the boys' first illness from day care. I'm probably done with surgery for a while.

Hubby's been super supportive. I was terrified to tell him about the surgery and he didn't find out until a week beforehand (although I did drop hints). While he didn't like the idea, he didn't try to stop me and he's made sure that I'm taking all of my eye drops and protecting my eyes. He's afraid that I'd walk out of the surgery like I walk out of my denstist's office - with more problems. Now Hubby is envious. His vision is going in one eye and that eye also has vision so poor that contacts can't correct it. Now, if his vision goes, I can be his seeing eye wife. Maybe I'll even put on my spectacles for old times sake so we can knock glasses.

An End in Sight

2011-08-01T19:39:00.001-04:00

The Boys are 14 Months Old

I think the worst part is over. It's hard to believe that it's been less than a week that the dreadful virus overtook our happy home. As I sit here writing this, it's 7:40pm and J-Man and G-Dawg have been asleep in their cribs for almost a half an hour. They went to day care today. Boy do I miss this quiet time. I'm looking forward to watching True Blood and sleeping in a bed without a baby in it.

Last night the boys' naps were all over the place. J-Man, whenever placed in his crib, would throw a tantrum and throw his paci and burp cloths across the room. The plan was to sleep train him again (i.e. let him cry it out) while G-Dawg slept in our room in the pack n play. He fell asleep the minute I rocked him so that plan when out the window. Hubby rocked him the next time he got up, then let him cry it out the NEXT time he got up.

Needless to say, Hubby got no sleep and J-Man is going to have to learn to fall asleep on his own again. Tonight was a step in the right direction - the crying lasted for less than 5 minutes. However, the first time I put J-Man down, he looked like he was making the sign for "milk". I gave him some milk and he chugged it down, something I don't see so much since he's been sick. Could it be tht he's signing now? He has been clapping more often and doing what seems like waving.

G-Dawg woke up around 4am whimpering. He wound up sleeping in our bed. He's been constipated and the prune concoction that the pediatrician didn't work, nor did a suppository. The poor boy squeezes and squeezes and nothing comes out. When it does, there's just a little hard pebble poop.

If we can get away with G-Dawg not having a fever, I will be super grateful. Of course I want him to be well for obvious reasons, but on Wednesday I'm getting Lasik and in order for things to go smoothly, the boys need to cooperate, before, during, and after.

Baby's First Fever

2011-07-30T19:16:00.001-04:00

The Boys are 14 Months Old

It sounds so sweet doesn't it? "Baby's first fever." Anything starting with "Baby's First" sounds all sweet and gooey.

Well it's not. A fever and virus has taken over my babies and Hubby and I are living with possessed twin devils.

It started on Wednesday. On a day when Hubby and I were marveling over G-Dawg's newfound ability to get himself into a sitting position (in the most roundabout of ways), I got call from the day care that J-man had a 103 fever and wasn't feeling so well.

I rushed home from work and took both boys to the pediatrician, as the woman who runs the nursery also didn't like the sound of G-Dawg's cough.

The boys had been coughing for the past few days and I figured that it was like the last time when their teeth came in. Nebulize them and give them a little TLC.

The pediatrician was amazingly thorough and it took well over an hour to evaluate 24.5 lb G-Dawg and ~24 lb. J-Man. As it turns out, she's most concerned about G-Dawg, who is wheasing and has congestion in his chest (she referred to it as rails). She had me nebulize G-Dawg with Albuterol. G-Man was not happy and I stopped it when the mist stopped but she shook it up and nebulize the poor boy until no more was left. Afterwards, she could tell that the Albuterol broke up some of his congestion so I was given instructions to nebulize him every 6 hours.

Now J-Man's fever had subsided by the time we got there of course. The day care had given him 5ml of acetaminophen when I told them to give him .75ml. As it turns out 5ml was the right dosage of children's acetaminophen and worked pretty well. J-Man did not have any congestion in his chest and I was told to give him saline through the neublizer every 4 hours and acetaminophen/ibprophen where necessary.

So, long story short, use the nebulizer, tylenol, and oh, by the way, the fever should last about 3 days and G-Dawg will be getting it next.

What happened next I could not predict. While G-Dawg slept soundly in his crib, J-Man had feverish chills throughout the night. When the acetaminophen kicked in, he felt great, got a second wind, and wouldn't sleep. A 5AM call to the on-call nurse revealed that the scary chills are normal and she put my mind at ease.

Thursday was a scramble. Hubby had to try to work from home and had a big project due that night. I had a big presentation to work on for the next morning. We were trying to wrap everything up before going away the next day with my aunt and her family. We called in the big guns - my aunt - who graciously came over to help watch the boys while hubby and I got some work done before she left for the trip (she was going the night before us).

J-Man's been drinking little bits here and there since the liquid hurts his throat. He's been refusing his paci. And I KNOW he's sick because I can eat a meal in peace. Thursday night was much of the same, and finally around 4AM, I got J-Man to eat a bowl of blueberries and he passed out after I pushed him in the stroller for a few minutes. Gratefully he slept there and in my arms for about 4 hours.

Then there was Friday. Hubby was still wrapping up his project. We gave J-Man his meds first thing in the morning. It looked like we weren't going on our trip but by 1:30, J-Man hadn't had a fever so we figured we'd be adventurous. I would have been happy to sit at home but the thought of being stuck with two sick babies all weekend made me optimistic that at least we'd get some help if we went away.

It took nearly SIX hours to get to our destination when its should have taken three. Rush hour on Fridays towards the beaches in a major metropolitan area do not mix. I joked with my aunt that she's driving the boys back and she agreed. It was the boys' longest car trip thus far and they did relatively well. We only needed to stop twice but next time we are renting minivan. Two adults, two babies, and gear for all don't leave much room in a Hyundai Accent (although you'd be surprised at how much we DO fit).

My aunt asked her stepdaughter and her boyfriend to watch the boys overnight so we could get some sleep. The look on that girl's face said it all and I quickly told her that that won't be necessary. She quickly slipped out for the night.

That night, G-Dawg woke up once and my aunt and her husband rushed up to help but Hubby was fine getting him back to sleep on his own. Apparently, after that my aunt took a pill so she could sleep. I guess that getting up once a night is a lot for her. I'm a little peeved that she'd do that after her insistence that she would help.

Meanwhile, J-Man passed out amid a sea of pillows, sleeping only in his diaper. It took several fits of crying, a dose of acetaminophen, and a nebulizing treatment, and he was snoring like a truck driver. He rolled over in the middle of the night and cried out. He was shivering on and off and all the while his eyes were closed like he sleeping. The only thing that helped was holding him tight and close to me like he was in the womb.

It's one thing for him to be like this awake, but when his eyes were closed he looked like he was dying. Thoughts of scenes from tv shows rushed through my head. It took all of my strength not to burst into tears. Hubby saw the look in my face and gave me a gentle pat. My back was killing me and he took over. Eventually, J-Man went back to sleep. Hubby and I adjusted the pillows a thousand times to make sure that they weren't in his face. Every time we moved a pillow, he would move too.

J-Man fell asleep on his back sprawled out, still in his diaper. It occured to me that he looked just like he did when he was first born, sprawled out in the NICU isolette. It's amazing how his figure remains simliar to what it was such a long time ago.

I slept on the couch next to G-Dawg in his pack n play (who also slept in his diaper because there was no A/C) while Hubby and J-Man slept in bed until 7:30 today.

I woke up nauseous from lack of sleep and jarred from the previous night's experience. My aunt had all of these plans to have lunch then go to the beach, etc., and I wanted to do was sleep but J-Man was cranky and the house was too loud. I couldn't bear the though of bringing the boys to the hot beach and eventually Hubby and I decided to head home. The pediatrician had said that if the fever doesn't break in 3 days to come back on Saturday (today) and they were open until 12.

We made the decision and about 15 minutes we were out the door. It was abrupt and I felt bad because my aunt bought a ton of food and was looking forward to the weekend with us. And now I worry that we won't be invited back. She took it well. The 4 hour trip home didn't seem so bad. The boys slept and although it had been less than 24 hours since we'd been home, it was great to be back.

As it turns out, the pediatrician wasn't in until 12 today but I did speak to him and he didn't seem too concerned. If J-Man's fever goes over 101 and is persistent, we need to call back. So far, it's at 100.5 and holding steady. He did say that summer viruses could last up to FIVE days. God help us if G-Dawg gets a fever too!

Hubby has gone above and beyond to get his project done. Even though we have TWO sick babies at home and even though he's gotten about 2 hours of sleep and even though he put in for a day off over a month ago, he still got a negative e-mail from his boss about his ability to get things done. Everyone else was pulling all-nighters for this job so why wasn't he? I guess it's time for him to start looking. Discussions have resumed about him being a stay at home dad.

Hubby's amazing. He has so much pressure from me, the boys, and from work, yet he still manages to be patient and calm. His priority has always been me and the boys and bends over backwards to ensure that we're happy. Even now he's watching the cranktwins for a while so I can write this post. I don't know what I would do without him. So to see anyone treat him this way makes me feel just awful.

If we can get through this, we can ge through anything. I remember a time not too long ago when there was such thing as "bedtime". It happened around 7pm and after that would be blissful peace and quiet for several hours. I long for this time again and long for the boys to get well. Recover, boys, recover!

First Steps and Sitting Up!

2011-07-26T10:55:00.002-04:00

The Boys are 14 Months Old

Crazy things are abound these days!

This weekend Hubby watched J-Man while I took G-Dawg to the baby gym. J-Man has had a bad cough and vomited big chucks about an hour before we were supposed to leave so we figured that it was best he stay home with Hubby. When I returned, Hubby had lured J-Man into take a few steps on his own using some Gerber puff sticks!

Hubby didn’t even need to tell me what had happened; I just guessed it when he said that he had some good news to share with me. Later, he got J-Man to do it on camera and ever since, J-Man has been letting go a few seconds at a time. Not long now until he’s running around everywhere.

G-Dawg hasn’t pulled himself up again but last night after we put him to bed, I went to the bathroom. I knew something interesting was brewing when I heard Hubby call my name. Usually I get some privacy in there.

We looked at the video monitor and lo and behold, G-Dawg was sitting up in his crib! Hubby also thinks that he was in a crawling position but it’s so hard to tell on the video monitor. It seems like whenever he does something new, we miss it completely!

A few minutes later, it appeared that G-Dawg was lying back down but sitting up AND laying back down on his own just seemed like too much to believe. The only explanation was that he was sitting but leaning all the way forward (something that he does when he’s tired). Hubby wanted me to leave him but I didn’t feel comfortable letting him sleep like that. I went in and sure enough, he was fast asleep, sitting but leaning all the way forward. I guess there are some benefits to be super flexible. I pulled his legs out so that he was lying on his tummy and he continued to sleep.

Last night the boys slept all the way from 7 to 6:30, giving Hubby and I a massive reprieve of the sleep deprivation that they caused us this past week. Between J-Man’s coughing (which is perhaps caused by teething) and G-Dawg’s teething and hacking cough the other night, they’ve tag-teamed us and every day we’ve passed out before 8pm, only to wake up to crying and screaming. Needless to say, other than the baby gym and a birthday party, we used the weekend to take turns napping.

We saw some of the boys’ friends this weekend. At the baby gym, G-Dawg and Z hung out. It seems as though G-Dawg is physically doing better than Z. Seeing them both together, you would think that they’re twins! They both have hip abducation due to their low tone and when they’re sitting next to each other, it looks like they’re meditating. I got a great snapshot of them sitting next to each other pointing at some bubbles.

We took the boys to a first birthday party on Sunday for S, the little boy who was crawling and pulling up when we first met him several months ago. It turns out that S can take a few steps but isn’t walking yet. Hubby and I figured that he’d be running by now.

The party was a big one at the top floor of a hotel. There was a magician and good food. The views were wonderful. It was in a reception-type room with a reception type feel. I’m not a big fan of those types of parties and I can honestly say that in comparison (because I can’t help but compare of course), I think we did a great job with the boys’ party.

We couldn’t get out of there fast enough. The party was from 1 to 5 and at 4:30 the boys were getting cranky and we were exhausted, but S’s mom talked us into staying for cake. Why it was so important that we stay for cake I don’t know.

This upcoming weekend, we’re going away with my aunt and her family. The net effect is 4 built in babysitters. I hope they’re willing to watch the boys in the morning so we can sleep in!!

Standing?!?!

2011-07-22T20:51:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 14 Months Old

I'll TRY to make this quick since my shoulder is killing me (pain for which there is no end in sight).

Not only has G-Dawg been butt scooting and moving FORWARD this week, but today I went to pick the boys up from day care and the girls told me that they put him on one side of the room and the next thing they know, they find him STANDING UP next to one of the swings on the other side of the room!

The girls in the room are so funny. They said that they couldn't believe their eyes and don't know exactly how/when he got there but they were dumbstruck. G-Dawg was stuck in between a swing and an exersaucer and they had to help him down but OMFG!

I have to see this for myself even if it means following him around with the video camera all weekend. G-Dawg had had his PT session earlier and I think that he does really well and is more curious about moving around after his sessions.

The PT had been pretty impressed with a few things that G-Dawg did today. When he put his feet flat on the floor to stand, G-Dawg pulled his upper body all the way from hanging down to straight up. He also did well when prompted to pull up and rocked when on his hands and knees. He no longer cries when he's on his hands and knees. He holds on while standing with only one hand (he's getting more confidence) and flattens his body out like a washboard when you try to make him sit because he loves to stand now.

I haven't scheduled G-Dawg's genetic testing yet but the PT says that he'd be surprised if it uncovers any genetic abnormalities. The kids that he works with that have genetic disorders do not learn like G-Dawg does.

And this past week, Hubby got G-Dawg to put blocks in containers and take them out in an appropriate way. G-Dawg pointed to my nose when prompted (finally) and now scoots himself over to the toy bin in the nursery and starts digging through it, playing with and inspecting the toys one by one.

His scoot is basically performed by him leaning over as if he were getting into a crawling position but instead of getting on his knees, pulling his lower body forward. I was worried that G-Dawg may lose interest in crawling but the PT says that while it's not what we were looking for necessarily, it's mobility nonetheless.

I was thinking it earlier today but Hubby beat me to saying that it looks like the lights are turning on!

G-Dawg has a friend named Z who is the same age (not adjusting for prematurity). Z also sees the same PT and the PT joked that sessions with Z are more like crying sessions. Z and G-Dawg are complete opposites. Z is anxious around strangers (and totally neurotypical) and G-Dawg is happy and smiley. The PT clearly enjoys session with G-Dawg because he's so cheerful.

Z also has low tone but I don't know the severity. He's also not crawling yet but his mom tells me that he's going backwards. Unfortunately, Z fell off the couch recently and fractured a bone in his leg and didn't get PT for a few weeks. I'm friends with his mom but she never gives me many details about how he's doing. It kills me because I can't help but compare. I want to compare. The PT said that Z is starting to side sit and G-Dawg's already doing that. It's almost like a race with me, although Z's mom probably doesn't seem to care.

Not that I'm happy that Z has gross motor delays of course, but it's amazingly comforting to know that a friend of mine has a child with the same problem and that Z's development hasn't sped past G-Dawg. It's almost like they're in it together. His mom and I can commiserate about constipation issues and their lack of mobility. Ironically, she also has shoulder problems and gets PT for it (something I may need to do soon). Misery certainly loves company.

Oh, and lest I forget, I put J-Man on the stairs at day care today to see what he would do and lo and behold, he climbed the stairs. Not that I didn't think that he could do it, but it was fun to watch. J-Man's standing independently here and there for brief periods. I'm trying to encourage him to walk. He stands up against things a lot now and any day he'll walk in between them.

Poor J-Man's bad cough has returned after a 3.5 month hiatus. I think that his top teeth are going to break through any day now. I'm exhausted from a long week and hope he just sleeps through the night!

Nanny Be Gone

2011-07-22T17:39:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 14 Months Old

I am SO done with our old nanny (“M”). She started working part time for a friend of mine (“E”) whose nanny is away for a month. I had told M to be good to E because, well, E is one of the nicest people that I know, but also because if E’s nanny doesn’t return (and M doesn’t think that she will), it could lead to a bigger opportunity.

E and I went to happy hour this week (one of the highlights of our mom’s group). It was on M’s second day working for her. E and I carpooled and had an interesting heart-to-heard about M in the car. Two days in and E already wasn’t very impressed. Apparently, M was so mad about my not paying her a week’s severance that she was banging on the kitchen counter talking about it, startling E’s 9 month old daughter. M told E not to say anything to but of course she did. E, however, felt bad for her and was going to continue my valiant effort of posting ads on Craigslist on her behalf.

That is, until Wednesday when E went to pay M for the week. When E handed her the money, M held her head down and when E asked if she gave her the right amount, M just shrugged. It was the same childish reaction that I got from M when I paid her on her last day!

E didn’t feel right about it and called M later that night. M’s hours are 8:30 to 3:30. As it turns out, M thought that because she was starting and ending in the middle of the hour, that she was getting paid for that full hour. In other words, she thought that she was getting paid from 8am to 4pm.

Just to be clear, E changed M’s hours from 9am to 4pm and when M didn’t quite understand, she had to count each hour to make sure that she understood that she was getting paid for 7 hours. My e-mail thread with E ended with her saying “seriously”???

That night, I called M and left her a message, feeling the need to resolve our dispute about the one week’s pay. If E could resolve the issue in one night, I should be able to also.

I am totally embarrassed about recommending M and will not be posting any more ads on Craigslist. My guess is that E won’t be either. In fact, E is telling M that her nanny is coming back and next week will be her last. Not only did M handle the money situation like a child, but she hasn’t been doing some of the things that E asked, looks bored all the time, and avoids the nanny cam. E tells me that she was watching the exact moment that M found the camera. M put the baby down and then picked her back up after discovering the camera. I wish it was recorded so that I could watch (note: I’d never get anything done if I had a nanny cam but part of me wishes that we had had one).

Today I gathered up a ton of the boys’ baby gear to give it to a friend of mine that is due in a few months. I’m so happy to clear things out of the apartment yet a pack n play full of stuff doesn’t make a dent in the clutter.

I stumbled across the notepad that I wrote down M’s previous employer’s information on. What a find! I was more excited than I would have been had I found money on the street. I had been looking for the notebook weeks before and here it was, sitting in a cabinet that I could swear that I checked before.

5 minutes later, I was on the phone with M’s previous employer. He was as kind and articulate as I had remembered him. He was disappointed to hear about M’s behavior and assured me that we have been more than generous and thoughtful when letting her go. He also confirmed that he DID NOT give her a week’s severance as she said that he had – He gave her two weeks’ notice and paid her for those two weeks. In addition, he confirmed that they paid her $475 a week instead of the $575 that M recently claimed that she got paid.

He told me that he thought that M was being manipulative and knows full well that there is no law requiring us to pay her any severance. It was a relief that his impression of her was the same as mine. He re-iterated what he told me a year ago: that M was wonderful with her daughter and he trusted her completely. Yet, he did admit that M has a way of making her problems everyone else’s and needs to take responsibility for herself. In fact, about a month after we hired M, she came to him saying that she wanted to see the daughter but wound up asking for money. It rubbed him the wrong way and I appreciated his honesty in our conversation.

I was so excited to have this conversation that I immediately called Hubby to tell him the news. His reaction was the same as it always is these days when I talk about M: “I am so glad that that woman is no longer in our lives.”

Not long after, M finally returned my call. I told her that I felt that we left things unresolved and I didn’t feel comfortable leaving things up in the air given the amount of time that she cared for the boys. She felt like she deserved the week because of how hard she worked, but was going to let it go. Once again, she could not give me any details of what the week was for, how it was calculated, or what the law actually is.

Then I asked her if her previous employer gave her a weeks’ pay and she said yes. She went on and on about how she’s frustrated about not having a job and how she’s responsible and needs to work and how she’s a wonderful nanny and likes kids but if she has to go from job to job that she may do something else. I said that that’s a good idea. She asked how the boys are and I told her. She said that she told me so about G-Dawg being fine.

She mentioned that she didn’t see the ad that E and I posted, but I didn’t respond to that. I didn’t tell her that I knew about what happened with E and I didn’t tell her about speaking with her previous employer. I simply wished her the best of luck.

I've Become That Mom

2011-07-20T23:00:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 14 Months Old

I have become one of those parents. You know, the kind that rushes their kid from doctor to doctor, trying to get some sort of answer or explanation or diagnosis. The kind of parent who will see any doctor to find out just one more tidbit of information.

When my mom was little, she didn’t talk until she was 5. My grandmother took her to every expert that she could get an appointment with. I just chalked it up to how utterly neurotic my grandmother was, but now I’ve become her.

I’ll talk to anyone about G-Dawg in hopes of finding similar stories where everything worked out okay. My mom and the rest of my family are fully aware of my concerns and my mom has enlisted her neighbor to take a look at G-Dawg since she works with kids with special needs. We’ll see her in a few weeks hopefully…bring her on, the more opinions, the better.

This past Monday, the developmental pediatrician’s office called first thing in the morning with a last-minute opening. I had just dropped the boys off at day care an hour earlier and rushed back to pick up G-Dawg to whisk him away to the children’s hospital for an evaluation.

There G-Dawg went through a series of simple tests: grabbing objects behind a clear screen, following the sound of a bell, picking up objects with both hands, testing for object permanence. From the checklist that the doctor completed, G-Dawg’s cognitive skills are on track and the only thing that he really need to do now is to try to sort shapes. Apparently that’s a 12 month skill although J-Man’s been attempted to short shapes for a while now.

I guess that the one thing that the developmental pediatrician mentioned that was different from the others is that she thinks that G-Dawg’s hypotonia is severe rather than mild. She demonstrated how flexible his joints are. It was a relief, however, when she talked about finding the cause of the hypotonia. She’s the first one to acknowledge that there really may be something behind it.

Our next step is to go to the genetics department to do a full workup for all potential genetic abnormalities. One blood sample should do it. This will be our fifth time trying to get a blood sample, but at least it’s just one draw. I can’t wait to get it over with. We’ll also test for PKU. In addition, G-Dawg needs to have a speech evaluation. Looking back, I’m not sure if it was recommended because he tested at a 9 month level by the EI questionnaire or because it’s becoming clear that he has some feeding issues when it comes to solids.

The doctor joked lightly that we’ve seen a number of different doctors there, so now it looks like we’ve seen almost everyone – with the exception of the pediatric oncologist thank God. In about 4 months, G-Dawg will go back to the developmental pediatrician for a follow-up. She said that she has seen autistic kids that babble like G-Dawg (he’s taken to saying “we” or “oui” in French as well as some other mixed non-syllable sounds). However, it’s encouraging that he’s not in his own world.

I liked the doctor. She acknowledged how frustrating it is not to have any answers. I, of course, cried on the way home and pigged out on McDs.

Later that day, Hubby took G-Dawg to his first outpatient PT appointment. If the day care workers think that we are crazy taking him to all different doctors, they don’t say anything. G-Dawg’s appointment was with a different PT than the one that evaluated him last week. I’m asking Hubby to give a rundown of the appointment since he describes it so well.

The overall prognosis was actually very positive. The PT was impressed with what Gavin has learned to do and can tell that he’s come very far. She noted how encouraging it is that he is teachable.

Both the PT and developmental pediatrician have seen “a few kids” like G-Dawg that have grown out of hypotonia and gone on to be relatively normal. Somehow, I don’t find a “few” encouraging. “Many” would be much better, but for now, I hold out hope that everything will be okay and will tote G-Dawg around like a lab experiment until he catches up or we have a diagnosis.

Saying a Little Prayer

2011-07-15T15:05:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 14 Months Old

Despite the pain I must enture to write this blog post, I will persevere. A few weeks ago, I sustained a shoulder injury from picking up J-Man. I wasn't even standing up! I was sitting at my computer and he was standing next to me and all I did was pull him into the chair with me.

I guess that the PT was right and that I have to be super careful. I don't feel like doing anything physical now but J-Man's recently learned to hold his arms up when he wants to be picked up and I find it impossible to ignore my little mama's boy. Even sitting here hurts my shoulder and I'm leaning up against a few pillows. On Monday, I'm going to the doctor and crossing my fingers that this isn't anything permanent.

The apartment is so quiet. It's Friday so I have a half day. The boys are at daycare and G-Dawg's already had his PT (boy was J-Man upset when I left him to focus on the session). My friend and neighbor R is no longer around. I keep looking out my window towards where she used to live and it makes me so sad. It feels as if we've broken up. Since she's left, two twin boy moms have joined my group but it's not the same.

If the nanny were still working here (and I haven't heard from her since she texted me about the extra weeks pay 2 weeks ago), she would be on her way out and I would be scrambing to get things done while the boys nap. Sure, I could clean, but my shoulder hurts and I don't know what to do with myself. The quiet is strange.

I checked with G-Dawg's EI coordinator and after talking to the PT, wants to hold off on the extra PT session until the end of August when G-Dawg has his 6 month follow-up. Until then, we will get outpatient PT for G-Dawg.

The PT put my mind at ease about some of the things that the evaluator said on Monday. Hip abducation and joint flexibility AND slow reflexes are typical in babies with hypotonia. He's seen a lot of progress with G-Dawg and based on what he sees (incuding the rocking that G-Dawg is doing on all 4s), he things that there's a real possibility that G-Dawg will crawl before the end of August (that's 6 weeks from now).

The Hip Helpers came in the mail today and the PT encouraged using them so we'll start using them tomorrow.

Now, onto what inspired me to blog today. I woke up to find this e-mail from my mom who has recently become convince that to get G-Dawg to crawl, we must demonstrate crawling to him ourselves:

“L, I am not really too religious, well just a little. But my friend J, told me no prayer is too small.

So knowing it is impossible now to crawl along side our babies cause my knee would hurt. (especially G-Dawg of course, I said a very short but sweet prayer the day before yesterday)

I asked God to heal my knee so I could help G-Dawg especially and help show him how to crawl. I thought nothing of it, but sort of desperation cause I want to try to get G-Dawg moving and nothing works like demonstrating to children . The next day, without realizing it my pain was 75% gone and a very very noticeable improvement allowing me to walk much comfortably. I then mowed the lawn, ect. Now i had this happen before where my knee felt so good a few weeks ago that I thought i was fine, only to find, it hurt again.

Now I don't think i am ready to crawl yet with G-Dawg and J-Man. Take it whatever way you want. but I thought yes it may just be nothing but just lucky timing, or maybe, just maybe, God is listening. Probably, just lucky, but I of course plan on repeating my request in prayers everyday to God!!!!”

Not often does my mom touch me. Obviously she cares. She’s getting her yard ready for the boys to come over (baby pool, kids picnic table, etc). But this? This touched me more than I can say and I don’t even believe in God (although if it would mean that G-Dawg would be okay, I would pray!).

Friend Leaving and Molars?

2011-07-12T11:34:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 14 Months Old

Today after the boys had gone to day care and Hubby left ofr work I cried. Hard. My neighbor with the twins came over to return the pack n play that she had borrowed. They have the truck packed up and are heading out today to move about 7-8 hours away.

I underestimated the sadness that I would feel with her moving. This weekend we visited my aunt instead of going to a meetup event because I figured that family comes first. It was the right decision. Family is always here but friends move or fade away.

Next time I see her boys, they'll be walking and talking, as will mine.Who will I spend my Friday afternoons with? Who else can I commiserate with? By pure irony, another twin boy mom joined my group yesterday. Her boys are the same age as my neighbor/friend's but she's not exactly 3 doors down the street.

There have been a lot of tears lately. Last night G-Dawg woke up from his slumber crying and unconsolable. He cried so hard that he vomited. At first he looked like he was crying in his sleep but after 2 hours of crying and writhing, acting like a possessed crazy person, he was awake. He cried so hard that he vomited. We stuck a suppository in him but nothing happened until this morning when he woke up to the biggest poop that I've seen from him in months. It was a sight to behold. Never before have I been so happy to see so much poop. Then he pooped later.

Eventually, G-Dawg passed out in our bed around 10:30 and fell asleep with a sippy cup of prune juice in his hands. He rolled to his side and looked as if he was cuddling up to my leg. That part made it worth it. I slipped out of bed and Hubby and I took turns sleeping on the floor (I don't understand how anyone can co-sleep). Hubby also lined the sides of the bed with pillows and chairs on the off chance that G-Dawg make his way to the edge of the bed.

A frantic call to the pediatrician revealed that G-Dawg may have some molars coming in. Apparently molars are a bitch. I don't see his gums swolen but he won't let me in to have a good look or feel. The pedi didn't think that the introduction of milk or the constipation was the issue otherwise he would be upset during the day too. I hope that she's right and that there isn't a worse underlying cause. Hubby is afraid that this will happen every day until the boys are 3 and and he'll never get a chance to do some work (work has been really hard on him lately).

At any rate, we'll stick a suppository in G-Dawg before bedtime and if he doesn't wake up crying, perhaps the problem is the constipation. I can't wait til these boys are able to tell me what's wrong.

PT Evaluation at the Children's Hospital

2011-07-11T16:57:00.001-04:00

The Boys are 14 Months Old

I spent most of my energy this afternoon fighting back tears. I took G-Dawg for a physical therapy evaluation at the local children's hospital so he could bump up his PT to two times a week and the evaluator was fairly honest.

She didn't say anything terribly negative but all I heard was "If G-Dawg doesn't start moving soon, it may impair his development" or something to that effect. She said that he was at a 6-8 month level, that it's unusual that his protective reflexes are so weak, and that he needs more work strengthening his whole torso.

I suppose that what she doesn't see (and Hubby and my mom say this as well) is all of the progress that he's made in the last few weeks. He's getting back into a sitting position from a crawling position and is able to rotate his whole body around. But I guess that all of that doesn't matter because normal babies half of his age have figured this stuff out already on their own.

One thing that she did make me aware of that I didn't know before is his how he always sits with his legs wide apart. That is apparently not the right way to sit (J-Man never just sits so I don't have a direct comparison) but I guess that I should have figured since our regular PT told us to carry G-Dawg with his feet together. So, I just ordered two Hip Helpers which he is to wear as much as possible during floor time. The PT thinks that this will help him tremendously, but to me, it makes it even harder for G-Dawg to move around. The Hip Helpers are shorts that have a hem in the middle instead of a part, so he's forced to keep his legs together all the time. This should be interesting.

Also, G-Dawg has flexible joints and his feet are turned outward like an infant's would be. Hubby has been worried about his feet and I guess that he had reason. I don't know if it's due to lack of movement or something else.

Just to make me even more paranoid, the PT said that G-Dawg's flapping is unusual and could be nothing or could be something. It could be stereotypy, which ironically a friend of mine took her daughter to a neurologist to get evaluated for today (she's fine). I'd be fine with stereotypy which is basically repeated movements or "habits" not caused by anything specific such as autism.

I told the PT that I had been worried about autism and she said that there are some red flags but it's good that he's responding to his name. She was fairly straight-forward. My mind goes back to a kid that we saw at the park this weekend. He couldn't have been older than my boys but he was walking around the water fountain, reaching his arms up and splashing around. G-Dawg is much more helpless and atypical than that kid. I just want to know what's going on and I fear that I won't get any answers in September when we see the neurologist again and have his evaluation with the developmental pediatrician.

As if subjecting G-Dawg to a PT evaluation wasn't enough, I took him to the lab at the children's hospital to get that blood draw for genetic testing. No luck. The minute that she started feeling around G-Dawg's skin, he cried bloody murder. She only poked his hand with the needle once. THEN, she said to come back in a few weeks to try AGAIN! Why do they keep telling me this? Four times is enough! I suppose that if there is a genetic abnormality with G-Dawg, I'll never know.

G-Dawg's Evaluation, Constipation, Eating, and Weekend Activities

2011-07-10T21:12:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 13 Months Old

I'm running low on time to blog so I'm cramming it all in in tonight's post.

Today we went to visit my aunt's new (and newly decorated) apartment. We went to the park and as we were walking, we passed a woman with a younger baby boy and who pointed to our boys and told the infant "look, older kids".

For the most part, my boys are older then the other babies in my parents group but this was the first time that the boys were called older and it was sad. Sad that my babies are no longer small babies but sad because G-Dawg is probably further behind in gross motor skills than than the baby boy on our walk.

On Friday, the PT came to the day care center and did a mid-term evaluation. G-Dawg's EI evaluation was in March and a full re-evaluation will be done in September. However, a mid-term evaluation is done in between.

Based on the questionnaire that the PT completed, G-Dawg tested at a 7 month level for gross motor skills and at a 9 month level for language. The language part isn't SO bad, although I did think that G-Dawg was further ahead. In other areas, including cognitive and social skills, he tested at an 11-12 month level. Since his social skills are getting better and I have a good feel for what types of things the DI is doing with him to do them on my own, I'm going to ask the DI to work on his speech. The PT explained that in my state, EI doesn't do specific speech therapy until 2 years old. Before that, the DI works on speech.

I was very happy with the day care. We took G-Dawg to the crib area of the nursery room and a few minutes later, two of the day care workers, including the woman who runs the room, showed up to learn what they could do for G-Dawg on a daily basis. For now they'll just put him in a crawling position and stand him up. I feel really good that they'll help to get G-Dawg where he needs to be. It also became clear how they were smitten with G-Dawg. That boy is such a charmer.

G-Dawg has actually made some progress in the last week despite the findings. He has nearly mastered going from a crawling position (when you put him that way) to a sitting position. He doesn't like being in a crawling position but doesn't cry about it too much either. The PT says that his upper body strength is improving but his lower body is still weak because he can't tuck his knees underneath himself to get into a crawling position on his own. My concern now is that he won't learn to crawl because he'll automatically go back to sitting.

Hubby has taught G-Dawg to point. Well, he's more like just sticking out his finger but he learned the command in warp speed. The good news here is that G-Dawg is learning at a rapid pace now. Between learning to sit and learning to point, he's a genius in my book!

Poor G-Dawg, however, has had some constipation issues. He's been pushing out pebble poops several times a day now for quite some time but now that we've transitioned the little fella to 100% whole milk, he's not even making too many pebble poops.

Last night we put him to sleep and not long after he started crying. I rocked him and in about 2 seconds, he feel asleep. Not long after, he woke up crying again. This happened a few times until finally he was in a tizzy and I had to give him a bottle with formula to calm him down. After putting him back in his crib, the crying started again. The on-call doctor had Hubby rushing to the only 24 hour pharmacy in the area that he knew off - the ghetto pharmacy - for some glycerin suppositories By the time he got back, G-Dawg and I were passed out on the bed.

Or so I thought. G-Dawg had one last cry once Hubby was home and fast asleep on the couch. That boy slept until 7 on our bed! I slept most of the night on the floor since G-Dawg had turned sideways and I had no room and didn't want to touch him.

This morning we feebly tried to insert a suppository in a place that we try to avoid and G-Dawg didn't flinch. He wound up pooping it out before it had a chance to dissolve. Tonight, Hubby went on a search for infant suppositories that might fit better than the child ones that he bought and by the time he returned, G-Dawg had taken a nice poop. Not a huge one, but I was happy with the results and so was he. He's now sleeping soundly and narrowly missed another suppository raid by about 30 minutes.

I wonder if the constipation is caused by his hypotonia or the fact that he doesn't move around much. Their friend Z who is the same age and also not crawling (he sees the same PT) is on laxatives. Perhaps there's a link?

J-Man had no problems pooping today. That poop ain't what it used to be. J-Man is eating up a storm. Today he had a large chunk of my grilled cheese sandwich, a few slices of pickle, a few slices of roast beef, some tater tots, some more cheese, and a 4oz container of pureed green beans. I don't know where it all goes, he's not chunky like he used to be. Those green beans had to be mixed with roast beef to get him to eat them. That boy is starting to reject his veggies. I got him to eat sauteed asparagus but the steamed carrots were a no-go and the pureed packaged stuff doesn't do it for him anymore.

With G-Dawg, I'm having difficulty finding things for him to eat. Yogurt, cheese, and bananas - are out of the question because they are constipators. Whole foods linger in his mouth for a while and he doesn't swallow them right away. So, I've resorted to jarred foods...ick! The thought of pureed chicken in a jar isn't so tempting. G-Dawg agrees, he doesn't like it so much ad it takes forever to feed him. Sometimes I don't get through half a jar before he starts spitting it out. The yuckiness not only dribbles out of his mouth but he blows raspberries and it gets everywhere!

Now that they're on whole milk, I worry about iron and nutrients. The bottles have to chilled and whole organic milk is expensive. Why is it that other people are happy to transition off of formula?

So, it was a good weekend despite the constipation. An old co-worker of mine visited me from a few hours away. I feel so honored that she'd go so far to visit me and the boys. She brought her daughter, E, who is about 16 months old now. E is running and says a bunch of words. I got a good glimpse into what life will be like very shortly. When she talked, my mouth nearly dropped open!

In fact, I know that I keep saying that J-Man will walk any day now but I it's true now more than ever. I read somewhere that walking behind a baby while holding their arms encourages them to walk. When I do that with J-Man, he nearly runs. And today, he started pushing one of the dining room chairs across the apartment - while walking and holding on to it. Once he almost let go.

I'm not anxious for him to walk. I know that that will mean him getting into more trouble. On the other hand, if he could walk, I could put some shoes on the boy and let him walk around places like the park and not have to worry about carrying him or worry about him crawling in strange, dirty places. Carry 24 lbs of baby on my left side (my right is uncomfortable for some reason) has made me stronger but it's still not easy.

On a sad note, the couple with the 8 month old twins boys that live down the street are moving several hours away in a few days. I suppose that I'll have to find a new person to hang out with on my half day Fridays but it won't be the same. Every time I walk by the apartment, I know that that I'll miss them. Those boys are so cute too. Tonight they stopped by for a last play date. They will be sorely missed.

The "Clap"

2011-07-07T22:10:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 13 Months Old

So many cool goings on this week. G-Dawg will clap when I saw "clap". I know that in my last blog post I said that him doing "so big" was the cutest thing ever but I really think that clapping is. He looks at his little hands and tentatively claps his hands, then he gets more confidence and claps harder. His lips purse together in concentration, making his cheeks all puffy. If it wasn't the best feeling in the world to see him understand a word (besides milk), I dont know what is.

The boys have been doing well in day care and I've made more of a point to get ready the night before, washing and making sippies (I hate that word)when I get home in addition to the boys' laundry, their dinner, and bathing and putting them to bed. I suppose that I will add brushing their teeth to the list soon. Hubby's been working late, worried about his job. It's exhausting but rewarding.

When I pick the boys up, they get all excited to see me. I can only hold one at a time so I sit on the floor and give them hugs. I've been told that they're doing really well, although the chart shows two scattered short naps for J-Man. I don't worry about it like I did with the nanny. The seem happy, although tired.

Just the act of picking them up and dropping them off means that I don't get to spend much time with them. The mornings are spent getting ready and they're only up for a hour after we get home. I miss them so much. I just want to be with them and teach them new things all day. Plus, now G-Dawg isn't getting much physical therapy with us.

Last night I fell asleep in the boys' room. It's been atleast a few weeks since that's happened. J-Man's hand was against the side of the crib and I put my lips on his hand to feel his skin. He was so peaceful.

Tonight G-Dawg was really tired. After I put him down, he did his recently developed cranky routine (crying and rolling from side to side in frustration) and I sang him my usual "Wheels on the Bus" song and his eyes slowly fluttered shut. He stuck the burp cloth in his mouth, turned to his side, and he was out for the night. I'm cherishing moments like that. Now that they're entering the toddler phase, I know I won't get as many as I used to.

It feels like it's been a long week even though it's actually been short. As a reward to myself for making it through the week, I smoked a little bowl. It's been well over a month. Hubby hid the weed and I've been so good. Just a little something to relax. When I have time to relax, I can't seem to and when I just want to relax, there's too much going on.

So Big, Pillows, and 1st Day of Day Care

2011-07-05T14:48:00.001-04:00

The Boys are 13 Months Old

I'd heard of "so big" a while back from a friend of mine whose daughter is a few months older than the boys. I didn't think much of it until my MIL showed it to us this past weekend. The concept is pretty simple. You stretch out your arms and say "so big". I've been repeatedly showing this to the boys for the past 3 or 4 days. I excitedly stretch out my arms (G-Dawg responds to excitement) and whaddya know, G-Dawg now imitates so big!

It is the cutest thing ever seeing his little arms stretch out as far as possible. He looks so proud and happy when he does it. I've been unable to get it on video but my camera is at the ready just in case he does it again.

It's such a relief to see him responding. My worries of autism are slowly fading. G-Dawg is also pivoting on his legs and it looks like he's trying to get into a crawling position. I don't think that he actually wants to crawl, but I think that he's trying to figure out how to get out of sitting position. He sits so much, I wonder if he gets uncomfortable sometimes.

Speaking of comfort, Hubby and I took the boys to IKEA yesterday and I bought J-Man a pillow. It's a thin but fluffy toddler pillow to put in the crib. I've heard that pillows shouldn't be given until a year old but the package said 1+ so I figured we'd try it. I laid J-Man down and he knew just what to do with it. He slept with his little head on the pillow all night!

At one point, I went into the nursery because G-Dawg was letting out some pitiful cries. J-Man complained and lifted his head up and it was sweating. He went right back down but I hope that it's not too hot in their room. I want to leave the door open at night but we're afraid that the cats might come in and start meowing at them.

To get G-Dawg to sleep, I had to give him a bottle. We've cut down on his milk/formula intake and I'm trying to increase his solids but I think that he really just likes drinking formula. It's tough getting him to eat enough solids. At IKEA, our trip turned into a full day excursion because we tried to get G-Dawg to eat his entire 6 oz jar of food. In the mean time, J-Man at several Swedish meatballs, some mashed potatoes, and orange juice. With J-Man, we just give him whatever we are eating. I need to get him a mat to put on public tables that I can put bits of food on for him to self feed.

So that was yesterday. The boys were well-fed. J-man slept on his little pillow. But their worlds turned upside down when we dropped them off at day care. I called to check in twice already and while G-Dawg has been an angel, napping and eating on schedule, J-Man hadn't taken his morning nap and was refusing his milk.

As I type this, I hope that he's comfortably snoozing away with his paci and burp cloth, full from all of the goodies that I sent with him. Mommy made him fresh tomatoes, asparagus (!), cantaloupe, and chicken cold cuts. Yum!

It took Hubby and I longer to pack up the boys and get them to day care. We started around 7:15 and didn't leave the center until about 8:30. And the place is just 5 minutes away. I think that we'll get better at getting them out the door with more practice. Food must be prepared and clothes must be laid out every night. I think that we'll get into a groove, it just may take us (and the boys) a few days.

Too Many Updates to Create a Title For

2011-07-04T16:46:00.002-04:00

The Boys are 13 Months Old

A variety of things have taken place recently...

Hubby and I watched Mildred Pierce on HBO. If you're ever interested in watching approximately 6 straight hours of drab banter and bland storylines about a mediocre newly-single woman in the early part of the 20th century, this is the miniseries for you.

Midred Piece had a daughter. A nasty, lying, spoiled daughter. A daughter that back-stabbed her time and time again and displayed such blatant disregard for her mother that even I flinched. She got worse with every episode and I couldn't help but think about how lucky I am to have sons. If this is how girls can turn out, bring me the boys. Television like this makes me think that I'm unquestionably meant to have sons because that kind of drama is not for me.

Last Thursday marked the one year anniversary of the boys’ due date. Now the boys are truly a year old. My little babies are gone. J-Man is totally on whole milk and G-Dawg gets a mixture of 2 parts whole milk, 1 part formula. I also retired most of our bottles.

Another highlight of last week? The evil nanny's ("M"'s) LAST DAY. As I handed her three weeks pay (the week's pay plus the almost two vacation weeks that she didn't use), she hung her head down and told me that she was expecting four weesk pay. She couldn't, however, explain what the extra fourth week was for.

As we were having the conversation, my mother-in-law walked in and excitedly began playing with the boys. M had the nerve to suggest that I had timed it that she would walk in during this particular conversation. The next day she texted me at 5:30am.

"I have worked for u for a year I did a very good job taking care of ur boys now that u do not need my service any more I know u know that u are to give me a weeks salary to go home and u refuse to do so I am not happy with the situation at all who does that it is the law here," M said (she's not one for punctuation).

I told her to give me a call to discus and that we were clear with her a month ago that we would pay out the 2 weeks vacation. I'm not about to go back and forth via text for a dispute. Who does THAT?

She said "I am not talking about the vaca pay that I know I am entitle to plz be reminded I did not get any vacation what so ever I know my rights."

It's true, she took no vacation. Hubby and I appreciated her reliability and paid her out two weeks vacation even though she hasn't worked for us a whole year. And as everyone reminds me, I'm not REQUIRED by law to do that.

Where this week of pay comes from I'm not sure. At first, I thought that she meant her unused sick time. Hubby then thought that it was for the actual vacation that she was taking the following week. But after a Google search, it became clear to me that she was talking about severance pay. SEVERANCE PAY. M never called, I imagine that she's home with her family now on vacation finally, but is brewing about, complaining to her family and friends that we are cheap, ungrateful people.

My masseuse said that I should tell her to go fly a kite. My MIL thinks that she is being manipulative, playing the “poor me” card, and my mom hit the nail on the head – that she is one of those people that will never be happy. She thinks that everyone is out to get her and rip her off. Recently she saw a sign for a $30 haircut and after she went in, the woman told her the bill would be $50. M thought “why me?”

We gave her 4 weeks notice, paid out 2 weeks of vacation, and I posted 20 ads for her on Craiglist and found her a temporary job, yet she’s probably still thinking “poor me”. She’s thinking that we just booted her out on the street like some garbage. I don’t know why I bother doing anything for anyone sometimes.

What gets me most is that we got a nanny because day care was dangerous – the risk of RSV on preemies was too great. So instead of buying a BMW (not that we’d actually buy a BMW), we got a nanny for a year, trying to be good parents. All we wound up with is a headache.

Anyway, M can go fly a kite. I will no longer help her search for her next position. Part of me actually wants to call just to argue with her, but I’m letting it go.

On the flip side, day care is GOOD! I took the boys there twice last week to get them acclimated. On our second visit, my MIL and I left the boys in the classroom and disappeared to another room. G-Dawg was fine and J-Man was unsettled until they sat him down with some Rice Krispies which are small and occupied him for a while. I’ve since bought a box for home.

Everyone there seems really kind and they even asked what exercises that they should do with G-Dawg. I brought all of the boys’ things over created a schedule and an info sheet about the boys.

My MIL’s visit was the first one since the boys’ birthday party and she stayed for THREE nights! Her husband’s lung tumor has been reduced by 75% and he’s doing well enough for her to be away. For three blissful nights, Hubby and I slept and didn’t have to worry about getting up early. She washed all of the bottles/sippys and changed their diapers. She’s so easygoing and loving and one of the few people that J-Man trusts. I didn’t want the woman to leave!

We took the boys to their first fireworks spectacular. I went with some people from my parents group and we kept all the babies up late. There was camaraderie amongst us since we were in the same boat. J-Man and G-Dawg were startled by the noise, but calmed down quickly. G-Dawg watched the fireworks in awe. We were out past 10 and were tired. In fact, that was the latest that we’ve kept them up. Ever.

MIL also watched the boys on Saturday night while Hubby and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. We went to a steakhouse and saw Bad Teacher. Hubby got me TWO cards. One he bought simply because it reminded him of his wedding vows and the other goes a little something like this:

“Dear Love,

What an amazing and wonderful year we’ve shared, and how quickly it has gone by! It sill seems just like yesterday that we were in ____ deciding to get married, and what a wonderful decision it was!

Love,
Hubby”

Okay, so the last 12 months have not exactly gone by quickly, but what a way with words my Hubster has.

The night after MIL left, G-Dawg had a hard time falling asleep and woke up crying around 4am. So much for a full night’s rest. I think that he was constipated. Plus his fourth tooth broke through, so that’s a double-whammy. He was already making pebble poops when we started introducing whole milk, now he’s constantly pushing. If this continues, we may need to put the boy on laxatives.

Today we took the boys to Ikea to continue with the baby-proofing activities than have occurred recently. We bought a door for our entertainment center to cover up our electronics and the drawer that J-Man explores every day in the living room. The drawer wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t try to close it on his finger.

The recycling bins are now located LOCKED inside of the kitchen cabinets. In fact, all double cabinets are locked. The cat food is on the counter because J-Man was sampling the kitty vittles. In just a few short weeks, we have a housekeeper starting to come every two weeks. The floors have to be clean for J-Man who almost swallowed an eyeglass nosepad the other day and the bathtub has to be clean if we’re going to get these boys out of their infant tub.

All in all, it was an eventful week and long weekend. I’m not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, however if the first week of day care goes smoothly, next weekend will be here quickly!

Moms Group

2011-06-28T21:34:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 13 Months Old

It's been a while since I've made any mention of the mom's group that I took over. It's been over 6 months so now is a better time than any for an update.

The group has somehow taken on a life of it's own and is not without a bit of drama. When I took over, there were about 25 members. Now we're well over a hundred! I didn't even do any recruiting. I printed out business cards but I've only given one to my hygienist and she hasn't even signed up.

I've been scheduling about one event a month. This past weekend we took the babies to the park. Everyone seems to enjoy being outside now that summer is finally here. Last month I threw something on the calendar for a local park and nearly 30 people showed up! Clearly the other moms (and perhaps dads - I changed the title to include both) are itching to get out with their babies and meet other new parents.

Every 4-6 weeks the woman (I'll call her "S") who runs another nearby group posts a lunch meetup on our calendar. Most of the people that show up are from her group but it's been pretty successful. Originally S was posting more on my group but I asked her to limit the posting to local events. The town that her group is based on is a good half an hour away and my members aren't interested in travelling that far.

S is an interesting character. She's short, round, and a little bit jolly. She's Russian I think and sometimes it's hard to figure out what she's getting at. I mean, I can understand her words, but it's difficult to to have a conversation with someone that doesn't follow the normal course of a conversation.

Ironically, S is a dentist and works part time. Perhaps she chose this profession so that she didn't need to make conversation with her clients. She does the meetup in her spare time, purely for fun. She doesn't always answer her e-mails yet she sends me the occasional "greeting" on Meetup (similar to the Facebook wall concept). She is nice yet distant. She keeps her distance for a while then out of nowhere she's talking to me about some event ideas.

There's something about S that just perplexes me. Her husband is very cute and very sweet and her daughter who just turned on is just about the most beautiful baby girl that I've ever seen.

Anyway, enough about S. At one of these lunch meetups, I ran into the owner of another group that covers our area (I'll call her "V"). I didn't even know about it until she e-mailed me. V and some other moms run the group full time. It's a non-profit organization and they have events every day. I've joined the group but haven't gone to the events. There are things to do on the weekend, but they never seem applicable. Most of the good stuff is during the work week.

So V immediately starts off the conversation by asking me why I started the group. Not in a threatening way, but she was clearly ready to talk shop. She feels bad that due to privacy reasons, she can't post her events on my group because people in my group will missing out. I interpreted her comments to mean "I've put a lot of work into this meetup thing and you're impeding on my territory bitch." But maybe I'm just reading into things.

V is the type of personality that I would expect to see running a mom's group. Not nurturing per se, a but down to business, efficient, busy mom. Certainly not the same personality as S.

V and I do have something - or someONE rather - in common, however. I was recently approached by yet ANOTHER woman (I'll call her "T - are you lost yet?) who has started a business creating a website and events for parents to do in the area. V felt threatened and threatened to ban her from the group if she posted those events.

I, on the other hand, welcomed some help in putting things on the calendar. After all, with such a large turnout for the park, people were looking for things to do. T and I met for coffee, talked about holding some classes, and exchanged some ideas. After initially putting things on the calendar without my asking, she agreed to run things by me first.

Not long after, a friend of my from the group, K, started e-mailing me, complaining that V was spamming the group. Her argument was valid: a for profit business shouldn't be posting on a not for profit group. Alas, I don't feel like V is making a huge amount of money and I understand that she's just trying to do something to keep herself sane while taking care of her 2 kids. So, I continued to let V post to our group.

K did suggest that all RSVPs go through our group and I agreed and told T who complied. However, K, whom I do have a fondness for, is pretty strong willed and has tested my patience with her inquiries. K, after a chance encounter on Craiglist (she contacted me to buy my Bumbo tray) has since set up baby gym/yoga classes and is running a monthly mom's night out (the first night this month was very successful). Somehow, unwittingly, she has become my right hand woman. If I need an opinion on something, she's the one I go to now. But her opinion is a persistent one.

Not long after, much to my relief, T started her own meetup group. I asked that she not post to our group to minimize confusion. I notified V, who was glad that we were on the same page. Now I no longer have to answer to K!

Now there are three groups that cover the area: mine, V's and T's groups. The town will not be eventless ever again.

Somehow K and I wound up hooking up with two other woman in our group. They all came to the boys' first birthday party and we all went to one of theirs recently. It's not quite clear to me how we all became friends but I kind of like it. We live within a mile of each other (except for one woman) and are going to fireworks on Friday. It feels like of homey.

I really enjoy being around K and E. They're both smart, funny, around my age, and seem to have the same lifestyle. They're also easy to talk to. Y and her husband are nice (they're the ones that don't live within a mile from us), but they're a bit quiet and their son seems to be pretty sensitive (e.g. they didn't use the pinata at their party because their son had grown attached to it). They walk on eggshells around him. They originally invited me over for a playdate and then I invited them over as well but they haven't been as eager to get together again so I'm not sure how they feel about myself and Hubby.

Then there's C who I talk to online frequently and ran into the other day (if you consider honking like a crazy woman when I spotted her on the sidewalk of a busy road "running into her"). Then there's another C whose son's first birthday party we've been invited to. Then there's R with the twins down the street who is sadly moving away next week. I will miss our Friday walks and all of the comments we get about having 2 sets of twin boys.

When I first took over the meetup group, I felt like an outsider. I had lived here for 2 years yet only knew approximately 1 person and I wasn't even close with them. I dare say that I feel more at home now. Like I'm wanted. Like I may actually have found myself. The meetup group did the trick. The question is: since I have such trouble finding time to schedule events and now that I'm not such a new mom, does it make sense to continue or should I let V and T take over the area?

Oh, and E's nanny needs to go away last minute for a month. Guess who's filling in??!

J-Man's Lights Shine Bright and G-Dawg's DI

2011-06-25T10:31:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 13 Months Old

SEVEN short month ago, I wrote about how J-Man's lights were turning on. Well, my blog readers (the three of you), the lights are ON and the wattage is cranked up! Would you believe that that boy started pushing his toys (you know, the things with wheels) and handing me objects this past week?

Not only that, J-Man magically figured out how to get small pieces of food in his mouth - cheerios, puffs, melon, you name it. That boy will eat anything but baby food. Okay, so he doesn't do it with his thumb and forefinger, but he's pretty good at palming the food into his mouth. And he's doing pretty good with drinking whole milk from his sippy cup too.

He taunts me though. I've repeated "ball" to him a thousand times and I haven't even gotten a "ba" from him, even in frustration when I hold the ball out of his reach. I've pointed to the rabbit decal above the changing table every day but no recognition. Every day I point to my nose and yesterday when I said "nose", he stuck his finger up my nose. Coincidence? Hubby said that I could say any word and he'd reach for my face.

I read my old blog post and I vaguely remember the dream that I had of J-Man skipping all of the milestones and going straight to running. Funny, he doesn't walk quite yet but I always joke about how once he gets going, he's going to be running EVERYWHERE.

It's occurred to me that G-Dawg's lights are on too, especially compared to when I wrote that blog post. He's totally with us, looking at people and wanting to be mobile. We had our first DI (developmental intervention I think) appointment this week and we discovered two important things which I would not have otherwise known:

1) G-Dawg will clap when prompted. I had to tap his hands together first and

2) He would not let the DI tap his hands together. Could this be a sign of stranger anxiety? Perhaps a sign of a preference for someone he knows? The DI definitely thought so and I am hopeful. Generally, G-Dawg was friendly and all smiles.

When G-Dawg clapped, we clapped and said "yay!" So then G-Dawg got excited and clapped some more. Then we got excited and he clapped some more out of excitement. From then on out, it was difficult to get him to do anything but clap. I suppose that he thought that that's all we wanted him to do.

There are a few thing that we'll work on. This week my focus will be trying to get him to put objects in a bucket. Right now he doesn't put things in the bucket with purpose. He will just drop and release things in front of him, almost as if he's trying to figure out how gravity works.

I really like the DI. He has a similar disposition to the PT and it wasn't surprising to find out that they know each other. Like the PT, our DI also has a young child which I think helps in his understanding of the kids he works with.

The entire time that he worked on the floor with G-Dawg, J-Man watched suspiciously from a few feet away. At one point, he was playing with a toy then stopped a few feet away and eyed him from around the side of the play gym. I thought it was the most adorable thing ever. The DI said that that's how he would expect a child his age to react.

Phasing out the Nanny

2011-06-24T21:46:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 13 Months Old

I signed up the boys for day care a few weeks ago. Crib sheets and labels are purchased. I have to buy a things and have the pediatrician send in the medical forms and we're good to go. Hubby is looking forward to being able to leave earlier for work and I'm simply looking forward to not having our nanny around (I'll call her "M", aka our "3rd child").

The latest discovery that we've made about M is that she does not know how to operate a baby gate. She's a nanny, she's certainly had to have done this before and had even recommended baby gates to us, yet she can't for the life of her figure it out. And we can't for the life of us figure out why she can't figure it out.

Hubby usually puts the baby gate on the nursery door in the mornings so that J-Man doesn't rush out, squealing and speedily crawling his way into our bedroom. This would wake me up in the mornings (side note: I've gotten up with the boys this week and survived!). Recently, Hubby walked out to get ready for work and M pulled the gate right out of the door jam. It took Hubby a half an hour to fix the gate.

It's not like there's a latch dead smack in the middle the gate or anything. The commoner such as myself might be able to figure out how to pull the latch out, releasing the gate from the door, however we gave M too much credit and even after Hubby showed her what to do, she asked me the other day how to get it out of the door. Whenever M is concerned, detailed instructions (with pictures) are clearly required.

After we told M that we would no longer require her services, I thought that things would be awkward in the weeks that followed before we made the switch to day care. It was surprisingly not awkward. However, while M kept a positive attitude at first, the days that I work from home are terribly annoying, constantly having to give her updates about if I have any leads and how she needs a job because she's "responsible" and "has to pay her little rent".

A friend of mine calls me a "Sally". She has me figured out. I AM a Sally.

Sure, M is generally on time, trustworthy, and good with the boys, yet there are many other things that drive me nuts about her. I'm always complaining. When someone asks me how my day is going, my response is usually "Well, let me tell you about what M said today."

Yet, I'm a Sally. Somehow I feel responsible for finding her a job. Her last two employers found her a job and being that we pay her off the books, she won't get unemployment. I imagine that if she reported me, she would get in trouble as well, but who knows what she may do. It's been 3 weeks and with no real job prospects, I feel her desperation. The other day she came in late because the night before she couldn't fall asleep because she was so worried.

Several posts to Craigslist in a variety of locations around where M lives hasn't given us any real leads. M did have an interview with a woman with one child - a young son, who was paying well and on the books. The hours were good (from what I'm told). M was told by the woman that she chose someone else.

I've actually had a ton of inquires. I've even spoken with several people on the phone who say that they're going to call M but don't. My recommendation is glowing. I say that "I don't know what we'd do without her" but really what I mean is "Please get this woman out of my hair". I don't think that I'm sounding ingenuous.

People want her to live in, people want her to drive, people want her to do housework, people want her to commute a long distance. Several have just not been a good fit. One woman with twins and 2 older kids is very interested but has put her search on hold - her son broke his arm the day that she was supposed to call M. When M first heard about this woman, she nearly threw a hissy fit. What nerve the woman has wanting someone to watch FOUR kids (really one's in day care and the other's in 6th grade so it wouldn't be the whole day) and work from 7:30 to 6. I told M that people need to work and in her frustration, she went on about how everyone have such high expectations. You'd think that people expected Mary Poppins. That was over a week ago. Now M is ready to consider the job.

I find it ironic. M has such high expectations of everyone else but expects so much from everyone else. What she wants is a simple, easy job with one child, short hours, and top pay.

I think that what frustrates me the most is how she's said time and time again how "responsible" she is and how she "just wants to pay her rent" and how she's "on her own". Um, yeah, you're a 40-something single woman, all of those things apply. Never when I was single and working did I even think about those things. I just did what I had to do. She has the mentality of someone that just got out of college. I mean, of course she's on her own. Aren't most adults? This wouldn't bother me if she didn't mention it time and time again.

I also feel like she's relying on me to find her something. She's thought about calling this one agency but they weren't nice to her the last time she talked to them. She liked working for an airline before becoming a nanny, yet she hasn't approached them. She signed up for Care.com but something's missing from her profile and she needs to complete it. She's doing small things, but could be doing so much more. Some days, the boys nap at the same time for 2-3 hours. Why read magazines? Why not get online and use that time productively? Why not study for your driving exam for crist's sakes since you need it for so many jobs that you are looking to apply for? I'd be willing to give her a day off if she had something productive to do with it.

Today she asked if we could put off putting the boys in day care for a week. That won't fly. I'm not putting them in day care the week that she's away on vacation, then leaving them with her, then putting the back in day care after that week. I'm also looking forward to saving $200 a week on childcare.

The Sally part of me says just do it but a friend of mine had some very good advice for me: "The one who feels pity gets fucked." It sounds a lot better in Spanish but that is the gist of the translation. I've done my part, posting and responding to ads, giving her a month's notice, paying out 2 weeks of vacation. I've even inquired with the day care at work and with some friends. I know it's not a lot for her but it's a lot for me and Hubby, time and money-wise.

I will miss walking out of my bedroom and seeing the boys all day when I'm working from home. I'll miss the way that J-Man squeals when he sees me. I'll miss having them all to myself immediately when M leaves. I'll miss looking at the monitor and watching them nap. But I think that I will get so much more done at work. Family comes first but if I don't have a job, well, then we'll seriously need to reconsider our lifestyle.

Last week Hubby came home deflated. His new job is extremely demanding. He needs to understand several technologies that he isn't familiar with and deal with some strong personalities and colleagues (he's not aggressive by nature). He's on a high-visibility project that would require a 50-60 hour workweek (at least) to get done.This is on top of always being exhausted from getting up early because of the boys.

Poor Hubby. He just wants to do his own thing at work, not deal with politics all day. He wants to get home at a decent time to see the boys. His project is a fabulous opportunity but he told his boss that he's not cut out for the job. This conversation happened on a day where he was so tired that he couldn't even focus. What matters to me most is having Hubby around for as long as possible. I don't the stress having a negative impact on his health. His dad has diabetes, heart disease, and now cancer and I fear for the future.

There were a few days this week where I seriously considered the possibility of having Hubby be a stay at home dad. Really what he wants to do is stay home and do his own thing anyway (while working on a side business/invention). There are two infants to take care of - this wouldn't be a slacking off type of thing. Plus, he'd be better than any caregiver that we could possibly hire. Hubby seemed surprised by my openness to the possibility but he's going to stick it out a few months. It turns out that the result of the conversation with his boss was that he has more responsibility. He was told to keep at it for at least the next few months. Funny how those conversations don't always go as expected.

I read this now and realize it sounds like I'm saying that Hubby should have it easy but M should not. I sound like a hypocrite. This blog post does not capture their difference in attittudes or personalities but I'd have to double the length of this post to explain. Instead, I'm heading to bed. It's 9:45 and I'm exhausted. I've become an old fogie.

Father's Day Weekend

2011-06-19T21:14:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 13 Months Old

Father's Day weekend started off with a bang. On Friday, the PT seemed happy with G-Dawg's progress (i.e. his pivoting and recent quasi tummy sleeping) and continued to work on getting him to stand/walk and crawl. G-Dawg, while standing and leaning up against his sit n' stand walking toy (it's a train), lifted his foot up slightly as the toy moved forward. The PT and I both agreed that G-Dawg seemed motivated to get moving. Lately he seems to get frustrated that he's stuck sitting or laying down somewhere.

After the boys took a nap and some afternoon showers passed, my neighbor and I took our twins for a walk to the local grocery store. On the way, I met ANOTHER set of 8 month old twins 3 doors down from me. They're B/G twins and have two older sisters so it's not exactly the same situation as myself and my other neighbor.

At the grocery store, we got hammered with a torrential downpour. Neither of us brought our cell phones so my neighbor had to use the house phone to call her husband to rescue us. Hubby couldn't come because I had the keys to the car and he was locked out of the house! One way back, my neighbor said that she didn't regret going at all. Who can blame her? She's alone with the twins all \day and even I couldn't wait to get out after being with my boys for a mere 3 hours alone.

On Saturday, we took the boys to the baby store to buy their big boy convertible car seats. J-Man and G-Dawg shared a shopping cart with G-Dawg sitting at the front and J-Man standing in the cart itself. An enormous amount of pride washed over me seeing J-Man cruising along in the cart like a toddler.

Our infant car seats hold up to 35 lbs or 31". The boys exceed the height limit based on their last check-up so we figured that now's the right time to upgrade the car seats. This will be car seats #5 and #6 for us. We bought Britax Marathon car seats (thank God for 20% coupons at BuyBuyBaby by the way) and it turns out that they have no leg room when they're rear-facing! Doesn't that defeat the purpose of upgrading?

Hubby installed only one to see how we like it. He looked up pictures online and it shows kids with their legs all over the place. Apparently, Britaxes aren't known for their leg room. I'd like to keep the boys rear-facing until they're two. I will miss being able to see the tops of their heads in their infant car seats. We never got a mirror to work since the rear headrests aren't detachable and suction cups mirrors are never stick. However, currently I can tell by how their heads are slumped if they're sleeping or not.

Today was Hubby's second Father's Day. We got wonderful riverfront seats at a local seafood restaurant. My aunt, her husband, and her stepdaughter joined us, as well as my mom and uncle. We usually celebrate mother's day but I think that this was the first time that I've been out for Father's Day. I had a mug made with Hubby's favorite picture from the boys' party that says "Worlds Best Dad". Very cliche but I think that he likes it.

The best part about Father's Day, however, was watching G-Dawg, out of the blue, roll all the way to his tummy, hold his head up, push up with his arms slightly, and begin to make army crawling type motions. Hubby and I watched with our mouths open. Hubby was saying that G-Dawg had been rolling to his tummy recently but this is really the first that I've seen him do it competently and able to pull his arm out from under him after rolling. Apparently Hubby has been working with him on rolling in the mornings and I didn't even know it.

Sadly, I didn't have the video camera out the second time it happened. Needless to say, I'll be laying him down on the floor more.

Finally, my friend UltraFirefly, whose genius son is 11 months old, told me that he's saying words like "duck" and "ball". The minute I read her e-mail, Hubby and immediately began a mission to teach the boys those two words. We've already been trying to teach them cat, mamma, dadda, and milk but I'll take any word that I can get!

Tired of pointing to pictures of ducks and balls, I bought an actual ball that I saw at the supermarket tonight. I can't buy a duck, so a ball will have to do. The PT said that his daughter said her first word when she was frustrated. So I just have to get them frustrated over wanting the ball and then maybe they'll say it.

Oh, I guess that wasn't the final thing. I gave the boys whole milk this weekend in their sippy cups. The first day, I gave them only 2oz to make sure that they didn't have a reaction. Then I gave them a full 6oz bottle today. They took it surprisingly well. I expected them to throw their cups at me like I've heard that kids do but they gratefully took the nice cold milk.

I've heard that goat's milk may actually be better for babies but after I saw the $7 price tag, I went with regular organic milk that's half the price -I figure that that's a compromise.

G-Dawg is constantly constipated these days. He poops 6-7 times a day, often little pebble poops. The pediatrician recommend giving him prunes and removing constipating foods from his diet such as yogurt. So, his favorite food yogurt is gone and we give him prune juice every day. No luck. I've heard that the switch to whole milk constipates babies as well. so it probably won't get better any time soon. Poor little G-Dawg.

So Proud of My Boys!

2011-06-16T21:37:00.000-04:00

The Boys are 13 Months Old

G-Dawg is progressing in leaps and bounds this week! To the outsider, getting excited about twisting/rotating his body at this age may seem curious but to me, it's a sign that he's finally going to be mobile! Last Friday I thought that it could be a fluke, but G-Dawg is getting more adept at turning his body and does it more often every day. One time I also witnessed him reaching so far that he landed on his belly and almost went into a crawling position!

I caught G-Dawg twisting his body on video, ironically, while I was trying to get footage of J-man standing unsupported. The boys were in the bedroom with me and I looked over and J-Man was standing next to the nightstand (read: not leaning on the nightstand) sorting through some movie ticket stubs and business cards! He'll be walking in no time.